November 15

"Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition inspired, and success achieved." - Helen Keller

A teacher was finishing up a lesson on the joys of discovery and the importance of curiosity. "Where would we be today," she asked, "if no one had ever been curious?"
One child quietly spoke up from the back of the room. "In the garden of Eden?"


**Americans who attend church in one week: 102 million
**Americans who attend professional baseball, basketball, and football games in one year: 94 million -- Statistical Abstract of the United States, cited in Emerging Trends

Faith is believing that God is working on the problem even when we cannot see it.

Lord, help me to trust in you even when I cannot see your hand at work. Amen

Letter to send to people who won't hire you [Date Today]
Dear [Interviewer's Name]:
Thank you for your letter of April 17. After careful consideration I regret to inform you that I am unable to accept your refusal to offer me employment with your firm. This year I have been particularly fortunate in receiving an unusually large number of rejection letters. With such a varied and promising field of candidates it is impossible for me to accept all refusals.
Despite Acme Inc.'s outstanding qualifications and previous experience in rejecting applicants, I find that your rejection does not meet with my needs at this time. Therefore, I will initiate employment with your firm immediately following graduation. I look forward to seeing you then.
Best of luck in rejecting future candidates.
Sincerely, [Your Name]

The average Christian around the world gives 15 cents a week to foreign missions. The average Christian in Europe gives 25 cents, and the average believer in North America gives 50 cents - less than the cost of a cup of coffee. - Source: Missions Researcher Justin Long

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply, Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God...

The first lighthouse built in the USA was in Boston, MA in 1716.

The state of California has more 7-Eleven stores than any other state. There are approximately 1,200 stores.

ATTITUDE OF GRATITUDE
Feelings of gratitude release positive endorphins throughout the body, creating health.
Sharon Huffman

When we learn to give thanks, we are learning to concentrate not on the bad things, but on the good things in our lives.

How to install a security system;
1. Go to a second-hand store and buy a pair of men's used size 14- 16 work Boots.
2. Place them on your front porch, along with several empty beer cans, a Copy of Guns & Ammo magazine and several NRA magazines.
3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazine.
4. Leave a note on your door that reads: Hey Bubba, Big Jim, Duke and Slim, I went to the gun shop for more ammunition. Back in an hour. Don't mess with the pit bulls -- they attacked the mailman this morning and messed him up real bad. I don't think Killer took
part in it but it was hard to tell from all the blood.
PS - I locked all four of 'em in the house. Better wait outside.

www.joypastordon.blogspot.com/ JOY 10
If you're called upon to give advice, you should know that it is like snow: The softer it falls, the deeper it goes.

When a man doesn't care what people think of him, he has reached either the top or the bottom. Croft M. Pentz

The love of God, with arms extended on a cross, bars the way to hell. But if that love is ignored, rejected, and finally refused, there comes a time when love can only weep while man pushed past into the self-chosen alienation that Christ went to the cross to avert.
Michael Green

Through baptism we become part of a family much larger than our biological family. It is a family of people "set apart" by God to be light in the darkness. These set-apart people are called saints. Although we tend to think about saints as holy and pious, and picture them with halos above their heads and ecstatic gazes, true saints are much more accessible. They are men and women like us, who live ordinary lives and struggle with ordinary problems. What makes them saints is their clear and unwavering focus on God and God's people. Some of their lives may look quite different, but most of their lives are remarkably similar to our own.
The saints are our brothers and sisters, calling us to become like them.

I believe there is an old answer for every new problem, that wise whispers of the past are with us to assure us that if we just listen and remember, we are not alone; we have been here before. Victor Hanson

That some good can be derived from every event is a better proposition than that everything happens for the best, which it assuredly does not. James K. Feibleman


SIGNS YOU'RE OVERDOING THANKSGIVING........
* Hundreds of volunteers have started to stack sandbags around you.
* Doctor tells you your weight would be perfect for a man 17 feet tall.
*. You are responsible for a slight but measurable shift in the earth's axis.
* You spill more food on you than the local soup kitchen dispenses
* Paramedics bring in the Jaws of Life to pry you out of the EZ-Boy
* Your after dinner moans are loud enough to signal Dr. Kevorkian
* The "Gravy Boat" your wife set out was a real 12' jon boat!
* The potatoes you used set off another famine in Ireland
* Your "Big Elvis Super-Belt" won't even go around your waist
* You receive a Sumo Wrestler application in your e-mail
* You set off 3 earthquake seismographs on your morning jog Friday
* Pricking your finger for cholesterol screening only yielded gravy
* You have 5 TV sets side-by-side to catch all the football games
* That rash on your stomach turns out to be steering wheel burn
* Your wife wears a life jacket at night in your water bed
* Representatives from the Butterball Hall of Fame called twice
* You consider gluttony as your patriotic duty
* It looks like the left-overs are gonna last until Christmas
* Your arms are too short to reach the keyboard & delete this
* A guest quotes a Biblical passage from "The Feeding of the 5000"

"When you meet the devil, you know you are not going his way. If you never meet him, you must be going in the same direction." -Unknown

"Sometimes the most Godly thing we can do is take the day off." - Max Lucado

You Are a Kxy Person "For we are all members of one body."
Xvxn though this typxwritxr is an old modxl, it works vxry wxll, xxcxpt for onx kxy. You'd think that with all thx othhxr kxys working, onx kxy would hardly bx noticxd. But just onx kxy out of whack sxxms to ruin thx wholx xffort.
Havx you xvxr said to yoursxlf, "I'm only onx pxrson. No onx will noticx if I don't do my bxst."
But it doxs makx a diffxrxncx, bxcausx to bx xffxctivx, a family, an organization, a church or a businxss nxxds complxtx participation by evxryonx to thx bxst of his or hxr ability.
So if you'rx having onx of thosx days whxn you think you just arxn't vxry important, and you'rx txmptxd to slack off, rxmxmbxr this old typxwritxr. You arx a kxy pxrson, and whxn you don't do your bxst, nothing xlsx around you works out thx way it is supposxd to.2

"We are all missionaries. Wherever we go, we either bring people nearer to Christ, or we repel them from Christ." - Eric Liddell

An applicant was filling out a job application. When he came to the question, "Have you ever been arrested?" he wrote, "No."
The next question, intended for people who had answered in the affirmative to the previous question, was "Why?" The applicant answered it anyway: "Never got caught."

