April 27, 2008
MORNING PRAYER
Dear Lord,
So far today I've done all right. I haven't gossiped, haven't lost my temper, haven't been greedy, grumpy, nasty, selfish or over-indulgent. And I'm really glad about that.
In a few moments, Lord, I'm going to get out of bed, and from then on I'm probably going to need a lot more help. Amen.
Adversity stirs us up and causes us to look at life differently. We are forced to deal with things on a deeper level. Nothing causes "self" to cave in like suffering. And once our religious facade begins to wear thin, God moves in and begins teaching us what real Christlikeness is about. --Charles Stanley
On the Prairie Home Companion, Garrison Keilor was talking about churches not getting along with each other . . . you know how it goes. Then he told this joke:
You know, Ole was shipwrecked once and landed on an island where he spent 15 years all alone! When the rescuers finally found him, he wanted to show them around before he left. "This building here is my house that I built for myself. And this building here is the barn I built so I could farm here on the island. And this building here is the church I built so I could worship God here on the island."
The rescuers asked, "What's that building over there?"
"Oh," said Ole, "that's the church I used to go to."
Shortest fairy tail ever
Once upon a time a man asked a woman to marry him.
She said "NO".
And the man lived happily ever after.
"What am I supposed to do with this?" grumbled a motorist as the policeman handed him a speeding ticket.
"Keep it," the cop said, "when you collect four of them you get a bicycle."
What Are Calories?
Calories are little units that measure how good a particular food tastes.
Fudge, for example, has a great many calories, whereas celery, which is not really a food at all, but a member of the plywood family, provided by Mother Nature so that we would have a way to get onion dip into our mouths at parties, has none.
"Age does not protect you from love but love to some extent protects you from age." -- Jeanne Moreau
"You don't do drugs; drugs do you." -- Unknown
"A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs--jolted by every pebble in the road." -- Henry Ward Beecher
I will give you this as a most certain observation, that there never was anything of false doctrine brought into the church, or anything of false worship imposed upon the church, but either it was by neglecting the Scripture, or by introducing something above the Scripture.
--John Collins
- Being a husband is like any other job. It helps a lot if you like the boss.
- Views expressed by husbands are not necessarily those of the management.
- The honeymoon is over when he no longer smiles gently as he scrapes the burnt toast.
How do you know that cats are sensitive creatures?
They never cry over spilt milk!
Why was the cat so small?
Because it only ate condensed milk!
My church welcomes all denominations, but mainly they prefer tens and twenties.
- There would be fewer problems with children if they had to chop wood to keep the television set going.
"The fault finder will find faults even in Paradise." -- Henry David Thoreau
"Every worthwhile accomplishment has a price tag attached to it. The question is always whether you are willing to pay the price to attain it--in hard work, sacrifice, patience, faith, and endurance." -- John C. Maxwell
"The highest reward for your toil is not what you get for it, but what you become by it." -- John Ruskin
“Do what is right, not what you think the high headquarters wants or what you think will make you look good." -- Norman Schwarzkopf, General
"The world measures greatness by money, or eloquence, or intellectual skill, or even by prowess on the field of battle. But here is the Lord's standard: 'Whosoever shall humble himself as this little child, the same is the greatest in the Kingdom of Heaven' (Matthew 18:4)." -- J.H. Jowett
Seven [more] Deadly Sins
Truth, if it becomes a weapon against persons.
Beauty, if it becomes vanity.
Love, if it becomes possessive.
Loyalty, if it becomes blind, careless trust.
Tolerance, if it becomes indifference.
Self-confidence, if it becomes arrogance.
Faith, if it becomes self-righteous.
The Bible was the first book ever printed. In 1454, Johannes Gutenberg invented the "type mold" printing press and began to print the Bible. Life magazine called this the single most important event of the second millennium.
Stephen Langton first divided the Bible into chapters in 1228.
The Old Testament was first divided by verses in 1448 and the New Testament in 1551.
