May 25, 2008

Patriotism is not a short and frenzied burst of emotion but the long and steady dedication of a lifetime. Thomas Jefferson

"The harder the conflict, the more glorious the triumph. What we obtain too cheap, we esteem too lightly; it is dearness only that gives everything its value. I love the man that can smile in trouble, that can gather strength from distress and grow brave by reflection. 'Tis the business of little minds to shrink; but he whose heart is firm, and whose conscience approves his conduct, will pursue his principles unto death." Thomas Paine


If you look at what you do not have in life, you don’t have anything.
If you look at what you have in life, you have everything. Author Unknown


The Handshake
We live in a divided world. Nations are divided. We see it in the Middle East and across Africa. All over the world nations not only are striving against one another, but they are torn by strife within. It is a problem as old as humanity itself.
I was interested to read somewhere about the origin of the custom of handshaking. In ancient times, men always carried daggers. When a traveler met a man he didn't recognize, he automatically reached for his weapon, as did the stranger. The two would then circle each other until they knew what the situation called for. If the stranger was not a threat, both men would sheath their daggers. Then they would extend their right hands, their weapon hands, as a token of goodwill. This explains why women never developed the custom of handshaking. They did not carry weapons.
It appears to me that in today's world we are still circling each other as we always have, still checking each other out. The nations of the world are not ready to shake hands. They are divided.

Looking for Security
In a Peanuts cartoon, Linus tells Charlie Brown, “When I hear those coyotes howling at night, it totally depresses me. I start to feel lonely . . . Then I get scared.”
Charlie Brown says, “I thought holding onto that blanket made you secure.”
Linus replies, “I think the warranty has run out.”
That’s the problem with most security blankets. Their warranty runs out.

I have so much to do today, I don’t know which to put off first.

I called a company the other day who said on their voice recording that my call was important to them but not important enough for them to pick up the phone .

They ought to put expiration dates on men’s clothes so we will know when they are out of date.


Pledge of Allegiance by Red Skelton
As a schoolboy, one of Red Skelton's teachers explained the words and meaning of the Pledge of Allegiance to his class. Skelton later wrote down, and eventually recorded, his recollection of this lecture. It is followed by an observation of his own.
I - Me, an individual, a committee of one.
Pledge - Dedicate all of my worldly good to give without self-pity.
Allegiance - My love and my devotion.
To the Flag - Our standard; Old Glory; a symbol of Courage; and wherever she waves there is respect, because your loyalty has given her a dignity that shouts, Freedom is everybody's job.
of the United - That means that we have all come together.
States - Individual communities that have united into forty-eight great states. Forty-eight individual communities with pride and dignity and purpose. All divided by imaginary boundaries, yet united to a common cause, and that is love of country, of America..
And to the Republic - A Republic - a sovereign state in which power is invested in the representatives chosen by the people to govern. And the government is the people; and it's from the people to the leaders, not from the leaders to the people.
For which it stands
One Nation One Nation - meaning, so blessed by God.
Indivisible - Incapable of being divided.
With Liberty - Which is Freedom; the right of power for one to live his own life, without fears, threats, or any sort of retaliation.
And Justice - The principle, and qualities, of dealing fairly with others.
For All - For All - that means, boys and girls, it's as much your country as it is mine.
Now, let me hear you recite the Pledge of Allegiance:
I pledge allegiance to the Flag of the United States of America, and to the Republic, for which it stands; one nation, under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.

Since I was a small boy, two states have been added to our country, and two words have been added to the Pledge of Allegiance: Under God.

Mantra of contemporary TV: Love everyone and especially me !

How many times does the word “America” appear in the Star Spangled Banner?

“In a consumer society, there are invariably two kinds of slaves: the prisoners of addiction and the prisoners of envy.” (Ivan Illich)

Get your facts first and then you can distort them in any way you please.

Who Says?
Philosophers say… Think your way out.
Intellectuals say… Read your way out.
Artists say… Create your way out.
Scientists say… Invent your way out.
Politicians say… Legislate your way out.
Industrialists say… Work your way out.
Businessmen say… Spend your way out.
Satan says… There is no way out.
Jesus says… “I am the Way the Truth and the Life: no man comet unto the Father but by Me.”

If you want to be there when the roll is called up yonder, you best be present when the roll is called down here.

How busy is not as important as why busy. The bee is praised: the mosquito is swatted.

Don’t pray “Our Father” on Sunday and then spend the rest of the week living like an orphan.

Joy comes by making Jesus first, others second, and yourself last - and distantly so !

The closer we are to the Shepherd, the farther we are from the wolf.

Some people go through life standing at the complaint counter.

I am neither for or against apathy.

“The hero reveals the possibilities of human nature.
The celebrity reveals the possibilities of the press and media.
Celebrities are people who make news, but heroes are people who make history.
Time makes heroes but dissolves celebrities.”


ON THE COURSE: Too many amateur golfers are inclined to play "winter rules," even during the perfect conditions of summer. They move the ball into their own fairway, perhaps even in the rough, before hitting it. The more serious golfer will typically play it as it lies. There ware many advantages to doing this. One is that it gives you practice hitting the ball from the kinds of lies that occur on the golf course - a ball sitting in a deep divot, nasty sloping lies, and those bothersome tufts of grass behind the ball. Then, in tournament play, the player is more prepared for those uncomfortable situations. Furthermore, for the purist, it's simply a matter of playing each round according to the rules so you have the satisfaction of knowing your true score.
IN LIFE: In life we also must "play it as it lies." There are no free lifts or "bumps." We have to learn to deal with the circumstances that come our way. Difficult situations are simply a part of life. Maturity comes as we learn to cope with these challenges and allow them to make us stronger people.
SWING THOUGHT: Trust God to give you the ability (provision) to play out of any difficult "lie" that comes your way. He will hear your prayer and give you the courage you need to play on.

It is the VETERAN, not the preacher, who has given us freedom of religion.
It is the VETERAN, not the reporter, who has given us freedom of the press.
It is the VETERAN, not the poet, who has given us freedom of speech.
It is the VETERAN, not the campus organizer, who has given us freedom to assemble
It is the VETERAN, not the lawyer, who has given us the right to a fair trial.
It is the VETERAN, not the politician, Who has given us the right to vote.

May 18, 2008

DO YOU FEEL TIRED?
If you're an adult of average weight here is what you accomplish in 24 hours:
Your heart beats 103,689 times,
Your blood travels 168,000,000 miles,
You breathe 23,040 times,
You inhale 438 cubic feet of air,
You eat 3/4 pounds of food,
You drink 2.9 quarts of liquids,
You speak 4,800 words, including some unnecessary ones,
You move 750 muscles,
Your nails grow .000046 inch,
Your hair grows .01714 inch,
You exercise 7,000,000 brain cells.... Do you feel tired?

It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare. -- Mark Twain

Slow down and enjoy life. It's not only the scenery you miss by going too fast, you also miss the sense of where you are going and why. -- Eddie Cantor

Pain nourishes courage. You can't be brave if you've only had wonderful things happen to you. -- Mary Tyler Moore

"People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing--that's why we recommend it daily." -- Zig Ziglar

"A skeptic won't take KNOW for an answer." -- Unknown

"None are so empty as those who are full of themselves." -- Benjamin Whichcote

A teacher gave her class of second graders a lesson on the magnet and what it does.
The next day in a written test, she included this question: "My full name has six letters. The first one is M. I am strong and attractive. I pick up things. What am I?"
When the test papers were turned in, the teacher was astonished to find that almost 50 percent of the students answered the question with the word "Mother."

We must ask ourselves, How much of eternity is in what we are doing?

Question. Which came first, the chicken or the egg? Answer. According to Webster, the chicken.

About the only exercise some people get is side-stepping responsibility, running down their neighbors, and jumping to conclusions.

Every day the teacher had an hour of “empty your mind.” She told me that that was one class I really excelled in.
I don’t know what your problem is, but I bet it’s hard to pronounce.


Where the Bugs Are
Your bed
The threat: More than 84 percent of beds in U.S. homes host dust mites. These microscopic critters live in your sheets and feed on your dead skin, and their fecal matter and corpses contribute to asthma and allergies.

The solution: Don't make your bed. A study from London's Kingston University found that dust mites need humidity levels above 50 percent to survive. And while they can't live in the arid conditions of an unmade bed, a made bed traps the moisture they need to thrive. Mount an air attack, too. Try bundling a dehumidifier with an oscillating fan for a two-pronged moisture eliminator.

Where the Bugs Are
The restaurant menu
The threat: Ever see anybody wash a menu? We didn't think so. A recent study in the Journal of Medical Virology reports that cold and flu viruses can survive for 18 hours on hard surfaces. If it's a popular joint, hundreds of people could be passing their germs on to you.

The solution: Never let the menu touch your plate or silverware as you ponder the wine list, and wash your hands after you order. But how do you escape the bathroom without touching the door handle? Palm a spare paper towel after you wash up, and then use it to grab the handle. Execute this trick properly and nobody needs to know how much you fear germs.


YOU CALL ME . . .
You call me Master and obey me not,
You call me Light and see me not,
You call me the Way and walk not,
You call me Life and desire me not,
You call me Wise and follow me not,
You call me Fair and love me not,
You call me Rich and ask me not,
You call me Gracious and trust me not,
You call me Noble and serve me not,
You call me Mighty and honor me not,
You call me Just and fear me not,
If I condemn you, Blame Me Not. Unknown

How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?

" I've read the last page of the Bible. It's all going to turn out all right."
God has two thrones - one in the highest heavens; the other is in the lowliest heart.

Once upon a time in their marriage, my Dad did something really stupid. My Mom chewed him out for it. He apologized, they made up. However, from time to time, my mom mentions what he had done. "Honey," my Dad finally said one day, "why do you keep bringing that up? I thought your policy was 'forgive and forget.'"
"It is," she said. "I just don't want you to forget that I've forgiven and forgotten."