"The only fear I have is to fear to get out of the will of God. Outside of the will of God, there's nothing I want, and in the will of God there's nothing I fear." - A.W. Tozer


Are Christians Narrow-Minded Absolutists?
"Jesus answered, 'I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.'"
"Believing in absolutes doesn't make one an absolutist," writes Chuck Colson in his news report "Jubilee" about a TV interview where the host accused him of being an absolutist.
Colson said, "When that TV host asked me why Christians always try to cram our views down people's throats, I was getting nowhere. Then I remembered he loved to sail.
"'Have you ever sailed at night, navigating by the stars?' I asked. 'Yes,' he replied.
"'Could you use those stars to navigate if they appeared in different, random positions every night?'
"'Of course not,' he said slowly.
"I think he got it. Christians are not intolerant absolutists. We just don't want our culture to be lost at sea, unaware of the stars above that could so quickly right our course."
Jesus not only stated emphatically that he was the only way to God the Father but also that, "Heaven can be entered only through the narrow gate! The highway to hell is broad, and its gate is wide enough for all the multitudes who choose its easy way. But the gateway to life is small, and the road is narrow, and only a few ever find it."3 We can call God an absolutist, too, if we so desire, but to ignore his way leads to our peril—and eternal damnation. God doesn't lead us to our peril.
Had there been any other way to Heaven Jesus would not have had to die on the cross to save us from our sins. Let us thank God that he provided the only way to God, Heaven, and eternal life.
Prayer: "Dear God, I thank you with all my heart that you provided the only way to make my peace with you through giving your Son, Jesus, to die on the cross to pay the price for the forgiveness of my sins and to give me the gift of eternal life. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus' name, Amen."

"The church is a sunny place for shady people." - Oswald Hoffman

November 8

The purpose of the church, financially, is not to accumulate as much money as possible but to give away as much as possible. -- Jerry Hayner

** If your family doesn't appreciate you, take heart. Jesus faced the same thing in his family. –Max Lucado

MONEY
It can buy you a House, But not a Home.
It can buy you a Bed, But not Sleep.
It can buy you a Clock, But not Time.
It can buy you a Book, But not Knowledge.
It can buy you a Position, But not Respect.
It can buy you Medicine, But not Health.
It can buy you Blood, But not Life.



How much is a billion?
What's the difference between a millionaire and a billionaire?

A million seconds is 13 days.
A billion seconds is 31 years!

A billion minutes ago was just after the time of Christ.

A billion dollars ago was yesterday at the U.S. Treasury.
According to statistics of Christian Churches today. The breakdown of giving looks like this:
20% of members Give 80% of all funds
30% of members Give the other 20%
50% of members Give nothing – ever!

You cannot help the poor by destroying the rich.
You cannot strengthen the weak by weakening the strong.
You cannot bring about prosperity by discouraging thrift.
You cannot lift the wage earner up by pulling the wage payer down.
You cannot further the brotherhood of man by inciting class hatred.
You cannot build character and courage by taking away people's initiative and independence.
You cannot help people permanently by doing for them, what they could and should do for themselves. William J. H. Boetcker, 1942 Presbyterian minister

At the UPS cargo phone center where I worked, a woman called and said, "I need a baseball quote."
I immediately answered with Yogi Berra's famous "It ain't over 'til it's over!"
There was a brief moment of silence before the woman asked, "What was that?"
"You asked me for a baseball quote," I responded, "and that was the first thing that came into my head."
"Oh," she replied. "My husband told me to call and get a baseball quote."
I asked if she wanted to ship something, and she said she did.
Then it dawned on me: "Do you mean you want a ballpark figure?"

The Hokey Pokey -- Shakespearean Style!
O proud left foot, that ventures quick within
Then soon upon a backward journey lithe.
Anon, once more the gesture, then begin:
Command sinistral pedestal to writhe.
Commence thou then the fervid Hokey-Poke.
A mad gyration, hips in wanton swirl.
To spin! A wilde release from heaven's yoke.
Blessed dervish! Surely canst go, girl.
The Hoke, the poke -- banish now thy doubt
Verily, I say, 'tis what it's all about.

C.S. Lewis said it this way...
To be a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable,
because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you.

"The Bible is alive, it speaks to me; it has feet, it runs after me; it has hands, it lays hold of me." Martin Luther

If I make anything out of the fact that I am Thomas Merton, I am dead. And if you make anything out of the fact that you are in charge of the pig pen, you are dead. Quit keeping score altogether and surrender yourself with all your sinfulness to God who sees neither the score or the scorekeeper, but only his child redeemed by Christ. --Thomas Merton

If there is one truth you see on nearly every page of the Scriptures, it is this: God speaks to His people. From Adam in the Garden, to John on the island of Patmos, from Genesis to Revelation, God is speaking where His people can hear Him. Why is that so hard to believe? If you were going somewhere with a friend, would you expect him to walk silently beside you, never saying a word? So if you are walking with God, shouldn't you expect Him to want to share with you what is on His heart? --Henry Blackaby

"For effective communication, use brevity. Jesus said, 'Follow me.' Now that's brief! He could be brief because of all that he was that he didn't have to say." -- Jim Rohn

"If I must choose between righteousness and peace, I choose righteousness." -- Teddy Roosevelt

"There is one thing that we all have in common. That is...at some point in our life, we will face adversity. It's not a matter of if but ... when." -- Mac Anderson


"Just as iron rusts from disuse, even so does inaction spoil the intellect." -- Leonardo da Vinci, Artist

"You must be the change you wish to see in the world." -- Mahatma Gandhi

"If I can stop one heart from breaking, I shall not live in vain." -- Emily Dickinson

"What lies behind us, and what lies before us, are tiny matters compared to what lies within us." -- Ralph Waldo Emerson


A man was driving when a traffic camera flashed. He thought his picture was taken for exceeding the speed limit, even though he knew he was not speeding. Just to be sure, he went around the block and passed the same spot, driving even more slowly, but again the camera flashed. He thought this was quite funny, so he slowed down even further as he drove past the area, but the traffic camera flashed yet again.
He tried a fourth time with the same result. The fifth time he was laughing when the camera flashed as he rolled past at a snail's pace.
Two weeks later, he got five traffic fine letters in the mail for driving without a seat belt.

