May 18, 2008

DO YOU FEEL TIRED?
If you're an adult of average weight here is what you accomplish in 24 hours:
Your heart beats 103,689 times,
Your blood travels 168,000,000 miles,
You breathe 23,040 times,
You inhale 438 cubic feet of air,
You eat 3/4 pounds of food,
You drink 2.9 quarts of liquids,
You speak 4,800 words, including some unnecessary ones,
You move 750 muscles,
Your nails grow .000046 inch,
Your hair grows .01714 inch,
You exercise 7,000,000 brain cells.... Do you feel tired?

It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare. -- Mark Twain

Slow down and enjoy life. It's not only the scenery you miss by going too fast, you also miss the sense of where you are going and why. -- Eddie Cantor

Pain nourishes courage. You can't be brave if you've only had wonderful things happen to you. -- Mary Tyler Moore

"People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing--that's why we recommend it daily." -- Zig Ziglar

"A skeptic won't take KNOW for an answer." -- Unknown

"None are so empty as those who are full of themselves." -- Benjamin Whichcote

A teacher gave her class of second graders a lesson on the magnet and what it does.
The next day in a written test, she included this question: "My full name has six letters. The first one is M. I am strong and attractive. I pick up things. What am I?"
When the test papers were turned in, the teacher was astonished to find that almost 50 percent of the students answered the question with the word "Mother."

We must ask ourselves, How much of eternity is in what we are doing?

Question. Which came first, the chicken or the egg? Answer. According to Webster, the chicken.

About the only exercise some people get is side-stepping responsibility, running down their neighbors, and jumping to conclusions.

Every day the teacher had an hour of “empty your mind.” She told me that that was one class I really excelled in.
I don’t know what your problem is, but I bet it’s hard to pronounce.


Where the Bugs Are
Your bed
The threat: More than 84 percent of beds in U.S. homes host dust mites. These microscopic critters live in your sheets and feed on your dead skin, and their fecal matter and corpses contribute to asthma and allergies.

The solution: Don't make your bed. A study from London's Kingston University found that dust mites need humidity levels above 50 percent to survive. And while they can't live in the arid conditions of an unmade bed, a made bed traps the moisture they need to thrive. Mount an air attack, too. Try bundling a dehumidifier with an oscillating fan for a two-pronged moisture eliminator.

Where the Bugs Are
The restaurant menu
The threat: Ever see anybody wash a menu? We didn't think so. A recent study in the Journal of Medical Virology reports that cold and flu viruses can survive for 18 hours on hard surfaces. If it's a popular joint, hundreds of people could be passing their germs on to you.

The solution: Never let the menu touch your plate or silverware as you ponder the wine list, and wash your hands after you order. But how do you escape the bathroom without touching the door handle? Palm a spare paper towel after you wash up, and then use it to grab the handle. Execute this trick properly and nobody needs to know how much you fear germs.


YOU CALL ME . . .
You call me Master and obey me not,
You call me Light and see me not,
You call me the Way and walk not,
You call me Life and desire me not,
You call me Wise and follow me not,
You call me Fair and love me not,
You call me Rich and ask me not,
You call me Gracious and trust me not,
You call me Noble and serve me not,
You call me Mighty and honor me not,
You call me Just and fear me not,
If I condemn you, Blame Me Not. Unknown

How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?

" I've read the last page of the Bible. It's all going to turn out all right."
God has two thrones - one in the highest heavens; the other is in the lowliest heart.

Once upon a time in their marriage, my Dad did something really stupid. My Mom chewed him out for it. He apologized, they made up. However, from time to time, my mom mentions what he had done. "Honey," my Dad finally said one day, "why do you keep bringing that up? I thought your policy was 'forgive and forget.'"
"It is," she said. "I just don't want you to forget that I've forgiven and forgotten."


A minister delivered a sermon in ten minutes one Sunday morning that was about half the usual length of his sermons. He explained, "I regret to inform you that my dog, who is very fond of eating paper, ate that portion of my sermon which I was unable to deliver this morning."
After the service, a visitor from another church shook hands with the preacher as he was leaving, and said, "Sir, if that dog of yours has any pups, I sure would like to get one to give to my minister!"

The words of baseball great Babe Ruth: "The way a team plays as a whole determines its success. You may have the greatest bunch of individual stars in the world, but if they don't play together, the club won't be worth a dime."

"Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac." - George Carlin

Life Is Mostly What We Make of It
To those who see with loving eyes, life is beautiful.
To those who speak with tender voices, life is peaceful.
To those who help with gentle hands, life is full.
And to those who care with compassionate hearts, life is good beyond all measure.

More people are killed by donkeys annually than are killed in plane crashes.
A pastor, known for his lengthy sermons, noticed a man get up and leave during the middle of his message. The man returned just before the conclusion of the service.
Afterwards the pastor asked the man where he had gone.
"I went to get a haircut," was the reply.
"But," said the pastor, "why didn't you do that before the service?"
"Because," the gentleman said, "I didn't need one then."