A minister delivered a sermon in ten minutes one Sunday morning that was about half the usual length of his sermons. He explained, "I regret to inform you that my dog, who is very fond of eating paper, ate that portion of my sermon which I was unable to deliver this morning."
After the service, a visitor from another church shook hands with the preacher as he was leaving, and said, "Sir, if that dog of yours has any pups, I sure would like to get one to give to my minister!"

The words of baseball great Babe Ruth: "The way a team plays as a whole determines its success. You may have the greatest bunch of individual stars in the world, but if they don't play together, the club won't be worth a dime."

"Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac." - George Carlin

Life Is Mostly What We Make of It
To those who see with loving eyes, life is beautiful.
To those who speak with tender voices, life is peaceful.
To those who help with gentle hands, life is full.
And to those who care with compassionate hearts, life is good beyond all measure.

More people are killed by donkeys annually than are killed in plane crashes.
A pastor, known for his lengthy sermons, noticed a man get up and leave during the middle of his message. The man returned just before the conclusion of the service.
Afterwards the pastor asked the man where he had gone.
"I went to get a haircut," was the reply.
"But," said the pastor, "why didn't you do that before the service?"
"Because," the gentleman said, "I didn't need one then."

May 11, 2008 Mother's Day

* The most important occupation on earth for a woman is to be a real mother to her children. It does not have much glory to it; there is a lot of grit and grime. It’s kind of like a grimy shepherd taking care of wandering sheep. But there is no greater place of ministry, position, or power than that of a mother. --Phil Whisenhunt

God is more interested in making us what He wants us to be than giving us what we think we ought to have.


10 Hints for a Hope-Filled Day

1. Today I Will Not Strike Back
If someone is rude, impatient or unkind, I will not respond in a like manner.

2. Today I Will Ask God to Bless My "Enemy"
If I come across someone who treats me harshly or unfairly, I will quietly ask God to bless that individual.

3. Today I Will be careful About What I Say
I will carefully choose and guard my words, being certain that I do not spread gossip.

4. Today I Will Go the Extra Mile
I will find ways to share the burden of another.

5. Today I Will Forgive
I will forgive any hurts or injuries that come my way.

6. Today I will Do Something Nice for Someone
I will reach out and bless the life of another.

7. Today I Will Raise the Spirits of Someone Who is Discouraged
My smile, my words, my expression of support can make the difference to someone who is wrestling with life.

8. Today I Will Nurture My Body
I will eat less; I will eat only healthy foods. I will thank God for my body.

9. Today I Will Grow Spiritually
I will spend a little more time in prayer. I will find a quiet place and listen to God's voice!

10. Today I Will Celebrate Forgiveness in Christ
even when I don't live up to the other nine hints listed above!


"One person with passion is better than forty who are merely interested." -- Thomas K. Connellan

"You can preach a better sermon with your life than with your lips." -- Oliver Goldsmith
A faith worth having is a faith worth sharing.
I hear you broke off your engagement.
Yes, my feelings for Jimmy have changed.
Did you give back the ring?
No, my feelings for the ring haven’t changed.

The Lord wants our precious time, not our spare time.

No burden is too heavy for the everlasting arms.

God put the church in the world. Satan tries to put the world in the church.

Come Easter, we were so poor, Dad couldn’t afford new outfits. So he took us to a different church.

I went out with a nurse last night.
If you behave, maybe next time they’ll let you go out by yourself.

Men do not reject the Bible because it contradicts itself but because it contradicts them.
We had so big a family that we had to stand in line for dinner - in alphabetical order.

Coach dismissed me from the team the other day; said I must be taking performance un-enhancing drugs.

The most popular games in Christian circles today are One Upsmanship, Blind man’s bluff, and Heavenly bridges falling down.
It doesn’t matter how fast you’re running with the football - if you’re running in the wrong direction.

Sheep 1. Baa.
Sheep 2. Moo.
Sheep 1. What’s the matter with you, sheep don’t say moo?
Sheep 2. I’m learning a foreign language.


The Meanest Mom
Was your Mom mean?? I know mine was.
We had the meanest mother in the whole world!
While other kids ate candy for breakfast, we had to have cereal, eggs and toast.
When others had a Pepsi and a Twinkie for lunch, we had to eat sandwiches.
And you can guess our mother fixed us a dinner that was different from what other kids had, too.
Mother insisted on knowing where we were at all times. You'd think we were convicts in a prison. She had to know who our friends were, and what we were doing with them.
She insisted that if we said we would be gone for an hour, we would be gone for an hour or less.
We were ashamed to admit it, but she had the nerve to break the Child Labor Laws by making us work. We had to wash the dishes, make the beds, learn to cook, vacuum the floor, do laundry, and all sorts of cruel jobs. I think she would lie awake at night thinking of more things for us to do.
She always insisted on us telling the truth the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. By the time we were teenagers, she could read our minds. Then, life was really tough!
Mother wouldn't let our friends just honk the horn when they drove up. They had to come up to the door so she could meet them. While everyone else could date when they were 12 or 13, we had to wait until we were 16.
Because of our mother we missed out on lots of things other kids experienced. None of us have ever been caught shoplifting, vandalizing other's property or ever arrested for any crime.
It was all her fault. We never got drunk, took up smoking, stayed out all night, or a million other things other kids did.
Sundays were reserved for church, and we never missed once. We knew better than to ask to spend the night with a friend on Saturdays. Now that we have left home, we are all God-fearing, educated, honest, adults.
We are doing our best to be mean parents just like Mom was. I think that is what's wrong with the world today. It just doesn't have enough mean Moms anymore.

Enjoy the little things, for one day, you may look back and realize they were the big things.
-- Robert Brault

May 4, 2008

At my age, I've seen it all, done it all, heard it all. I just can't remember it all.

Why do we call grace amazing? Grace is amazing because it works against the grain of common sense. Hard-nosed common sense will tell you that you are too wrong to meet the standards of a holy God; pardoning grace tells you that it's all right in spite of so much in you that is wrong. --Lewis Smedes

Bill: It's my wife's birthday tomorrow. Last week I asked her what she wanted as a present.
Doug: So what did she ask for?
Bill: She said, "Oh, I don't know, just give me something with
diamonds."
And so that's why I'm giving her a deck of playing cards.

"The more you read and observe about this politics thing, you got to admit that each party is worse than the other. The one that's out always looks the best." -- Will Rogers, Illiterate Digest (1924)

Now Billy, I mean business: how many times do I have to text you!!

Did you know that the screen door can double as a cheese grater?

While politics may be the “fine art of compromise,” the same is not true of religion: the Christian life should be the “fine act of being uncompromising.”

After all the living I’ve done, I have reached an inescapable conclusion and speak as an authority when I say that it is a complete waste of time to make your bed.

How’s your son, Millie?
Oh, He’s at Harvard.
Really, what’s he studying?
No, Dottie - they’re studying him.


Are you interested in making $$$$ fast? Here's an incredibly simple way to do it, and there is nothing to buy, no investment to make, no money to lose! Try it now! Follow this simple procedure:
1) Hold down the shift key.
2) Hit the 4 key four times fast.

It's an old story but the meaning is still true. A very wealthy man donated the money to a college for a new building. During the Depression he was wiped out. He was ridiculed by some friends for having given the building to the college. "That's not the way I see it," he said. "That building is all that's left from my lifetime of work. What I gave away has been saved, what I kept has been lost."

Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just couldn't control himself during a lineup. When detectives asked each man in the lineup to repeat the words, "Give me all your money or I'll shoot," the man shouted, "that's not what I said!"

You need dedication combined with perspiration moving toward a destination to get your ideal realization.

Final Words By Michael Josephson of Character Counts (537.2)
If you knew you were dying, what would your final words be?
I was at a luncheon where more than a dozen highly accomplished people were given two minutes each to answer that question. They were prominent scientists (including a Nobel Prize winner), successful business executives, and noted academics, doctors, lawyers, journalists, and one astronaut. Despite their imposing resumes, not one person made a single reference to their work or vast accomplishments.
It proved the truth of the insight underlying Harold Kushner's statement: "I never met anyone on their deathbed who said, 'I wish I'd spent more time at the office.'"
Our work may be a vital part of our lives, but in the end what matters are people and relationships.
All of the speakers addressed their last words to loved ones--a life partner, child, sibling, or special friend. The words were from the heart, and it was a touching experience. But what struck me most was realizing how unlikely it is that any of us will actually have the opportunity to deliver final words. Death is not likely to be that predictable or efficient.
The fact is, the way we live our life, the choices we make, and our daily words and actions may be the final messages we send to our loved ones. So if there's something you should say--expressing your love or gratitude or maybe regrets for things you did or failed to do about rifts in the relationship--say it now and say it from your heart.
This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts. © 2007 Josephson Institute of Ethics.

"We think of Eternal Life, if we think of it at all, as what happens when life ends. We would do better to think of it as what happens when life begins." - Frederick Buechner
Seen on a church sign: "If evolution is true, how come mothers still have only two hands?"


Serendipity 3, a New York restaurant, offers a $25,000 chocolate sundae called “Frrozen Haute Chocolate,” featuring 28 cocoas, 0.2 ounces of edible gold, served in a goblet lined with edible gold, with an 18-karat gold bracelet with a carat of white diamonds draped around the base of the goblet. The sundae is topped with whipped cream covered with gold and a side of La Madeline au Truffle from Knipschildt Chocolatier, which sells for $2,600 per pound. It is eaten with a gold spoon decorated with white chocolate-covered diamonds.

The cost of feeding, housing and clothing a child born in the year 2007 until his or her 18th birthday is $269,040.

For the first time in history, the national debt will hit $10 trillion this year, even though annual surpluses were so large in 1999 that the Congressional Budget Office predicted it would be paid off in 2006. It now grows at $1.4 billion a day, or about $1 million per minute.