A priest once asked one of his parishioners to serve as financial chairman of his parish. The man, manager of a grain elevator, agreed on two conditions: no report would be due for a year, and no one would ask any questions during the year. At the end of the year he made his report. He had paid off the church debt of $200,000. He had redecorated the church. He had sent money to missions. He had $5,000 in the bank. Needless to say, everyone wanted to know how. The man quietly explained, "You people bring your grain to my elevator. As you did business with me, I simply withheld 10 percent and gave it to the church. You never missed it."

The Widow's Mite for $39.95
An advertisement I ran across read: "Now you too can own a Genuine Coin From The Time of Jesus: The Widow's Mite. It's a minor miracle that this coin has survived and now people of faith can study, cherish, and protect it for future generations. It's yet another miracle that they're so affordable."
Then, the ad goes on to quote the Scripture we just heard, "While our limited supplies last, you may order the 2,000 year old Widow's Mite for only $39.95 plus shipping and handling. Remember this is the genuine coin mentioned in the Holy Bible and it makes a perfect gift for your child, grandchild, or favorite clergyman."
The advertisement makes it sound like your buying the actual coin the widow dropped into the receptacle. Of course, you are not. It doesn't exist. Harder still is to purchase the woman's attitude of generosity, which is of greater value in today's market.

"Reading is to the mind what exercise is to the body." -- Joseph Addison

"Your living is determined not so much by what life brings you as by the attitude you bring to life; not so much by what happens to you as by the way your mind looks at what happens." -- Lewis L. Dunnington

At age 16 Confucius was a corn inspector.


"If you want to know how to live your life, think about what you want people to say about you after you die--and live backward." -- Author Unknown

"Our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become." -- Unknown

Forty six percent of the world's water is in the Pacific Ocean. The Atlantic has 23.9 percent; the Indian, 20.3; the Arctic, 3.7 percent.

As Gandhi stepped aboard a train one day, one of his shoes slipped off and landed on the track. He was unable to retrieve it as the train was moving. To the amazement of his companions, Gandhi calmly took off his other shoe and threw it back along the track to land close to the first. Asked by a fellow passenger why he did so, Gandhi smiled. "The poor man who finds the shoes lying on the track," he replied, "will now have a pair he can use."

(Paul Harvey, Nov. 1995): The Butterball Turkey company set up a hotline to answer consumer questions about preparing holiday turkeys. One woman called to inquire about cooking a turkey that had been in her freezer for 23 years.
The operator told her it might be safe if the freezer had been kept below 0 degrees the entire time. But the operator warned the woman that, even if it were safe, the flavor had probably deteriorated, and she wouldn’t recommend eating it.
The caller replied, “That’s what we thought. We’ll just give it to the church.”
APPLY: Why does that strike us as funny? She was consecrating that Turkey to God, wasn’t she? What she was offering was still good – wasn’t it??? BUT tho’ it may have been “consecrated”… though it still was “good,” it wasn’t going to taste good or smell good.

Vince Lombardi believed that mental attitude accounted for 75 percent of the ingredients of winning. Everyone wants to win, but most people don't believe they can, and therefore give up before they have tried. The more you believe you can win, the harder you will work. The harder you work, the more you will believe you can win, and the longer you will persist until you succeed.

According to a recent report, charitable giving in America has increased less than one percent over the past few years. During the same time span, however, debt payments have risen 550 percent, while our entertainment spending is up 123 percent. Not surprisingly, the average consumer in this country spends $1.05 to $1.10 for every dollar of income. The figures are startling, even for a society where millions of people live in various degrees of financial debt."
Giving is an attitude. It is a way of life. Some people are givers—others takers—and some are keepers. Whether we give of our money, time, talents, or love, as Jesus reminds us, "Give and it will be given to you." And I think I could safely say, "Take and the most valuable things of life will be taken from you."
Prayer, "Dear God, please help me to be a giver, first to you and then to others—and never just a taker or a keeper. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus' name, amen."

Every worthwhile accomplishment, big or little, has its stages of drudgery and triumph; a beginning, a struggle and a victory. --Mahatma Gandhi


The Paradox of Our Time in History is that
We spend more, but have less; we buy more, but enjoy it less.
We have bigger houses and smaller families; more conveniences, but less time; more medicine, but less wellness.
We read too little, watch TV too much and pray too seldom.
We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values.
These are the times of tall men, and short character; steep profits, and shallow relationships.
These are the days of two incomes, but more divorce; of fancier houses, but broken homes.
We've learned how to make a living, but not a life; we've added years to life, not life to years; we've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul.
We have taller buildings, but shorter tempers, wider freeways but narrower viewpoints.
We have more college degrees but less sense, more knowledge but less judgment. We’ve learned how to make a living, but not a life. We’ve added years to life, but not life to years. We’ve done larger things, but not better things. We build more computers to hold more information that we print on more paper than every before, but we communicate less. These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, tall people and short character, steep profits but shallow relationships. You get the idea.

"Push on, friend. You're just one exciting step from the banquet hall of life." -- Zig Ziglar

"If you don't like how things are, change it! You're not a tree." -- Jim Rohn

"Decide today to be a master of change rather than a victim of change." -- Brian Tracy

November 1

"When men believe God, they speak boldly. When they doubt, they confer." -- A.W. Tozer

"Worry doesn't help tomorrow's troubles, but it does ruin today's happiness." -- Unknown.

A bishop of Sweden once said… “Saints are those who make it easier for us to believe in God."
Robert Louis Stevenson said.. "Saints are sinners who keep on going."

A saint is one who is faithful in all circumstances, one whose identity is not shaken by the daily circumstances, the ups and downs of life.

"And There will be Three"
The newly wed wife said to her husband when he returned from work: "I have great news for you. Pretty soon we're going to be three in this house instead of two."
The husband started glowing with happiness and kissing his wife said: "Oh darling, I'm the happiest man in the world."
But then she said: "I'm glad that you feel that way because tomorrow morning my mother
moves in with us."

"Much of our difficulty as seeking Christians stems from our unwillingness to take God as He is and adjust our lives accordingly. We insist upon trying to modify Him and to bring Him nearer to our own image." - A.W. Tozer

The average ear of corn has eight-hundred kernels arranged in sixteen rows.

It runs more pages than War and Peace, has nearly five times as many words as the Torah, and its tables of contents alone run far longer than this story. The House health care bill unveiled Thursday clocks in at 1,990 pages and about 400,000 words. With an estimated 10-year cost of $894 billion, that comes out to about $2.24 million per word. .