The first English Bible translation was initiated by John Wycliffe in 1382 and completed by John Purvey in 1388.
It takes about 70 hours to read the entire Bible.
About 170,000 Bibles are distributed each day in the United States.
The Bible is the best selling best-selling book of all time.
"How wonderful that God personally cares about those things that worry us and prey upon our thoughts. He cares about them more than we care about them. Not a single nagging, aching, worrisome, stomach-tensing, blood-pressure-raising thought escapes His notice." -- Charles Swindoll
The door of hell does not open from the inside.
God formed us. Sin deformed us. Christ transforms us.
A sick man turned to his doctor as he was preparing to leave the examination room and said, "Doctor, I am afraid to die. Tell me what lies on the other side."
Very quietly, the doctor said, "I don't know."
"You don't know? You, a Christian man, do not know what is the other side?"
The doctor was holding the handle of the door; on the other side came a sound of scratching and whining, and as he opened the door, a dog sprang into the room and
leaped on him with an eager show of gladness.
Turning to the patient, the doctor said, "Did you notice my dog? He's never been in this room before. He didn't know what was inside. He knew nothing except that his master was here, and when the door opened, he sprang in without fear. I know little of what is on the other side of death, but I do know one thing... I know my Master is there and that is enough.
According to the obituary notices, a mean and unimportant person never dies.
Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.-- John Benfield
"The Winner's Creed" and may this creed inspire new thoughts and visions of
greatness in our lives:
"If you think you are beaten, you are.
If you think you dare not, you don't.
If you like to win, but you think you can't
It is almost certain you won't.
If you think you'll lose, you're lost.
For out of the world we find
Success begins with a person's will --
It's all in the state of mind
If you think you're outclassed, you are.
You've got to think high to rise.
You've got to be sure of yourself before
You can ever win the prize.
Life's battles don't always go
To the stronger woman or man,
But sooner or later the one who wins
Is the one WHO THINKS HE CAN."
-- Anonymous
Dear Lord,
So far today I've done all right. I haven't gossiped, haven't lost my temper, haven't been greedy, grumpy, nasty, selfish or over-indulgent. And I'm really glad about that.
In a few moments, Lord, I'm going to get out of bed, and from then on I'm probably going to need a lot more help. Amen.
Adversity stirs us up and causes us to look at life differently. We are forced to deal with things on a deeper level. Nothing causes "self" to cave in like suffering. And once our religious facade begins to wear thin, God moves in and begins teaching us what real Christlikeness is about. --Charles Stanley
On the Prairie Home Companion, Garrison Keilor was talking about churches not getting along with each other . . . you know how it goes. Then he told this joke:
You know, Ole was shipwrecked once and landed on an island where he spent 15 years all alone! When the rescuers finally found him, he wanted to show them around before he left. "This building here is my house that I built for myself. And this building here is the barn I built so I could farm here on the island. And this building here is the church I built so I could worship God here on the island."
The rescuers asked, "What's that building over there?"
"Oh," said Ole, "that's the church I used to go to."
Shortest fairy tail ever
Once upon a time a man asked a woman to marry him.
She said "NO".
And the man lived happily ever after.
"What am I supposed to do with this?" grumbled a motorist as the policeman handed him a speeding ticket.
"Keep it," the cop said, "when you collect four of them you get a bicycle."
What Are Calories?
Calories are little units that measure how good a particular food tastes.
Fudge, for example, has a great many calories, whereas celery, which is not really a food at all, but a member of the plywood family, provided by Mother Nature so that we would have a way to get onion dip into our mouths at parties, has none.
"Age does not protect you from love but love to some extent protects you from age." -- Jeanne Moreau
"You don't do drugs; drugs do you." -- Unknown
"A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs--jolted by every pebble in the road." -- Henry Ward Beecher
I will give you this as a most certain observation, that there never was anything of false doctrine brought into the church, or anything of false worship imposed upon the church, but either it was by neglecting the Scripture, or by introducing something above the Scripture.