- "Blessed is the man who, having nothing to say, abstains from giving us worthy evidence of the fact." --George Eliot

The safest road to Hell is the gradual one—the gentle slope, soft underfoot, without sudden turnings, without milestones, without signposts." -- C.S. Lewis

"People do not drift toward holiness. Apart from grace-driven effort, people do not gravitate toward godliness, prayer, obedience to Scripture, faith, and delight in the Lord. We drift toward compromise and call it tolerance;
we drift toward disobedience and call it freedom;
we drift toward superstition and call it faith.
We cherish the indiscipline of lost self-control and call it relaxation;
we slouch toward prayerlessness and delude ourselves into thinking we have escaped legalism;
we slide toward godlessness and convince ourselves we have been liberated. -- D.A. Carson

Dolphins are so intelligent that within only a few days of captivity, they can train humans to stand at the edge of the pool and throw them fish.

A Bible Lesson.....
Nine year old Joey, was asked by his mother what he had learned in Sunday school. "Well, Mom, our teacher told us how God sent Moses behind enemy lines on a rescue mission to lead the Israelites out of Egypt. When he got to the Red Sea, he had his engineers build a pontoon bridge and all the people walked across safely. Then he used his walkie - talkie to radio headquarters for reinforcements. They sent bombers to blow up the bridge and all the Israelites were saved."
"Now, Joey, is that *really* what your teacher taught you?"his mother asked.
"Well, no, Mom. But if I told it the way the teacher did, you'd never believe it!"

Ten Commandments
My nephew, who has just started the first grade, was asked to memorize the Ten Commandments. Upon reciting the commandment, "Thou shalt not commit adultery," he was asked what this commandment meant. With absolute seriousness he replied, "That means that you shouldn't want to become an adult."



New Hymn....A child came home from Sunday school and told his mother that he had learned a new song about a cross-eyed bear name "Gladly." It took his mother awhile before she realized that the hymn was really "Gladly, The Cross I'd Bare."

A friend of ours told us of a day when she got so upset with two small preschoolers fighting over a doll that she grabbed the doll and threw it out the window. She then lectured the little children on sharing and on not fighting and was sure when she had finished that she had taught them something.
She had! Later that day, she found the children throwing loaves of bread out the window. Children will always learn more from what they see us do than from what they hear us say!-Linda & Richard Eyre, Teaching Your Children Values

More people have been brought into the church by the kindness of real Christian love than by all the theological arguments in the world, and more people have been driven from the church by the hardness and ugliness of so-called Christianity than by all the doubts in the world. -- William Barclay, Leadership

The number one cause of atheism is Christians. Those who proclaim God with their mouths and deny Him with their lifestyles is what an unbelieving world finds simply unbelievable. -- Karl Rahner, quoted in the Wittenburg Door

MAY YOU FIND .....
May you find serenity and tranquility
in a world you may not always understand.
May you not become too concerned with material matters,
but instead place immeasurable value on the goodness in your heart.
Find time in each day to see beauty and love in the world around you.
Realize that what you feel you lack in one regard
you may be more than compensated for in another.
What you feel you lack in the present
may become one of your strengths in the future.
May you see your future
as one filled with promise and possibility.
Learn to view everything as a worthwhile experience.
May you find enough inner strength
to determine your own worth by yourself,
and not be dependent
on another's judgment of your accomplishments.~~author unknown~~

April 27, 2008

MORNING PRAYER
Dear Lord,
So far today I've done all right. I haven't gossiped, haven't lost my temper, haven't been greedy, grumpy, nasty, selfish or over-indulgent. And I'm really glad about that.

In a few moments, Lord, I'm going to get out of bed, and from then on I'm probably going to need a lot more help. Amen.

Adversity stirs us up and causes us to look at life differently. We are forced to deal with things on a deeper level. Nothing causes "self" to cave in like suffering. And once our religious facade begins to wear thin, God moves in and begins teaching us what real Christlikeness is about. --Charles Stanley

On the Prairie Home Companion, Garrison Keilor was talking about churches not getting along with each other . . . you know how it goes. Then he told this joke:
You know, Ole was shipwrecked once and landed on an island where he spent 15 years all alone! When the rescuers finally found him, he wanted to show them around before he left. "This building here is my house that I built for myself. And this building here is the barn I built so I could farm here on the island. And this building here is the church I built so I could worship God here on the island."
The rescuers asked, "What's that building over there?"
"Oh," said Ole, "that's the church I used to go to."

Shortest fairy tail ever
Once upon a time a man asked a woman to marry him.
She said "NO".
And the man lived happily ever after.

"What am I supposed to do with this?" grumbled a motorist as the policeman handed him a speeding ticket.
"Keep it," the cop said, "when you collect four of them you get a bicycle."

What Are Calories?
Calories are little units that measure how good a particular food tastes.
Fudge, for example, has a great many calories, whereas celery, which is not really a food at all, but a member of the plywood family, provided by Mother Nature so that we would have a way to get onion dip into our mouths at parties, has none.

"Age does not protect you from love but love to some extent protects you from age." -- Jeanne Moreau

"You don't do drugs; drugs do you." -- Unknown

"A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs--jolted by every pebble in the road." -- Henry Ward Beecher
I will give you this as a most certain observation, that there never was anything of false doctrine brought into the church, or anything of false worship imposed upon the church, but either it was by neglecting the Scripture, or by introducing something above the Scripture.
--John Collins


- Being a husband is like any other job. It helps a lot if you like the boss.
- Views expressed by husbands are not necessarily those of the management.
- The honeymoon is over when he no longer smiles gently as he scrapes the burnt toast.

How do you know that cats are sensitive creatures?
They never cry over spilt milk!
Why was the cat so small?
Because it only ate condensed milk!

My church welcomes all denominations, but mainly they prefer tens and twenties.

- There would be fewer problems with children if they had to chop wood to keep the television set going.

"The fault finder will find faults even in Paradise." -- Henry David Thoreau

"Every worthwhile accomplishment has a price tag attached to it. The question is always whether you are willing to pay the price to attain it--in hard work, sacrifice, patience, faith, and endurance." -- John C. Maxwell

"The highest reward for your toil is not what you get for it, but what you become by it." -- John Ruskin

“Do what is right, not what you think the high headquarters wants or what you think will make you look good." -- Norman Schwarzkopf, General

"The world measures greatness by money, or eloquence, or intellectual skill, or even by prowess on the field of battle. But here is the Lord's standard: 'Whosoever shall humble himself as this little child, the same is the greatest in the Kingdom of Heaven' (Matthew 18:4)." -- J.H. Jowett


Seven [more] Deadly Sins
Truth, if it becomes a weapon against persons.
Beauty, if it becomes vanity.
Love, if it becomes possessive.
Loyalty, if it becomes blind, careless trust.
Tolerance, if it becomes indifference.
Self-confidence, if it becomes arrogance.
Faith, if it becomes self-righteous.

The Bible was the first book ever printed. In 1454, Johannes Gutenberg invented the "type mold" printing press and began to print the Bible. Life magazine called this the single most important event of the second millennium.

Stephen Langton first divided the Bible into chapters in 1228.
The Old Testament was first divided by verses in 1448 and the New Testament in 1551.

The first English Bible translation was initiated by John Wycliffe in 1382 and completed by John Purvey in 1388.

It takes about 70 hours to read the entire Bible.

About 170,000 Bibles are distributed each day in the United States.
The Bible is the best selling best-selling book of all time.

"How wonderful that God personally cares about those things that worry us and prey upon our thoughts. He cares about them more than we care about them. Not a single nagging, aching, worrisome, stomach-tensing, blood-pressure-raising thought escapes His notice." -- Charles Swindoll

The door of hell does not open from the inside.
God formed us. Sin deformed us. Christ transforms us.


A sick man turned to his doctor as he was preparing to leave the examination room and said, "Doctor, I am afraid to die. Tell me what lies on the other side."
Very quietly, the doctor said, "I don't know."
"You don't know? You, a Christian man, do not know what is the other side?"
The doctor was holding the handle of the door; on the other side came a sound of scratching and whining, and as he opened the door, a dog sprang into the room and
leaped on him with an eager show of gladness.
Turning to the patient, the doctor said, "Did you notice my dog? He's never been in this room before. He didn't know what was inside. He knew nothing except that his master was here, and when the door opened, he sprang in without fear. I know little of what is on the other side of death, but I do know one thing... I know my Master is there and that is enough.

According to the obituary notices, a mean and unimportant person never dies.

Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.-- John Benfield

"The Winner's Creed" and may this creed inspire new thoughts and visions of
greatness in our lives:
"If you think you are beaten, you are.
If you think you dare not, you don't.
If you like to win, but you think you can't
It is almost certain you won't.
If you think you'll lose, you're lost.
For out of the world we find
Success begins with a person's will --
It's all in the state of mind
If you think you're outclassed, you are.
You've got to think high to rise.
You've got to be sure of yourself before
You can ever win the prize.
Life's battles don't always go
To the stronger woman or man,
But sooner or later the one who wins
Is the one WHO THINKS HE CAN."
-- Anonymous

April 13, 2008

The shepherd is responsible for the sheep; not the sheep for the shepherd. The worst of it is, that we sometimes think we are both the shepherd and the sheep, and that we have to both guide and follow. Happy are we when we realize that he is responsible, that he goes before and goodness and mercy shall follow. --Streams in the Desert

God controls the wind, but we adjust the sails.

When I tried to propose marriage to my girlfriend the other night, she told me to log onto eBay and put my bid in.