"Pray For Me" One Sunday in church, a young child was "acting up" during the morning worship hour. The parents did their best to maintain some sense of order in the pew but were losing the battle. Finally, the father picked the little fellow up and walked sternly up the aisle on his way out. Just before reaching the safety of the foyer, the little one called loudly to the congregation, "Pray for me! Pray for me!"

It doesn't do much good to put your best foot forward if you are dragging the other one.

"Leaders must be close enough to relate to others, but far enough ahead to motivate them." - John Maxwell


The "But first... Syndrome" (Author Unknown)
The scientific world is frantically searching for a cure. There is an ailment many of us suffer from and many have not, as yet, been diagnosed. However, now you may be able to discuss it with your loved ones and try to explain what really happened to you all those times you tried so hard to accomplish something and didn't.
It's called the "But first...Syndrome." It's like when I decide to do the laundry. I start down the hall and notice the newspaper on the table. Okay, I'm going to do the laundry - But first I'm going to read the newspaper. After that, I notice the mail on the table. Okay, I'll just put the newspaper in the recycle stack, But first I'll look through that pile of mail and see if there are any bills to be paid. Now where's the checkbook?
Oops! There's the empty glass from yesterday on the coffee table. I'm going to look for that checkbook, But first I need to put the glass in the sink.
I head for the kitchen, look out the window, notice my poor flowers need a drink of water. I put the glass in the sink, and darn it, there's the remote for the TV on the kitchen counter. What's it doing here? I'll just put it away, But first I need to water those plants.
Head for door and Ack! I stepped on the dog. The dog needs to be fed. Okay, I'll put that remote away and water the plants. But first I need to feed the dog.
At the end of day: Laundry is not done, Newspapers are still on the floor, Glass is still in the sink, Bills are unpaid, Checkbook is still missing, The dog ate the remote control. AND, when I try to figure out how come nothing got done all day, I'm baffled, because I KNOW I was BUSY ALL DAY!
I realize this condition is serious....and I should get help, But first I think I'll read all my e-mail.

Wouldn't the world be different if we treated the Bible the way we treat our cell phones:
. What if we carried it around in our purses or pockets?
. What if we turned back to go get it if we forgot it?
. What if we flipped through it several times a day?
. What if we used it to receive messages?
. What if we treated it like we couldn't live without it?
. What if we gave it to kids as gifts?
. What if we used it as we traveled?
. What if we used it in case of an emergency?
. What if we upgraded it to get the latest version?
This is something to make you go...hmmm...where is my Bible?
Oh, and one more thing. Unlike our cell phones, we don't ever have to worry about our bible being disconnected because Jesus already paid the bill!

Computer Terms, Defined by Rednecks:
Hard Drive: Getting home in mud season.
Mouse: What eats the horses' grain in the barn.
BAR CODE: Them's the fight'n rules down at the local tavern
SUPERCONDUCTOR: Amtrak's Employee of the year
CHIP: Pasture muffins that you try not to step in
Infrared: Where the leftovers go when Fred's around.
KEYBOARD: Where you hang the keys to the John Deere
MODEM: What ya did when the grass and weeds got too tall
HARDCOPY: Picture looked at when selecting tattoos
MEGAHERTZ: How your head feels after 17 beers


What Retirees Do
Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days interesting. Well for example, the other day my wife and I went into town and went into a shop. We were only in there for about 5 minutes. When we came out, there was a cop writing out a parking ticket. We went up to him and said, "Come on man, how about giving a senior citizen a break?" He ignored us and continued writing the ticket. I called him a looser. He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having worn tires. So my wife called him a Nazi. He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket. This went on for about 20 minutes. The more we abused him, the more tickets he wrote. Personally, we didn't care, our car was parked around the corner. And the car he was writing up had a "HILLARY IN 2008" on it. We try to have a little fun each day now that we are retired. It's important at our age.

Encouragement
"Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching."1
Even if you are aware of why geese fly in ">" formation, it is a good reminder for us humans. As each bird flaps its wings, it creates uplift for the bird immediately following. By doing this, the whole flock adds at least 71 percent greater flying range than if each bird flew on its own.
When a goose falls out of formation, it suddenly feels the drag and resistance of trying to go it alone—and quickly gets back into formation to take advantage of the lifting power of the bird in front.
When the head goose gets tired, it rotates back and another goose flies point. Also, the following geese honk from behind to encourage those up front to keep on keeping on and to keep up their speed.
Also, when a goose gets sick or is wounded by gunshot, and falls out of formation, two other geese fall out with that goose and follow it down to lend help and protection. They stay with the fallen goose until it is able to fly or until it dies, and only then do they launch out on their own, or with another formation to catch up with their group.
We would do well to follow the example of the geese.
Prayer: "Dear God, please help me to be a good team member to lead when it is my turn, and to be a good follower and encourager when another is taking the lead. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus' name, amen."



Life Sayings from Country Folks
- Life is not about how fast you run, or how high you climb, but how well you bounce.
- Don't skinny dip with snapping turtles.
- Words that soak into your ears are whispered, not yelled.
- Forgive your enemies. It messes with their heads.
- You can catch more flies with honey than vinegar, assuming you want to catch flies.
- Man is the only critter who feels the need to label things as flowers or weeds.
- It don't take a very big person to carry a grudge.
- You can't unsay a cruel thing.
- When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty.

Translations of Help Wanted Ads
Energetic self-starter: You'll be working on commission.
Entry level position: We will pay you the lowest wages allowed by law.
Experience required: We do not know the first thing about any of this.
Fast learner: You will get no training from us.
Flexible work hours: You will frequently work long overtime hours.
Good organizational skills: You'll be handling the filing.
Make an investment in you future: This is a franchise or a pyramid scheme.
Management training position: You'll be a salesperson with a wide territory.
Much client contact: You handle the phone or make "cold calls" on clients.
Must have reliable transportation: You will be required to break speed limits.
Must be able to lift 50 pounds: We offer no health insurance or chiropractors.
Opportunity of a lifetime: You will not find a lower salary for so much work.
Planning and coordination: You book the bosses travel arrangements.
Quick problem solver: You will work on projects months behind schedule already.
Strong communication skills: You will write tons of documentation and letters.