--John Collins
- Being a husband is like any other job. It helps a lot if you like the boss.
- Views expressed by husbands are not necessarily those of the management.
- The honeymoon is over when he no longer smiles gently as he scrapes the burnt toast.
How do you know that cats are sensitive creatures?
They never cry over spilt milk!
Why was the cat so small?
Because it only ate condensed milk!
My church welcomes all denominations, but mainly they prefer tens and twenties.
- There would be fewer problems with children if they had to chop wood to keep the television set going.
"The fault finder will find faults even in Paradise." -- Henry David Thoreau
"Every worthwhile accomplishment has a price tag attached to it. The question is always whether you are willing to pay the price to attain it--in hard work, sacrifice, patience, faith, and endurance." -- John C. Maxwell
"The highest reward for your toil is not what you get for it, but what you become by it." -- John Ruskin
“Do what is right, not what you think the high headquarters wants or what you think will make you look good." -- Norman Schwarzkopf, General
"The world measures greatness by money, or eloquence, or intellectual skill, or even by prowess on the field of battle. But here is the Lord's standard: 'Whosoever shall humble himself as this little child, the same is the greatest in the Kingdom of Heaven' (Matthew 18:4)." -- J.H. Jowett
Seven [more] Deadly Sins
Truth, if it becomes a weapon against persons.
Beauty, if it becomes vanity.
Love, if it becomes possessive.
Loyalty, if it becomes blind, careless trust.
Tolerance, if it becomes indifference.
Self-confidence, if it becomes arrogance.
Faith, if it becomes self-righteous.
The Bible was the first book ever printed. In 1454, Johannes Gutenberg invented the "type mold" printing press and began to print the Bible. Life magazine called this the single most important event of the second millennium.
Stephen Langton first divided the Bible into chapters in 1228.
The Old Testament was first divided by verses in 1448 and the New Testament in 1551.
The first English Bible translation was initiated by John Wycliffe in 1382 and completed by John Purvey in 1388.
It takes about 70 hours to read the entire Bible.
About 170,000 Bibles are distributed each day in the United States.
The Bible is the best selling best-selling book of all time.
"How wonderful that God personally cares about those things that worry us and prey upon our thoughts. He cares about them more than we care about them. Not a single nagging, aching, worrisome, stomach-tensing, blood-pressure-raising thought escapes His notice." -- Charles Swindoll
The door of hell does not open from the inside.
God formed us. Sin deformed us. Christ transforms us.
A sick man turned to his doctor as he was preparing to leave the examination room and said, "Doctor, I am afraid to die. Tell me what lies on the other side."
Very quietly, the doctor said, "I don't know."
"You don't know? You, a Christian man, do not know what is the other side?"
The doctor was holding the handle of the door; on the other side came a sound of scratching and whining, and as he opened the door, a dog sprang into the room and
leaped on him with an eager show of gladness.
Turning to the patient, the doctor said, "Did you notice my dog? He's never been in this room before. He didn't know what was inside. He knew nothing except that his master was here, and when the door opened, he sprang in without fear. I know little of what is on the other side of death, but I do know one thing... I know my Master is there and that is enough.
According to the obituary notices, a mean and unimportant person never dies.
Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.-- John Benfield
"The Winner's Creed" and may this creed inspire new thoughts and visions of
greatness in our lives:
"If you think you are beaten, you are.
If you think you dare not, you don't.
If you like to win, but you think you can't
It is almost certain you won't.
If you think you'll lose, you're lost.
For out of the world we find
Success begins with a person's will --
It's all in the state of mind
If you think you're outclassed, you are.
You've got to think high to rise.
You've got to be sure of yourself before
You can ever win the prize.
Life's battles don't always go
To the stronger woman or man,
But sooner or later the one who wins
Is the one WHO THINKS HE CAN."
-- Anonymous
posted by joypastordon at 1:49 PM
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