When the door of happiness closes, another opens, but often times we look so long at the closed door that we don't see the one which has been opened for us.
It is a fact of Christian experience that life is a series of troughs and peaks. In his efforts to get permanent possession of a soul, God relies on the troughs more than the peaks. And some of his special favorites have gone through longer and deeper troughs than anyone else.
-- Peter Marshall

I don’t think about how sorry my income is until tax time when they start calling it my gross earnings
Rich in God, rich in good.
“All that is not eternal in value, is eternally out of date.” (C S Lewis)
Golfer to Caddy. What do I need to shoot to finish this golf tournament in the lead?
Caddy. All the other players.
Sports is a microcosm of society. If you know where we are in sports, you kind of know where the world is. Is the world getting more unpredictable? Is it getting more aggressive? Yeah, so is sports. It’s getting much more vulgar. Nobody wants to play by the rules anymore. Look at the steroids. Look at everything that goes on - that’s exactly what’s going on in the world.” It is hard to love sports anymore because of its selfish interests, egocentrism, emerging lawlessness, and lavish mentality. Ah, but the people love to have it so.
Lord, I have been so defeated by circumstances. I have felt like an animal trapped in a corner with nowhere to flee. Where are You in all this, Lord? The night is dark. I cannot feel Your presence. Help me to know that the darkness is really "Shade of Your hand, outstretched caressingly"; that the "hemming in" is Your doing. Perhaps there was no other way You could get my full attention, no other way I would allow You to demonstrate what You can do in my life. I see now that the emptier my cup is, the more space there is to receive Your love and supply. --Catherine Marshall, "Adventures in Prayer"

Riding Dead Horses
Conventional wisdom tells us that, "When you discover that you are riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to dismount." However, in institutionalized organizations
scientifically advanced strategies are often employed by doing the following:
* Buying a stronger whip
* Changing riders
* Appointing a committee to see how other cultures ride dead horses
* Lowering the standards so that dead horses can be included
* Reclassifying the dead horse as "living impaired"
* Hiring outside contractors to ride the dead horse
* Harnessing several dead horses together to increase speed
* Promoting the dead horse to a supervisory position.

"God, grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to change the one I can, and the wisdom to know it's me!" -- Cited by Andy Chap


Help Thyself
Did you hear about the teacher who was helping one of her kindergarten students put his boots on? He asked for help and she could see why. With her pulling and him pushing, the boots still didn't want to go on. When the second boot was on, she had worked up a sweat. She almost whimpered when the little boy said, "Teacher, they're on the wrong feet." She looked and, sure enough, they were.
It wasn't any easier pulling the boots off than it was putting them on. She managed to keep her cool as together they worked to get the boots back on--this time on the right feet. He then announced, "These aren't my boots."
She bit her tongue rather than get right in his face and scream, "Why didn't you say so?" like she wanted to. Once again, she struggled to help him pull the ill-fitting
boots off. He then said, "They're my brother's boots. My Mom made me wear them."
She didn't know if she should laugh or cry. She mustered up the grace to wrestle the boots on his feet again. She said, "Now, where are your mittens?" He said, "I stuffed them in the toes of my boots."
I can't help but wonder how many of my problems are either caused or greatly increased because of my foolishness or what I have done!

"You were born rich with 18 billion bountiful, beautiful, totally available and in all probability under-used brain cells awaiting your desire, decision and directional
compass to take you onward, upward, goodward and Godward."
Our Greatest Wealth
We are born with two eyes in front because we must not always look behind, but see what lies ahead beyond ourselves.
We are born to have two ears -- one left, one right -- so we can hear both sides, collect both the compliments and criticisms, to see which are right.
We are born with a brain concealed in a skull... then no matter how poor we are, we are still rich, for no one can steal what our brain contains, packing in more jewels and rings than you can think.
We are born with two eyes, two ears, but one mouth... for the mouth is a sharp weapon. It can hurt, flirt, and kill. Remember our motto: talk less, listen and see more.
We are born with only one heart... deep in our ribs it reminds us to appreciate and give love from deep within.

April 6, 2008

Did you ever notice: The Roman Numerals for forty (40) are " XL."

The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble.

The beginning of sin is sweet; its end is bitter. -- Japanese Proverb

People don't like to look dumpy in their own snapshots, which is why my husband, a professional photographer, gets a lot of requests asking him to retouch photos. You know, erase the crow's-feet, lop off the love handles. So I wasn't surprised when one woman, pointing to a family portrait, asked him, "Can you take 30 pounds off me?" until she added, "And put it on my sister?"

When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her out to some place expensive................... So I took her to a gas station.

Is it true that the only difference between a yard sale and a
trash pickup is how close to the road the stuff is placed?

The next time you feel like complaining, remember:
Your garbage disposal probably eats better than thirty percent of the people in this world.

There's nothing more optimistic than a dog under the dinner table."

"Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator."

I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones. -- Albert Einstein

Be ye fishers of men: You catch 'em, He'll clean 'em.

Becoming aware of my character defects leads me to the next step--blaming my parents.

Cannot find REALITY.SYS. Universe halted.

Car sickness is the feeling you get when the monthly car payment is due.

Americans consume almost 21 million barrels of oil a day, a quarter of the world total of 84 million barrels a day, reports the International Energy Agency. But China is now second at 6.4 million barrels a day, and its demand could double by 2020

“When a train goes through a tunnel and it gets dark, you don't throw away the ticket and jump off. You sit still and trust the engineer.” Corrie Ten Boom

Honey bees tap two million flowers to make one pound of honey.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
The only difference between catsup and ketchup is what brand you buy.
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Approximately 2.19 billion Oscar Mayer Bologna sandwiches are eaten each year. That means over 6 million are eaten every day, and 69 sandwiches are eaten every second.
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At an estimated population of 40 million, there are more
than twice as many kangaroos as people in Australia.
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Elephants are the only animals with four knees.
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A cow will have a bowel movement an average of 16 times a day.
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A hummingbird weighs less than a penny.
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Yankee Stadium opened on April 18, 1923. On that day, in a game against Boston, Babe Ruth hit the first home run.
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The world's largest herb is the banana.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Half of the 2.4 million
pounds of peanuts consumed in America yearly are eaten
as peanut butter.
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Warner Communications paid $28 million for the copyright to the song
"Happy Birthday."
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In a day, an elephant can drink 80 gallons of water.
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Bakers and Cooks
Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis. Most of them make doughnuts unless they get tired of the hole thing. A good baker will usually rise to the occasion; it's the yeast he can do. Like bakers, cooks have mushroom for improvement. But with cheese, they make some grate things.


If at first you don't succeed, shouldn't you try doing it like your wife told you to do it?

I told my wife she'd have to make my paycheck go further, so.....she took it to Hawaii.

Show me a good loser.... and I'll show you a fellow playing golf with his boss.

My brother is so vain, he joined the Navy so the world could see him!

My husband is so thin, when he wears a red necktie he looks like a thermometer.

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

The simple act of sitting down around a table is something a lot of people don't find particularly important - but for Christians, the shared supper is a vital aspect of spiritual life.

"The Scriptures speak of three kinds of table fellowship that Jesus keeps with his own: daily fellowship at table, the table fellowship of the Lord's Supper, and the final table fellowship in the kingdom of God. But in all three, the one thing that counts is that 'their eyes were opened, and they knew him.'

"The fellowship of the table teaches Christians that here they still eat the perishable bread of the earthly pilgrimage. But if they share this bread with one another, they shall also one day receive the imperishable bread together in the Father's house."

March 30, 2008

Ants in the Pants of Faith
Whether your faith is that there is a God or that there is not a God, if you don't have any doubts you are either kidding yourself or asleep. Doubts are the ants in the pants of faith. They keep it awake and moving. - Frederick Buechner

A New Shalom
When Jesus appeared to the disciples, his greeting was, "Peace be unto you." The Hebrew word shalom, for "peace," is a most comprehensive word, covering the full realm of relationships in daily life and expressing an ideal state of life. The word suggests the fullness of well-being and harmony untouched by ill fortune. The word as a blessing is a prayer for the best that God can give to enable a person to complete one's life with happiness and a natural death. If the concept of shalom became all too casual and light-hearted with no more significance than a passing greeting, Jesus came to give it new meaning. At Bethlehem God announced that peace would come through the gift of God's unique Son. The mission and ministry of our Lord made it quite
clear that Jesus had come to introduce the rule of God and to order peace for the world.
Harry N. Huxhold, Which Way To Jesus?

You can't have everything. Where would you put it? -Steven Wright

Human beings are the only creatures that allow their children to come back home. -Bill Cosby
"Hors D'oeuvres - A sandwich cut into 20 pieces."


What a hotel we're staying at! The towels are so big and fluffy, you can hardly close your suitcase."
The town I grew up in was so small, the road map was actual size.
Question. What did the buffalo say to his boy going off to school every morning?
Answer. Bison.

A Few Ideas about Joy:
**Joy is distinctly a Christian word and a Christian thing. It is the reverse of happiness. Happiness is the result of what happens of an agreeable sort. Joy has its springs deep down inside. And that spring never runs dry, no matter what happens. Only Jesus gives that joy. He had joy, singing its music within, even under the shadow of the cross. --Samuel Dickey Gordon (1859-1936)

**Easter can be described in many ways, but joy is one adjective that is it full of. Understand this: the Stoic bears, the Epicurean seeks to enjoy, the Buddhist and Hindu stand apart disillusioned, the Muslim submits, but only the Christian exults in joy. And that is the message of Easter!


A Reflection about the “open tomb” (From Max Lucado, shared by permission.)
“Why did the angel move the stone? Was the death conqueror so weak that he couldn’t push away a rock? Listen to what the angel says: “Come and see the place where his body was.”
The stone was moved--not for Jesus--but for the women; not so Jesus could come out, but so the women could see in! Mary looks at Mary and Mary is grinning the same grin she had when the bread and fish kept coming out of the basket.
“Go quickly and tell his followers, ‘Jesus has risen from the dead. He is going into Galilee ahead of you, and you will see him there.’” Yet one surprise awaits them....
“Suddenly, Jesus met them and said, ‘Greetings.’ The women came up to him, took hold of his feet, and worshiped him. Then Jesus said to them, ‘don’t be afraid.’
Never let an open tomb scare you. As a Christian you can look right in for nothing will be there--nothing of importance. The soul is with God and the glory of Easter is now come full circle!