USING THE RIGHT WORDS
Mark Twain once said that the difference between the right word and the nearly right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug. In other words, it's huge. What we say and don't say ... matters. Words have the power to heal and to hurt. They have the ability to win people over or wound them for years to come. It's very important that we choose our words wisely. ... God can help us with that if we ask Him. --John Hull and Tim Elmore


Thought for Today "Much of our difficulty as seeking Christians stems from our unwillingness to take God as He is and adjust our lives accordingly. We insist upon trying to modify Him and to bring Him nearer to our own image." - A.W. Tozer

Theodore Roosevelt's ideas on Immigrants and being an AMERICAN in 1907.
"In the first place, we should insist that if the immigrant who comes here in good faith becomes an American and assimilates himself to us, he shall be treated on an exact equality with everyone else, for it is an outrage to discriminate against any such man because of creed, or birthplace, or origin. But this is predicated upon the person's becoming in every facet an American, and nothing but an American...There can be no divided allegiance here. Any man who says he is an American, but something else also, isn't an American at all. We have room for but one flag, the American flag... We have room for but one language here, and that is the English language... and we have room for but one sole loyalty and that is a loyalty to the American people." Theodore Roosevelt 1907

- The marvels of today's modern technology include the soda can, which when discarded, will last forever and a $20,000 car, which when properly cared for will rust out in two or three years.
- I'm not bossy, I just know what you should be doing.
- Many a good man has failed because he had his wishbone where his backbone should have been.
- Laughter is an instant vacation.
- You can lead a man to Congress, but you can't make him think.
- Get the facts first. You can distort them later.
- He's the kind of man you would use as a blueprint to build an idiot.
- Money doesn't bring you happiness, but it enables you to look for it in more places.
- Misers aren't much fun to live with, but they make great ancestors.
- Be careful what rut you choose. You may be in it the rest of your life.
- A closed mouth gathers no feet.
- Money isn't everything....there's credit cards, money orders, and travelers checks.

Sign at animal shelter: Children left unattended will be given a puppy or a kitten.

October 25

Today we celebrate Reformation Sunday. We remember the past as we come into a new day. And through God’s continuous reforming love, we can prepare to find a new way for our lives. Reformation is a time to cause us to stop, think about life and why we are here. To think about yesterday and prepare for tomorrow with the Word of God as our guide. It is a time to renew old vows and make new ones. It is a time to replenish hope, deepen faith, and know the forgiveness of God. We are His Church--we gather to praise Him. Let us hold each other in the fellowship of the Holy Spirit as we shout aloud our praise to God!
What sets this day apart are not the events of 500 years ago. The Reformation is not merely a past event but an ongoing movement. In every generation, no less our own, God calls His people to renewal. Today we give thanks for a Reformation heritage. We remember that a heritage is no substitute for the ongoing work of reformation and renewal in our own time. We continue in Christ's gift of freedom only as long as we continue faithful in His Word.

You can do more through a handful of totally devoted believers than through a churchful of halfhearted ones. -- Bill Hybels

As I grow older, I care less what people think about me and more what God thinks of me. I expect to be with him much longer than with you. -- Robert Baker in Country Road 13

The amount of sleep required by the average person is about five minutes more.
If people were not meant to have late-night snacks, why did God put a light in the refrigerator?

Do not look forward to what may happen tomorrow. The same everlasting Father who cares for you today will take care of you tomorrow, and every day. Either he will shield you from suffering, or he will give you unfailing strength to bear it. Be at peace, then. Put aside all anxious thoughts and imaginations. --Francis of Sales

“The most used of God are the most broken.” (Jack Hyles)

Safety is not found in the absence of danger but in the presence of God.


Work with the construction gang, not the wrecking crew.
It's said that Robert (Bobbie) Knight, fabled for his temper on the basketball sidelines as a coach, had turned his thoughts to his future after his last firing, and was contemplating more than just basketball. So he called his church pastor one day and asked him, "Reverend, will I be able to coach basketball in Heaven?"
His pastor, not wanting to give a glib answer, asked for a few days to pray and meditate upon the issue.
About a week later, he returned Bob Knight's call and asked him to come in and meet with him in his study.
"Well, Bob," says the pastor, as the two sit down together, "there's good news and there's bad news. The good news is that yes, you'll be able to coach basketball in Heaven."
"Great!" exclaims Bob. "What's the bad news?"
"Unless you get a handle on that temper of yours, you'll be coaching for the visiting team."

John Newton is remembered for his hymn, “Amazing Grace.” in his later years, he often lost his memory in the pulpit and had to be reminded of the subject about which he had been preaching. He said, “My memory is nearly gone; but It remember two things: that I am a great sinner and that Jesus is a great Savior.” (Victory Baptist Press)

"God is testing us now that He may shake out of us the things that are transient and temporal, and that we may be established in the things which cannot be shaken and which shall remain...Christ the Author and Finisher of our faith is searching and proving our faith, and bringing to light every weakness and defect so that we may be established and settled and prepared for the testing day!" - A. B. Simpson

We are not human beings going through a temporary spiritual experience.
We are spiritual beings going through a temporary human experience.

"Jesus gives us real eyes so we can realize where the real lies." - Michael McInerny

Youth is not entirely a time of life;
it is a state of mind.
Nobody grows old by merely living a number of years.
People grow old by deserting their ideals.
You are as young as your faith,
as old as your doubts;
as young as your self-confidence,
as old as your fear;
as young as your hope,
as old as your despair.
---General Douglas MacArthur



The “Perfect Church”
Ever heard the old cliche’ — “If you ever find the perfect church, please don’t join it. If you do, it won’t be perfect anymore!” The church is made up of people who are saved by God’s grace, but still not perfect!
The RIGHT Imitation
What every church should be is what every Christian should be: elect (born again), exemplary (imitating the right people), enthusiastic (sharing the Gospel with others), and expectant (daily looking for Jesus Christ to return).
Remember this Responsibility:
The world is looking for Spiritual help. When it turns to the church what will it see? Are we “fit to be imitated?” The word “imitate” is synonymous with “follow.” Are we as individuals and as the church something God would want the world to follow?

NIPPING NEGATIVE REACTIONS
Have you noticed how easy it is to react in a negative manner when something negative happens in your life? Doubt may creep into your thoughts and cause you to question God and His Word. Proverbs 17:22 (NIV) says "A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones."
Samuel Hearne was an adventurer who took an expedition to the mouth of the Copper- mine River. He recorded that a few days after the journey was started, Indians stole most of the expedition's supplies. What was the explorer's comment on the theft? Surely he must have been upset and distressed about so great a loss. Not so! The optimistic Hearne wrote:
"The weight of our baggage being so much lightened, our next day's journey was more swift and pleasant."
Remember, negative reactions only make a bad situation worse. Choose to look for the bright side of problems this week. Keep tabs on the results of your optimistic outlook.
You might also want to keep a record of how your perspective is changed.

"Success is going from failure to failure without a loss of enthusiasm." -- Winston Churchill

A young bride was scouring the aisles of the supermarket. Up and down each aisle she went, then started over again. The store manager noticed this and went over to her.
"Can I help you find something, miss?" he asked.
"I's Mrs.!", she said proudly, "I just got married."
"Congratulations, " said the manager. "What can I help you find?"
"Scratch," she replied.
"Scratch?" he asked, "Is that a new cleanser or something?"
"No silly," she replied brightly. "My husband told me that his mother made everything from scratch, so I need to find some!"

"By sacrificing his body, Jesus created a new form of community - the Body of Christ around the world. There are people like my friends, stories like our stories, everywhere he is believed and obeyed. His sacrifice reconnects us to reality, to truth, to who God is, to a clear vision of who we are without him and who we are with him." - Kelly Monroe Kullberg, Finding God Beyond Harvard (InterVarsity, 2006)

The letters of the alphabet in order of their frequency of use are,
ETAISONHRDLUCMFWYPGVBKJQXZ.


Three paramedics were boasting about improvements in their respective ambulance team's response times.
"Since we installed our new satellite navigation system," bragged the first one, "we cut our emergency response time by ten percent."
The other paramedics nodded in approval. "Not bad," the second paramedic commented. "But by using a computer model of traffic patterns, we've cut our average response time by 20 percent."
Again, the other team members gave their congratulations, until the third paramedic said, "That's nothing! Since our ambulance driver passed the bar exam, we've cut our emergency response time in half!"

"If God never became flesh, he could neither redeem us nor reveal to us his promise of eternal life. It is only by becoming like us that God can make us like him, restoring us in his image." - St. Irenaeus, 444 Surprising Quotes about Jesus (Bethany House, 2006)

"The Lord's Prayer is 66 words, the Gettysburg Address is 286 words, and there are 1,322 words in the Declaration of Independence. Yet, government regulations on the sale of cabbage total 26,911 words." --David McIntosh

"People don't ask for facts in making up their minds. They would rather have one good, soul-satisfying emotion than a dozen facts." --Robert Keith Leavitt

The church should be a community of dates instead of pumpkins. Pumpkins you can harvest in six months. Dates have to be planted and tended by people who will not live to harvest them. Dates are for future generations. -- George Chauncey

If we can convince people that we are onto something that's full of joy, they'll stampede one another to follow us. -- William Treadwell

October 18

All-in-one online Bible http://ntgateway.com/multibib/bible.htm - On this site, you can search the Bible through a variety of online Bible programs and translations - all on one page.

Bernie says to his friend, "My Sadie and I, we are always holding hands."
"Why do you do this?" asks his friend.
"Because if I let go, she shops."

"Whether you believe you can do a thing or not, you are right." -- Henry Ford

"Bad habits are like a comfortable bed, easy to get into, but hard to get out of." -- Unknown

"You'll always miss 100% of the shots you don't take." -- Wayne Gretzky,

"My father taught me to always do more than you get paid for as an investment in your future." -- Jim Rohn

According to a study released last week by the Pew Research Center®, the global Muslim population now stands at 1.57 billion, which is almost 25 percent of the world's population. Islam, which is practiced in 232 countries and territories, is the world's second largest religion behind Christianity, which has between 2.1 and 2.2 billion followers. The report also revealed that roughly 2.3 million Muslims live in the United States making up 0.8 percent of the population.
Sixty-five percent of Americans who claim a religious affiliation take a non-exclusivist view of salvation, saying that many religions can lead to eternal life. Less than one-quarter say theirs is the one true faith leading to eternal life. Fifty-two percent of American Christians believe that some non-Christian faiths can lead to eternal life. The number of religiously-affiliated Americans saying that only their own faith can lead to eternal life increased slightly between 2007 and 2008, from 24 percent to 29 percent. The increase is especially pronounced among white evangelical Protestants (37% to 49%) and black Protestants (35% to 45%).


"Your success in your career will be in direct proportion to what you do after you've done what you are expected to do." -- Brian Tracy

"Don't spend time beating on a wall, hoping to transform it into a door."

Australian statistics show that four-month-old infants watch an average of 44 minutes of television each day. The guidelines warn that exposure to television at such an early age can delay language development, affect the ability of a child to concentrate and lead to obesity. They recommend that children under two should be banned from watching television. The recommendations also suggest that children aged two to five should watch no more than one hour of television a day.

Although Christmas spending is forecasted to be down from a year ago, results from a recent Gallup poll say that if the numbers hold, it could mean better holiday retail sales. The poll for 2009 Christmas spending intentions finds Americans, on average, planning to spend $740 on gifts this year — down somewhat from the $801 recorded at this time a year ago — but higher than the $639 prediction Americans gave two months later in the economically troubled 2008 holiday season. [Gallup.com]

On average, 150 couples get married in Las Vegas each day.

Bananas contain a natural chemical which can make a person happy. This same chemical is found in Prozac.

The right lung of a human is larger than the left one. This is because of the space and placement of the heart.

The Church is the people of God. The Latin word for "church," ecclesia, comes from the Greek ek, which means "out," and kaleo, which means "to call." The Church is the people of God called out of slavery to freedom, sin to salvation, despair to hope, darkness to light, an existence centered on death to an existence focused on life.
When we think of Church we have to think of a body of people, travelling together. We have to envision women, men, and children of all ages, races, and societies supporting one another on their long and often tiresome journeys to their final home.

"It's the little things that bother us and put us on the rack, you can sit upon a mountain but you can't sit on a tack!"

"Your success in your career will be in direct proportion to what you do after you've done what you are expected to do." -- Brian Tracy


"Don't spend time beating on a wall, hoping to transform it into a door."