Women blink twice as often as men.
The average person's skin weighs twice as much as the brain.

When you are looking at someone you love, your pupils dilate. .
. . .they do the same when you are looking at someone you hate!

✓ Thomas Jefferson, a great man, nevertheless could not accept the miraculous elements in Scripture. He edited his own special version of the Bible in which all references to the supernatural were deleted. Jefferson, in editing the Gospels, confined himself solely to the moral teachings of Jesus. The closing words of Jefferson's Bible are these: "There laid they Jesus and rolled a great stone at the mouth of the sepulchre and departed." Thank God that is not the way the story really ends!

The Bible can keep you away from sin; and sin can keep you away from the Bible..


✓ A workman of the great chemist Michael Faraday accidentally knocked a silver cup into a solution of acid. It was promptly dissolved, eaten up by the acid. The workman was terribly disturbed by the accident. The chemist came in and put a chemical into the jar, and shortly all the silver was precipitated to the bottom. The shapeless mass was lifted out and sent to the silversmith, and the cup was restored to its original shape. If a human genius can do a things like this, why should we doubt that God can raise the dead?
Our minister announced that the cost to attend a special church social event would be six dollars per person. "However, if you're over 65," he said, " the price will be only $5.50."
From the back of the congregation, a woman's voice rang out, "Do you really think I'd give you that information for only 50 cents?"

Our Lord has written the promise of the Resurrection, not in books alone, but in every leaf in springtime. --Martin Luther

IRS sounds like Toys r Us

Thought for the week: "Unforgiveness is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die." -- Unknown

Thought for today: "The empty tomb proves the value of Christianity; the empty church denies it."

I've started an exercise program. I do 20 sit-ups each morning. That may not sound like a lot, but you can only hit that snooze button so many times.

Ernest Vincent Wright wrote a novel, "Gadsby", which contains over 50,000 words -- none of them with the letter E!
Of all the words in the English language, the word 'set' has the most definitions!

Good news bad news, worse news
The good news is that there is baseball in heaven.
The bad news is that you're playing tomorrow.
The worse news is that you're playing on the visiting team.

“A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty." -- Sir Winston Churchill

"The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance; the wise grows it under his feet." -- James Oppenheim

"When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us." -- Alexander Graham Bell

☼ The Gospels do not explain the Resurrection; the Resurrection explains the Gospels. Belief in the Resurrection is not an attachment to the Christian faith; it is the Christian faith. -- John S. Whale


BE THANKFUL
Be thankful that you don't already have everything you desire.
If you did, what would there be to look forward to?

Be thankful when you don't know something,
for it gives you the opportunity to learn.

Be thankful for the difficult times.
During those times you grow.

Be thankful for your limitations,
Because they give you opportunities for improvement.

Be thankful for each new challenge,
Because it will build your strength and character.

Be thankful for your mistakes.
They will teach you valuable lessons.

Be thankful when you're tired and weary,
Because it means you've made a effort.

It's easy to be thankful for the good things.
A life of rich fulfillment comes to those who are also thankful for the setbacks.

Gratitude can turn a negative into a positive.
Find a way to be thankful for your troubles, and they can become your blessings.

TO HELP MAKE YOURSELF HAPPY Here is what "happy thinkers" do:
1). They saturate their mind with God's promises and stubbornly resist entertaining self-criticizing thoughts.
2). They count their many blessings, and are grateful for them all.
3). Knowing God is on their side, they trust God implicitly and pray persistently.
4). They are optimistic knowing that "Nothing is impossible with God!"
5). They choose a positive attitude even when all seems to be going wrong.
6). Every day they encourage others knowing that this is one of the bridges to success. For the flowers of today are the seeds of encouragement they planted in all of their yesterdays.

NICE DOCTOR
Because of an ear infection, Little Johnny, had to go to the pediatrician. The doctor directed his comments and questions to Little Johnny in a professional manner. When he asked Little Johnny, "Is there anything you are allergic to?" Little Johnny nodded and whispered in his ear. Smiling, the pediatrician wrote out a prescription and handed it to Little Johnny's mother. She tucked it into her purse without looking at it.
As the pharmacist filled the order, he remarked on the unusual food-drug interaction Little Johnny must have. Little Johnny's mother looked puzzled until he showed her the label on the bottle. As per the doctor's instructions, it read, "Do not take with broccoli."

"Early to bed and early to rise -- till you get enough money to do otherwise." - Peter's Almanac
When life caves in, you do not need reasons - you need comfort.
You do not need answers - you need someone.
And Jesus does not come to to us with an explanation -
He comes to us with His presence.

Many people readily give God credit, but few cheerfully give Him cash.



"A man who works with his hands is a laborer; a man who works with his hands and his brain is a craftsman; but a man who works with his hands and his brain and his heart is an artist." -- Louis Nizer

My husband, a big-time sports fan, was watching a football game with our grandchildren. He had just turned 75 and was feeling a little wistful. "You know," he said to our grandson, Nick, "it's not easy getting old. I guess I'm in the fourth quarter now." "Don't worry, Grandpa," Nick said cheerily. "Maybe you'll go into overtime."
Spray a bit of perfume on the lightbulb in any room to create a lovely light scent in each room when the light is turned on.

Place fabric softener sheets in dresser drawers and your clothes will Smell freshly washed for weeks to come. You can also do this with towels and linen.

Candles will last a lot longer if placed in the freezer for at least 3 hours prior to burning.

✓ In a cemetery in Hanover, Germany, is a grave on which were placed huge slabs of granite and marble cemented together and fastened with heavy steel clasps. It belongs to a woman who did not believe in the resurrection of the dead. Yet strangely, she directed in her will that her grave be made so secure that if there were a resurrection, it could not reach her. On the marker were inscribed these words: "This burial place must never be opened." In time, a seed, covered over by the stones, began to grow. Slowly it pushed its way through the soil and out from beneath them. As the trunk enlarged, the great slabs were gradually shifted so that the steel clasps were wrenched from their sockets. A tiny seed had become a tree that had pushed aside the stones.
The dynamic life force contained in that little seed is a faint reflection of the tremendous power of God's creative word that someday will call to life the bodies of all who are in their graves. He will also bring back every person drowned at sea, cremated, or destroyed in some other way. This is no problem to the One who made something out of nothing when He spoke the universe into existence. Unbelief cannot deter the resurrection. But faith in the risen Christ opens the door to blessings that His resurrection guarantees -- a glorious new spiritual body and a home in heaven. In new bodies we will be reunited with saved loved ones to live with Jesus throughout all eternity.

The simplest toy, which even the youngest child can operate, is called a grandparent. --Sam Levenson

42.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.

A day without sunshine is like, well, night.

*One of the things I didn't want to be when I grew up was wrinkled.

"The story of JOY is not a story of numbers. It's the story of individual lives changed one at a time. Every number represents a real person transformed by the power of Jesus Christ. We simply start where people are, teach them God's purpose for their lives, and the Holy Spirit does the rest."

I had a piece of Carefree Sugarless gum and I was still worried

March 23, 2008 Easter

"A loving person lives in a loving world. A hostile person lives in a hostile world. Everyone you meet is your mirror."

Lead your life so you won't be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip.


If your wife doesn't feel well, gentlemen, do what I do to speed her recovery ... offer to help with the housework. If you don't think there's such a thing as a miracle recovery, you ought to see my wife get well again every time I start to vacuum the windows.

A woman repeated a bit of gossip about a neighbor. Within a few days the whole community knew the story. The person it concerned was deeply hurt and offended. Later the woman responsible for spreading the rumor learned that it was completely untrue. She was very sorry and went to a wise old sage to find out what she could do to repair the damage.
"Go to the marketplace," he said, "and purchase a chicken, and have it killed. Then on your way home, pluck its feathers and drop them one by one along the road."
Although surprised by this advice, the woman did what she was told.
The next day the wise man said, "Now go and collect all those feathers you dropped yesterday and bring them back to me."
The woman followed the same road, but to her dismay, the wind had blown the feathers all away. After searching for hours, she returned with only three in her hand.
"You see," said the old sage, "it's easy to drop them, but it's impossible to get them back. So it is with gossip. It doesn't take much to spread a rumor, but once you do, you can never completely undo the wrong."

Secrets Of Great Golf
A reporter was interviewing Jack Nicklaus. He said, "Jack, you are spectacular, your name is synonymous with the game of golf. You really know your way around the course. What is your secret?"
To which Jack replied, "The holes are numbered!"

All I NEED TO KNOW ABOUT LIFE I LEARNED FROM THE EASTER BUNNY
Don't put all of your eggs in one basket
Everyone needs a friend who is all ears
There's no such thing as too much candy
All work & no play can make you a basket case
Everyone is entitled to a bad hare day
Let happy thoughts multiply like rabbits
Keep your paws off other people's jellybeans
Good things come in small sugar coated packages
The grass is always greener in someone else's basket
An Easter bonnet can tame even the wildest hare
To show your true colors you have to come out of your shell
The best things in life are still sweet and gooey
A BLESSED Easter!
I cannot control the wind.... but I can adjust my sails.

Christ invites you to come but commands you to go.


The quickest way to get people interested in a project is to tell them it is none of their business.