"Nice guys finish best!" -- Denis Waitley

"The angel fetched Peter out of prison, but it was prayer that fetched the angel." -- Thomas Watson

"There are no great victories at discount prices." --Dwight Eisenhower

"If you wouldn't write it and sign it, don't say it."-- Earl Wilson

"It's easy to identify people who can't count to ten. They are in front of you in the express lane at the supermarket." -- June Henderson

"Late night TV is very educational. It teaches you that you should have gone to bed earlier." -- James Dent

A new bride went crying to her mother.
"Momma, I can't get Neil to do anything. I want him to fix up the house, and he keeps putting it off."
"Honey," her mother replied, "after being married to your father for six years, I've found the only way to get him to do anything is to tell him he's too old."

What happens to you is not nearly as important (in your eyes) as how you perceive what happens to you. -- Kent Crockett,

An economics professor at Texas Tech said he had never failed a single student before but had once failed an entire class. That class had insisted that socialism worked and that no one would be poor and no one would be rich--a great equalizer. The professor then said ok, we will have an experiment in this class on socialism.
All grades would be averaged and everyone would receive the same grade so no one would fail and no one would receive an A. After the first test the grades were averaged and everyone got a B. The students who studied hard were upset and the students who studied little were happy. But, as the second test rolled around, the students who studied little had studied even less and the ones who studied hard decided they wanted a free ride too; so they studied little.. The second test average was a D! No one was happy. When the 3rd test rolled around the average was an F.
The scores never increased as bickering, blame, and name calling all resulted in hard feelings, and no one would study for the benefit of anyone else. All failed. To their great surprise, the professor told them that socialism would also ultimately fail because when the reward is great, the effort to succeed is great; but when government takes all the reward away; no one will try or want to succeed.
Could not be any simpler than that.


Notice It
Life is full of beauty. Notice it. Notice the bumble bee, the small child, and the smiling faces. Smell the rain, and feel the wind. Live your life to the fullest potential, and fight for your dreams. Ashley Smith Robinson

The Best and Worst of Times
In addition to getting a good night of sleep, spending time with friends (mentioned by 55%) and listening to music (54%), were the only other activities that enthused a majority of adults from among the 17 possibilities that were offered to survey respondents.
The least appealing activities, besides completing tax forms, included having a physical examination by a doctor (14%) and going shopping for clothing (16%).
The ranking of the items examined might surprise people. For instance, the fourth most appealing activity was attending church services, which 40% said they look forward to. In fact, further confirming that religion is “hot” right now, Americans were more likely to say they look forward to reading the Bible (31%) than to look forward to reading a novel for pleasure (25%). And the fact that shopping for clothing was ranked by women fifteenth out of the 17 options conflicts with the venerable stereotype.
The attraction of the media was also evident. Two out of every three adults (68%) said that they look forward to watching TV, listening to music, or seeing a movie. This was especially common among young adults: three-quarters of those 18 to 22-years-old (76%) mentioned at least one of those options as compelling. Overall, one out of every ten adults listed all three media as things they looked forward to a lot.

October 11

On average, a U.S. citizen causes over 100 times more damage to the global environment than a person in a poor country. The average North American consumes five times more than a Mexican, 10 times more than a Chinese person and 30 times more than a person in India. The richest 25 percent of the world's population use 86 percent of all forest products, 75 percent of energy, 72 percent of steel production. The poorest use only two percent of the world's resources.

The Freedom to Sing
The French have a story about a millionaire in his palace who spent his days counting his gold. Beside the palace was a poor cobbler who spent his days singing as he repaired people's shoes. The joyful singing irritated the rich man. One day he decided to give some gold coins to the cobbler. At first the cobbler was overjoyed, and he took the coins and hid them. But then he would be worried and go back to check if the coins were still there. Then he would be worried in case someone had seen him, and he would move the coins and hide them in another place. During all this, he ceased to sing. Then one day he realized that he had ceased to sing because of the gold coins. He took them back to the rich man and said, "take back your coins and give me back my songs."

The minister of a well-attended, strong, and enthusiastic church often showed himself ready and able to deal with any situation that might come up. One Sunday, just as he was reaching the climax of his message, his own young grandson entered the church, ran to
the center aisle, started making loud beeps and vrrrmms like a car without a muffler, then zoomed right toward him. The minister stopped his message, pointed severely at his grandson, and commanded, "Jack, park the car immediately beside your mother on that
chair (pointing), turn off the ignition, and hand her the keys." The message continued undisturbed ... after a good laugh by the congregation.

How big is the internet? An interesting tidbit in an column on the difficulty of tracing terrorists' online activity: The National Security Agency, one of 16 intelligence agencies, estimates by next year, the Internet will carry 647 petabytes of data each day. "That's 647 followed by 15 zeros," "and by way of comparison, the holdings of the entire Library of Congress (130 million items, including 30 million books that occupy 530 miles of book shelves) represent only 0.02 petabytes."

An American couple visiting a German village stepped into a small shop to look for souvenirs. The woman sneezed. "Gezundheit!" said the clerk "Charles," said the American woman to her husband, "we're in luck. There's somebody here who speaks English."

The Purpose of Coffee Hour - Coffee was always served at our church after the sermon. One Sunday our minister asked one of the smaller members of the congregation if he knew why we had coffee hour. Without hesitating, the youngster replied, "To wake people up before they have to drive home."

"I cannot give you the formula for success, but I can give you the formula for failure--try to please everybody." -- Herbert Bayard Swope

You are here to make a difference by serving God and others. Whenever you serve others, in any way, you are actually serving God and fulfilling one of his purposes for creating you. We weren't placed on earth just to breathe, eat, take up space and have fun. God fashioned each of us to make a unique contribution with our lives. Rick Warren


"... Sometimes, faith helps ordinary men and women do the humanly impossible: to forgive, to love, to heal, and to redeem. It makes no sense. It is the most sensible thing in the world. The Amish have turned this occasion of spectacular evil into a bright witness to hope. Despite everything, a light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not overcome it."
- Rod Dreher, Dallas Morning News, writing about last week's Amish school shooting

Fifty-two percent of polled Americans admitted that they "re-gift" presents or say they will do so in the future. Four percent of those polled say they do this because they don't like the person they are giving the gift to. - Source: TIME magazine (Oct. 16, 2006)

"We think if we can disperse adequate information, people will be convinced that Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life, and turn to him. Those methods don't work any longer. I'm not sure they ever did. People aren't looking for information about God. They want to experience God, himself. Information leaves them bored, uninterested. Experience, especially the ultimate experience any human being can ever have, leaves them breathless.
And that's exactly what we have to offer." - Mark Tabb, Mission to Oz

Morris goes to his rabbi for some needed advice.
"Rabbi, tell me if it is proper for one man to profit from another man's mistakes."
"No, Morris, a man should not profit from another man's mistakes," answered the rabbi.
"Are you sure, Rabbi?"
"Of course, I'm sure. In fact, I'm positive," exclaimed the Rabbi.
"Ok, Rabbi, if you are so sure..... how about returning the two hundred dollars I gave you for marrying me to my wife!"