Life, like a mirror, never gives back more than we put into it.
I can’t help but be concerned when my cereal box has a disclaimer on the back that says: “This cereal is well within the government guidelines for maximum acceptable radioactivity.”
God calls men when they are busy, Satan calls men when they are idle.
The Christian’s business is to populate heaven and depopulate hell.
Christ’s last act was to win a soul; His last command was to win souls; His last prayer was forgiveness for a soul.
The bringing of one soul to Jesus is the highest calling in life.
Faith in a creed can go stale, faith in Christ can be fresh every day.
I couldn’t stand my teenage son’s long hair any longer so I dragged him to the barber and told him to shave away. When he was done, I realized I had been raising someone’s else’s child.
Your standard of giving is far more important than your standard of living.
At the scene of a bank heist, the police chief ordered all the exits sealed off. But the perpetrators got away. “How could they get away if you sealed off all the exits?” he asked the policemen who had cordoned off the area. “Maybe they went out an entrance,” one replied.
Would you like to play with our new dog? He looks playful but does he bite? That’s what we want to find out.
When the Christian life becomes a life style and no longer a relationship with a Person - rather than growing in the grace and knowledge of the Savior, we will develop in the art of refining, polishing, and perfecting the flesh. Then we can have the programs and activities, methods and formulas, strategies and procedures, systems and theologies, political involvement and community service…religious causes…"how-to" seminars and self-help books…and even outstanding character qualities—all without Christ as our sufficiency! Our flesh is very creative and knows how to make itself appear and act spiritual, but it is still the flesh, and it is rotten to the core!

We do not laugh because we are happy. But rather, we are happy because we laugh.
The happiest people alive are those who know how to laugh often and well.

There are times when I think the whole world is against me. Then I come to my senses and realize that isn't true....some countries are neutral.

JOY 12
Just wanted you to know I have entered the snapdragon part of my life. Part of me has snapped........... and the rest of me is draggin.....
"Reading without reflection is like eating without digesting." -- Edmund Burke

If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners. -- Johnny Carson
"What is important is not what happens to us, but how we respond to what happens to us." -- Jean-Paul Sartre

"What a world this would be if we could forget our troubles as easily as we forget our blessings." – Unknown
"What the world throws at us as temptation, God uses as a test to transform us." -- Tod Bolsinger
"To sit back and let fate play its hand out and never influence it is not the way man was meant to operate." -- John Glenn, astronaut
"Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off the goal." -- Henry Ford, Ford Motor Founder
"Maturity is the ability to do a job whether or not you are supervised, to carry money without spending it, and to bear an injustice without wanting to get even." -- Ann Landers

March 16, 2008

Because Easter Sunday is next weekend, The National Clothing Retailers association has come out with a public warning about how chocolate can affect different garments. They said, "Warning, chocolate may cause your cloths to shrink."

Even though a mosquito beats its wings 600 times per second it only travels about one mile per hour. That's because stopping to annoy people tends to slow you down.

For God so loved the world that he didn't send a committee
I called the police and told them I lost my parakeet and asked them what could be done. They said they would notify the Air Force.

What do frogs wear in the summer? Answer. Open toad sandals.

“Hit the ball over the fence and you can take your time going around the bases.” (John W Raper)
Much of the trouble in our day is from saying “yes” too quickly and “no” not quickly enough.
One of the great advantages of living in a democracy is that we have complete control over how we pay our taxes - cash, check, money order, or electronic transfer.

“Some want to live within the sound of church or chapel bells, I want to run a rescue shop within a yard of hell.”

Jesus was never afraid to step on someone’s toes.

There is not much I can do when folks gossip about me. But there is a great deal I can do when people gossip to me.
(Easter Thought.) When we suffer, we sense the comfort of Christ’s presence. When He suffered, He suffered alone and without comfort.
The angels were bickering about the presidential elections on earth. So the lead angel went to the Lord and asked Him to settle it. “Who,” he asked, “is Your choice, Sir?” God was quick to answer: “None of the below.”

A man is entitled to 16 wives. Do the math: four better, four worse, four richer, four poorer.


Q. What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible?
A. Jehovah drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden in a Fury.
A. David's Triumph was heard throughout the land.
A. Honda...because the apostles were all in one Accord.
A. 2 Cor. 48 describes going out in service in a Volkswagen Beetle:"We are pressed in every way, but not cramped beyond movement."

Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says "I've lost my electron." The other says "Are you sure?" The first replies "Yes, I'm positive."

Thought for today: The stone at the tomb of Jesus was a pebble to the Rock of Ages inside.

I dreamed I was in the middle of a scorching desert and dying of thirst. I kept pushing on toward a sign in the distance, which, when I finally got to it, said “To know more about water, check out our website at …..”

I was awakened by my wife who said there was an intruder and she thought he was stealing her brownies and pies. ”Should I call the police or the ambulance?” I asked. The intruder was never apprehended and I’m still recovering.


Funbrain.com http://www.funbrain.com/
Funbrain claims to be the Internet's #1 education site for kindergarten through 12, kids and teachers. All games are Web-based and are grouped into arcades, Math, Fun for playtime and Games for the younger set under 6; there are also classic Funbrains as well as an Entertainment section. Activities can also be located by section, 'Art, Geography, History, Languages, Math, Music, Science and Technology,' all subdivided into grade level (don't be fooled, the lower grades can be as challenging as the higher ones!). We older generation never had learning made so much fun but sites like Funbrain can bring out the kid in all of us!


We are all faced with a series of great opportunities, brilliantly disguised as unsolvable problems. Unsolvable without God’s wisdom, that is. With His wisdom, they are changed to great opportunities. That change depends on our perspective. We are faced with a problem that seems to have no human solution. And perhaps it doesn’t. There is no end in view. It has all the marks of an endlessly impossible situation. But I have found this is the platform upon which God does His greatest work. The more impossible the situation, the greater God accomplishes His work. --Charles Swindoll

On My Account
In a Peanuts cartoon, Charlie Brown and Linus are standing next to each other, staring at a star-filled sky. "Would you like to see a falling star?" Charlie Brown asks Linus.
"Sure..." Linus responds. "Then again, I don't know," he adds, after some thought. "I'd hate to have it fall just on my account."
In the book Parables of Peanuts, Robert Short uses this cartoon to make the point that a star did fall on our account. God came down to us as Jesus: like a lamb led to slaughter, He died on our account. What humility. What love and, oh, what he accomplished there.
Charles Schultz, Peanuts, quoted by Robert Short

Mob Mentality
I’ve always thought that Jesus got himself crucified because he refused to be the kind of Messiah the people expected him to be. They wanted a revolutionary, didn’t they? Someone who would come in and free the Jews from Roman occupation. Someone who could be a grand king in the line of David, their favorite king of history. I thought that they just didn’t get what kind of Messiah Jesus was saying he was. I thought it was a case of mistaken identity. Jesus is not who they, or who we, thought he was. But if this were the case – if they wanted Jesus to be a certain kind of Messiah – if they were trying to force his hand – wouldn’t they realize sooner than his crucifixion that Jesus was not responding in the way they had hoped? If Jesus wasn’t the Messiah they were looking for, couldn’t they just ignore him? Couldn’t they just let him fade out of focus? Why did they act with such violence? Why was there no voice – no voice – standing up as an advocate for Jesus – no one who tried to save him from this death?
The more I think about it, the more I mull over the events of Jesus’ life in my mind, the more convinced I become that the reason we go so quickly from the crowds welcoming Jesus to the crowds yelling for his death is because they knew, and we know, exactly who Jesus is. For once, it seems everyone in the story is united in their actions towards Jesus. All of them, all of them, are united in their abandonment and rejection of Jesus. It is not just the Jews who act against him, but also the Romans. Not just the religious leaders, but also the common ‘regular’ people. Not just Judas, who we can readily write off as corrupted and evil, but also Peter, the faithful disciple, and the others, who never even get mentioned during all of Jesus’ trial, beatings, and crucifixion. Not one who Jesus healed, not one who Jesus forgave, not one who Jesus broke bread with speaks for him, acts on his behalf.


Eight Days
Eight days changed the world. These eight days have been the topic of a million of publications, countless debates, and thousands of films. These eight days have inspired the greatest painters, the most skilled architects, and the most gifted musicians. To try and calculate the cultural impact of these eight days is impossible. But harder still would be an attempt to account for the lives of men and women who have been transformed by them. And yet these eight days as they played out in Jerusalem were of little significance to anyone but a few people involved. What happened on those eight days? During the next eight Sundays of Lent and Easter we will look at these eight days in depth but for now let’s summarize:
1. On Sunday the first of the eight days, Jesus rode into Jerusalem on a donkey to the shouts of Hosanna, fulfilling an old prophecy in Zechariah 9:9.
2. On Monday he walked into the Jerusalem Temple overturning tables where money exchange occurred, Roman drachmas were being exchanged for Jewish shekels. Roman coins were not allowed. The image of Caesar was a violation of the second commandment. But the Temple authorities were using the Commandment as means to cheat the people and making the Temple a place of profit rather than a place of prayer.
3. On Tuesday Jesus taught in parables, warned the people against the Pharisees, and predicted the destruction of the Temple.
4. On Wednesday, the fourth day, we know nothing. The Gospel writers are silent. Perhaps it was a day of rest for him and his weary and worried disciples.
5. On Thursday, in an upper room, Jesus celebrated the Passover meal with his disciples. But he gave it a new meaning. No longer would his followers remember the Exodus from Egypt in the breaking of bread. They would remember his broken body and shed blood. Later that evening in the Garden of Gethsemane he agonized in prayer at what lay ahead for him.
6. On Friday, the fifth day, following betrayal, arrest, imprisonment, desertion, false trials, denial, condemnation, beatings and sentencing, Jesus carried his own cross to “The Place of the Skull,” where he was crucified with two other prisoners.
7. On Saturday, Jesus lay dead in a tomb bought by a rich man named Joseph.
8. On Sunday, his Passion was over, the stone had been rolled away. Jesus was alive. He appeared to Mary, to Peter, to two disciples on the road to Emmaus, and to the 11 disciples gathered in a locked room. His resurrection was established as a fact.


In the midst of a generation screaming for answers, Christians are stuttering.
—Howard Hendricks.

Celebrity Jesus
Can you imagine if Jesus had been treated like a 20th-century celebrity as he rode into Jerusalem?
• Wolf Blitzer might have reported on rumors that Jesus planned to disrupt Temple business.
• Pundits would have argued about who he "really" was.
• Gail Sheehy would undoubtedly have written a psychological profile for Vanity Fair.
• Some tabloid would investigate Jesus' relationship with "the woman at the well."
• There would be in-depth analysis by cult specialists and modern-day Pharisees on MSNBC.
• A council of church officials would be in place to study the authenticity of Jesus' feeding the multitudes and walking on water.
• As he entered the dusty city, hundreds if not thousands would have snapped their throwaway Kodaks, and pointed their videocams while Katie Couric, along with Willard Scott, making a special appearance, would stand by to offer color commentary.

The Origins of the Palm Branches
The palm branches and the shouts harked back a century-and-a-half to the triumph of the Maccabees and the overthrow of the brutal Antiochus Epiphanes, the Saddam Hussein of his day. In 167 B.C. Antiochus had precipitated a full-scale revolt when, having already forbidden the practice of Judaism on pain of death, he set up, right smack in the middle of the Jewish temple, an altar to Zeus and sacrificed a pig on it. Hard to imagine a greater slap in the religious face to good Jews. Stinging from this outrage, an old man of priestly stock named Mattathias rounded up his five sons, all the weapons he could find, and a guerrilla war was launched. Old Mattathias soon died, but his son Judas, called Maccabeus (which means "hammer"), kept on and within three years was able to cleanse and to rededicate the desecrated temple.
"Mission Accomplished?" Well, it would be a full 20 years more of fighting, after Judas and a successor brother, Jonathan, had died in battle, that a third brother, Simon, took over, and through his diplomacy achieved Judean independence. That would begin a century of Jewish sovereignty.
Of course, there was great celebration. "On the twenty-third day of the second month, in the one hundred and seventy-first year, the Jews entered Jerusalem with praise and palm branches, and with harps and cymbals and stringed instruments, and with hymns and songs, because a great enemy had been crushed and removed from Israel.” So says the account in I Maccabees - a story as well known to the crowd in Jerusalem that day as George Washington and the defeat of the British is known to us.
Lest we be too critical of Jerusalem, ask yourself this question: What city even today would not be shaken by Jesus' entry into it? Imagine Jesus entering New York, Belgrade, Washington, or even Memphis. Oh, I'm sure we'd welcome him with our hosannas - at first, anyway. We'd line the streets and strike up the band and have a grand parade right down Main Street. But I'm equally sure that, by the end of the week, we'd have him nailed to a cross, too. Why? Because the Kingdom Jesus came to establish still threatens the kingdoms of this world -- your kingdom and mine -- the kingdoms where greed, power, and lust rule instead of grace, mercy, and peace. And who among us really wants to surrender our lives to that Kingdom and that King?


Years ago, CBS had a popular little series called Gilligan's Island. Most of
us watched it. There is, however, a dark secret about this "comedy" you may
never have realized. The island is a direct representation of HELL.
Nobody on the island wants to be there, yet none are able to leave. Each one
of the characters represents one of the 7 deadly sins:
Ginger represents LUST - she wears skimpy outfits, is obsessed with her
looks, and is a borderline nymphomaniac.
Mary Ann represents ENVY - she is jealous of Ginger's beauty.
The Professor represents PRIDE - he is an annoying know-it-all. Mr. Howell represents GREED - no explanation needed.
Mrs. Howell represents SLOTH - she has never lifted a finger to help on any
of their escape plans.
The Skipper represents two sins: GLUTTONY - again, no explanation needed and
ANGER - he violently hits Gilligan on each show.
This leaves Gilligan. Gilligan is the person who put them there. He prevents
them from leaving by foiling all of their escape plots. Also, it is HIS island. Therefore, Gilligan is SATAN. Crazy? Well, he does wear red in every episode!.


The 50-50-90 rule. Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.

March 9, 2008

Today is the Fifth Sunday in Lent---just one week before Palm Sunday and Holy Week begins. We have considered the reality of sin and what it has done to us. We have seen how the Lord sought out His people with the Law and the prophets to call them to Him. Today we see the power with which the Lord comes to our aid. The raising of Lazarus prefigures the resurrection of our Lord and encourages us to believe that God has the power to break the bonds of sin and death and lead us to everlasting life.

ALWAYS GIVE 100% AT WORK: 12% Monday, 23% Tuesday, 40% Wednesday,
20% Thursday, 5% Friday.


HOW TO SPELL POTATO
If GH stands for P as in Hiccough
If OUGH stands for O as in Dough
If PHTH stands for T as in Phthisis
If EIGH stands for A as in Neighbour
If TTE stands for T as in Gazette
If EAU stands for O as in Plateau
The right way to spell POTATO shoud be GHOUGHPHTHEIGHTTEEAU

During the minister's prayer one Sunday, there was a loud whistle from one of the back pews. Gary's mother was horrified. She pinched him into silence, and after church, asked: "Gary, whatever made you do such a thing?" Gary answered soberly: "I asked God to teach me to whistle... And He just then did!"

If you want to smile through your tears, if you want to rejoice through times of suffering, just keep reminding yourself that, as a Christian, what you’re going through isn’t the end of the story … it’s simply the rough journey that leads to the right destination. --Charles Swindoll

I never have agreed with the Hollywood system of rating movies. I have a very simple system. Everything is DG: Don’t Go.

If you are a Christian, God needs you. If you are not a Christian, you need God.

Would it be considered mere coincidence if we were to find out that Humpty Dumpty took his great fall on the sunny side of the street?

I have never been hurt by anything I didn’t say.

I find greater personal reward in working with the construction crew rather than the wrecking crew, although there certainly is a place in the Christian life for both.

At the store they tried to sell me a spring mattress and I had to tell them I wanted a mattress for all year round.


If you are one of those people who are stressed, calm down, “stressed” spelled backwards is “desserts.” So live backwards, fat maybe, but calm (!)

When Jesus makes a difference in you, you will make a difference in the world.

Election Watch. When it comes time to vote, there are three kinds of voters in the country. The informed, the uninformed, and the misinformed.

There should be no question of any kind that God’s answer’s to life’s questions are better than man‘s. If you don’t believe me, just look around you and see where man’s answers have gotten him.

Sometimes I'll go to the symphony even if I don't need the sleep.

My marriage is like a giant game of chess. Sure wish I knew how to play chess.

- I need to find a new job. I've just about had it with the photo lab. All the negativity is getting me down.
- I'm not a very good multi-tasker, unless you count sleeping, dreaming, and snoring all at the same time. If you do, I'm brilliant!

Money can't buy happiness, but it can help you look for it quicker, and in a convertible.

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people.

He, who loses money, loses much; He, who loses a friend, loses much more;
He, who loses faith, loses all.

One night Mike's parents overheard this prayer. "Now I lay me down to rest, and hope to pass tomorrow's test, if I should die before I wake, that's one less test I have to take."

Johnny had been misbehaving and was sent to his room. After a while he emerged and informed his mother that he had thought it over and then said a prayer. "Fine," said the pleased mother. "If you ask God to help you not misbehave, He will help you." "Oh, I didn't ask Him to help me not misbehave," said Johnny. "I asked Him to help you put up with me."


Q. Who was the greatest female financier in the Bible?
A. Pharaoh's daughter. She went down to the bank of the Nile and drewout a little prophet.

Q. What kind of man was Boaz before he got married?
A. Ruth-less.

Q. What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible?
A. Jehovah drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden in a Fury.
A. David's Triumph was heard throughout the land.
A. Honda...because the apostles were all in one Accord.
A. 2 Cor. 48 describes going out in service in a Volkswagen Beetle:"We are pressed in every way, but not cramped beyond movement."

Q. Where is the first baseball game in the Bible?
A. In the big inning, Eve stole first, Adam stole second. Cain struck out Abel, and the Prodigal Son came home. The Giants and the Angels were rained out.

Q. What do they call pastors in Germany?
A. German Shepherds.

Q. What is the best way to get to Paradise?
A. Turn right and go straight.

Q. Which area of Palestine was especially wealthy?
A. The area around the Jordan. The banks were always overflowing.

Q. Where is the first tennis match mentioned in the Bible?
A. When Joseph served in Pharaoh's court.

Q Which Bible character had no parents?
A Joshua, son of Nun.

And this particular four-year-old prayed: "And forgive us our trash baskets as we forgive those who put trash in our baskets."

A little boy was overheard praying: "Lord, if You can't make me abetter boy, don't worry about it. I'm having a real good time like I am!"

How to Get Money for the Church!
A minister was preoccupied with thoughts of how he was going to ask the congregation to come up with more money than they were expecting for repairs to the church building.
Therefore, he talked with the organist to see what kind of inspirational music she could play after the announcement about the finances to get the congregation in a giving mood.
"Don't worry," she said. "I'll think of something."
During the service, the minister paused and said, "Brothers and Sisters, we are in great difficulty; the roof repairs cost twice as much as we expected, and we need $40,000 more. Any of you who can pledge $1000 or more, please stand up."
Just at that moment, the organist started playing, "The Star Spangled Banner."

We may ask for greater faith so we can heal others, but God, who understands human need far better than we do, gives us greater compassion so that we can weep with others. --Richard J. Foster


❖ We often forget that the ultimate healing for a Christian is resurrection. -- Charles Farr

❖ The electric telegraph, though it be but an invention of man, would have been as hard to believe in a thousand years ago as the resurrection of the dead is now. Who in the days of packhorses would have believed in flashing a message from England to America? Everything is full of wonder till we are used to it, and resurrection owes the incredible portion of its marvel to our never having come across it in our observation--that is all. After the resurrection we shall regard it as a divine display of power as familiar to us as creation and providence now are. -- Charles H. Spurgeon in the Metropolitan Tabernacle Pulpit (Vol.18).

❖ Winston Churchill chose to believe. Churchill arranged his own funeral. There were stately hymns in St. Paul's Cathedral and an impressive liturgy. But at the end of the service, Churchill had an unusual event planned. When they said the benediction, a bugler high in the dome of St. Paul's Cathedral on one side played Taps, the universal signal that the day is over. There was a long pause. Then a bugler on the other side played Reveille, the military wake-up call. It was Churchill's way of communicating that, while we say "Good night" here, it's "Good morning" up there. Now why could he do that? Because he believed in Jesus Christ, who said "I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me though he were dead, yet shall he live." When a man steps out of his own grave, he is anything that he says that he is, and he can do anything that he says he can do. -- Robert Russell, "Resurrection Promises,"

"By perseverance the snail reached the ark." - Charles Spurgeon

He who does not stand for something, will fall for anything.

March 2, 2008

The greatest financial genius in the Bible was NOAH!
He was able to float stock while the rest of the world was in liquidation!

To be agreeable when we disagree is a goal most of us have to keep working at.

As spokes get nearer to the hub of the wheel, they become closer together.

The little wheels in the back of the watch are just as important as the hands of the watch.

He who will not follow and cannot lead should get out of the way.

Group harmony is seldom achieved without personal sacrifice.

"If you are a Christian, you are not a citizen of this world trying to get to heaven; you are a citizen of heaven making your way through this world." -- Vance Havner

"Satan is not fighting churches; he is joining them. He does more harm by sowing tares than by pulling up wheat. He accomplishes more by imitation than by outright opposition." -- Vance Havner

"Don't worry that children never listen to you. Worry that they're always watching you." -- Robert Fulghum


... More than 22 percent of Americans say they never go to church. (Natl. Opinion Research Center/Univ. of Chicago) In 2004, that number was 17 percent.

... The average attendance of a Protestant church in the United States is 70.

... The Roman Catholic Church, with 67.5 million members, is the largest U.S. church. The Jehovah's Witnesses are the fastest growing — 2.25 percent. (religiousnewsservice.com)

... 27 percent of the U.S. population contend that Mormons are not Christians. (Barna)

... More than one-quarter of American adults have left the faith of their childhood for another religion or no religion at all. The U.S. is 78 percent Christian, and 51 percent Protestant. (MSNBC)

"The world is moved not only by the mighty shoves of the heroes, but also by the aggregate of the tiny pushes of each honest worker." -- Helen Keller

"Contentment is not the fulfillment of what you want, but the realization of how much You already have." – Unknown

"It is impossible to get the measure of what an individual can accomplish, unless the responsibility is placed on him." -- Alfred Sloan

"The heart has its reasons which reason knows nothing of." -- Blaise Pascal

Mother Teresa was once asked, "How do you measure the success of your work?" She thought about the question and gave her interviewer a puzzled look, and said, "I don't remember that the Lord ever spoke of success. He spoke only of faithfulness in love. This is the only success that really counts."

"Satan has no difficulty in making sin look innocent." -- John Blanchard

What word can be written forward, backward or upside down, and can still be read from left to right?

DID YOU KNOW?
* It now costs the U.S. Mint almost two cents to make a penny and almost a dime to make a nickel.
* Coins last about 30 years in circulation before they wear out.
* The penny was 95 percent copper and 5 percent zinc until 1982 when it became 97.5 percent zinc and 2.5 percent copper.
* The U.S. Mint produces and distributes coins, while the Bureau of Engraving and Printing produces paper currency.
* Yes, we know the proper spelling is "penny-wise!"

After dozens of very expensive tests and weeks of hospitalization, the rich old man was told he had only 24 hours to live. He immediately called his doctor and his lawyer to his room. He asked the doctor to stand by one side of his bed and his lawyer to stand by the other. After standing for some time, the doctor asked "What do you want me to do?" "Nothing. Just stand there." A while later, the lawyer asked "What do you want me to do?" "Nothing. Just stand there." As the hours wore on, the doctor and the lawyer watched the man weaken. When his time had almost arrived, the doctor and the lawyer again asked "Why are we standing here?" "Well," said the old man, "Christ died between two thieves, so I thought I'd do the same!


Ever notice the trend of today’s thinking? We seem to have “high opinions” of ourselves and would rather “be served” than serve others. It almost seems as if we’ve taken on an attitude of “I deserve it” or, like one commercial totes, “I’m worth it.” God has a different lesson for His children, however. The Psalm says “he looks upon the lowly but the proud he knows from afar.” Jesus says, “I came to serve, not to be served.” And in Romans we see the entire truth of the matter when Paul states, “those controlled by the sinful nature have their minds set on their own selfish desires.” Who’s at your controls?

“Earth to Control, Earth to Control, Please Come In...”
Like the astronaut in space, calling into the control station for direction, guidance, and often help for repairs, we, too, have a ‘control station’ that guides our thoughts, our hearts, and our actions. Often we hand the controls off to the wrong person, however, and the affect it has in our lives results in further separation from God. In the two lessons, we see the example of a heart controlled by pride and how Jesus responds to such an attitude. Then we see how God gives us His Holy Spirit to help control our sinful nature and live for Him. May our eyes and hearts be opened to hear this word, respond to it, and put it into practice in our lives.

Who’s At YOUR Controls?
To answer this question, we pose a few other questions that must be answered!
1. What does God give “authority” for?
(Answer: not for your self-importance, motives, ambition, or even respect. The authority God gives you through His Holy Spirit is meant for service to Him and all things He has created.)
2. What motive do you have for being a Christian?
(Answer: not to “gain” God’s love or even the gift of eternal life. Our motive should be a response of love, we love Him because He first loved us, and we DESIRE to be with Him now and for eternity. Our motive should not be from any “bargaining” perspective.)
3. Are you a ‘controlling’ person or one who prefers to ‘be controlled?’
(This answer is one you must ask yourself and honestly answer.)

A sergeant came into the barracks and asked if anyone knew shorthand.
One recruit saw easy duty and raised his hand.
Good, they’re short-handed down at the mess hall.

I kept putting up flyers all over campus and still no one came to our shows. Maybe we could have come up with a better name for our band than Lost Dog

If someone is using their cell phone while driving 60 miles per hour, is he or she talking a mile a minute?

Wife: "I'm going to try something new this summer with the dog and kids."
Husband: "What"s that?"
Wife: "I'm sending the dog to camp and the kids to obedience school."

❖ God can make you anything you want to be, but you have to put everything in his hands and give Him control of your life. -- Mahalia Jackson (1911-1972)
❖ I define ego as Edging God Out. -- Kenneth Blanchard co-author of The One-Minute Manager

"Fearlessness is not the absence of fear. It's the mastery of fear. It's about getting up one more time than we fall down."


After having dug to a depth of 10 meters last year, Scottish scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 100 years and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 100 years ago. Not to be outdone by the Scots, in the weeks that followed, British scientists dug to a depth of 20 meters, and shortly after, headlines in the UK newspapers read: "British archaeologists have found traces of 200 year old copper wire and have concluded that their ancestors already had an advanced high-tech communications network a hundred years earlier than the Scots." One week later, "The Klub", a Sunburg, Minnesota newspaper reported the following: "After digging as deep as 30 meters in corn fields near Games Lake, Ole Johnson, a self taught archaeologist,
reported that he found absolutely nothing. Ole has therefore concluded that 300 years ago Norwegians in Minnesota were already using cell phones.

"Who you are speaks so loudly, I can't hear what you say." -- Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Give to the world the best you have, and the best will come back to you." -- Ella Wheeler Wilcox

Murphy's Laws and Other Great Truisms:
You get the most of what you need the least.
Anything is easier to take apart than to put back together.
One child is not enough, but two children are far too many.
The quickest way to find something is to start looking for something else.
Good enough never is.
A bird in hand is safer than one overhead.



❖ I have a sign in the mirror of my room I see it every morning in my groggy condition, when I first wake up: WHAT HAVE YOU GOT GOING TODAY, GOD? I'D LIKE TO BE A PART OF IT. THANKS FOR LOVING ME. I have to find my place in God's plans, rather than make my own little plans and then ask God to support them. I have to give Him the control so I can be in control, led by His Spirit: "Come on, God, give me an A in this course. Come on, God, do this for me." Instead, I pray, "What have you got going today, God? You love this world. You loved this world into life. You created this world. We're all yours. What's my part in the drama? What part do you want me to play? I will play any part you say. Want me to be a success? I'll be a success for you. Want me to be a failure? I'll fail for you. Whatever you want." That's the condition of successful prayer. -- John Powell,

Fairy Tales and Technology
If you think technology has changed the work world, just take a look at what's happening in never-never land. A recent update reports that today:
Little Bo Peep never loses sheep because of their embedded silicon identity chips. Cinderella searches for her prince on Match.com - and leases her pumpkin-colored SUV at Avis.com.
Hansel and Gretel use the GPS rather than breadcrumbs but have reported problems stuffing the wicked witch into her microwave oven.
To avoid travel stress, Alice now plans her Wonderland vacation with velocity.com.
A reformed Ebenezer Scrooge sends Bob Cratchett to update his certification for Excel and Quiken.
Jack's making a fortune on his beanstalk bioengineering breakthrough.
Old McDonald uses voice recognition to make ordering easy at his agricultural auction site http://www.eieio.com.
Romeo and Juliet avoid tragic problems by keeping in touch through their cell phones.
With her early Web capabilities, Charlotte is now a motivational speaker at tech conferences around the world.
The Pied Piper switched career fields after his tunes were bootlegged on Napster.
King Arthur has replaced that expensive round table with satellite videoconferencing.
Gulliver is on sabbatical using up all his frequent flyer miles.
Jack and Jill order their Evian on peapod.com.