"I noticed you always carry my photo in your handbag. Why?" a husband asked his wife.
"When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem always disappears," she said. The man smiled. "You see how good I am for you?" he asked. "Yes," she said. "I see your picture and say to myself, 'What other problem can there be that is worse than this one?'"

October 4

A 2006 Yahoo online poll reported that the average U.S. family owns 12 tech devices, including three TVs, two computers, and seven other gadgets such as MP3 players, video game consoles and mobile phones. Poll respondents said their overlapping use of all these devices adds up to about 43 hours during each 24-hour day.

It's funny: Our techno-gadgetry allows us to stay in contact with so many different friends that we're often guilty of ignoring the people in the room with us in favor of those we're talking to online or on the cell phone.


Some random thoughts in relation to managing life and God’s creation:
* We humans own nothing—neither the land we stand on nor the body we live in; see Luke
12:13-21.
* The First Article of the Apostles’ Creed should read, “...Maker and Owner of heaven and
earth.”
* In relation to the stewardship of money, the goal must not be to encourage people to give
more. It must be to inspire people to manage better and rob less.
* We must get people to think beyond “tithing”–an OT concept referred to in Malachi 3:8-
13. The issue is not persuading people to give ten percent–and then keep the rest for
themselves! No one owns anything–and God owns everything.
* According to Jesus, being “blessed” has nothing to do with possessions or status; it has to
do with devoting life to serving Jesus in all His “distressing disguises” (Mother Theresa’s
term). Here, ponder Matthew 25:31-46.
* God has provided abundantly–but humanity has not shared compassionately.
* “One never sees a U-Haul attached to a hearse!”

The total area of Denver International Airport is 53 square miles, twice the size of Manhattan Island, New York, and larger than the city boundary of Boston, Miami or San Francisco.

The fastest moon in our solar system circles Jupiter once every seven hours - traveling at 70,400 miles per hour.

A United States Marine was attending some college courses between assignments. He had completed missions in Iraq and Afghanistan. One of the courses had a professor who was an avowed atheist, and a member of the ACLU.
One day the professor shocked the class when he came in. He looked to the ceiling and flatly stated, 'God if you are real then I want you to knock me off this platform. I'll give you exactly 15 min.' The lecture room fell silent. You could hear a pin drop. Ten minutes went by and the professor proclaimed, 'Here I am GOD, I'm still waiting.'
It got down to the last couple of minutes when the Marine got out of his chair, went up to the professor, and cold-cocked him, knocking him off the platform. The professor was out cold. The Marine went back to his seat and sat there, silently.
The other students were shocked and stunned, and sat there looking on in silence. The professor eventually came to, noticeably shaken, looked at the Marine and asked, 'What in the world is the matter with you? 'Why did you do that?'
The Marine calmly replied, 'GOD was too busy today protecting America 's soldiers, who are protecting your right to say stupid stuff and act like an idiot. So he sent me.'
The classroom erupted in cheers!

According to a press release from the Bible Literacy Project, more than 350 public schools in 43 states will be using their textbook, "The Bible and Its Influence," as the new school year begins. In Texas alone, over 50 public schools will be teaching the course.
Another textbook, "The Bible in History and Literature," published by the National Council on Bible Curriculum in Public Schools, is being used in 508 school districts (2,015 high schools) in 38 states.

Snickers is the most popular candy.
The man who invented shorthand, John Gregg, was deaf.
There are five tillion trillion atoms in one pound of iron.


You cannot help the poor by destroying the rich.
You cannot strengthen the weak by weakening the strong.
You cannot bring about prosperity by discouraging thrift.
You cannot lift the wage earner up by pulling the wage payer down.
You cannot further the brotherhood of man by inciting class hatred.
You cannot build character and courage by taking away people's initiative and independence.
You cannot help people permanently by doing for them, what they could and should do for themselves.
......Abraham Lincoln


- I hope the next time I move I get a real easy phone number, something like two two two two two two two. And then when people would say, "Mitch, how do I get a hold of you?" I'd say, "Just press two for awhile, and when I answer, you'll know you've pressed two enough."
- When you buy a box of Ritz crackers, on the back of the box they have all these suggestions as to what to put on top of the Ritz. "Try it with turkey and cheese. Try it with peanut butter." But I like crackers, that's why I bought it. I like crackers! I don't see a suggestion to put a Ritz on top of a Ritz. I didn't buy them because they're little edible plates. They've got no faith in their own product.
- I haven't slept for ten days, because that would be too long.
- I like vending machines 'cause snacks are better when they fall. If I buy a candy bar at the store, oftentimes I will drop it, to help it achieve its full flavor potential.
- By the way, you don't have to be sweaty and holding a basketball to enjoy Gatorade. You could just be a thirsty dude! Gatorade forgets about this demographic.
- My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.
- I don't have a microwave oven, but I do have a clock that occasionally cooks stuff.
- I didn't go to college, but if I did, I would have taken all my tests at restaurants, because "the customer is always right."
- I've got an oscillating fan at my house. The fan goes back and forth. It looks like the fan is saying "no." So I like to ask it questions that a fan would say "no" to. "Do you keep my hair in place?" "Do you keep my documents in order?"
- I just bought a two-bedroom house, but don't we get to decide how many bedrooms it has? This bedroom has an oven in it. This bedroom has lots of people sitting around watching a TV.
- I had a parrot. The parrot talked, but it did not say "I am hungry," so it died.
- I went to a pizzeria and ordered a slice of pizza. They gave me the smallest slice possible. If the pizza was a pie chart for what people would do if they won a million dollars, I was given the "donate it to charity" slice. "Excuse me, I would like to exchange this for the 'Keep It!' slice."
- You know, I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask where they're going and hook up with them later.

The detective was interviewing the man whose clothing shop had just been burglarized.
"It's bad," said the proprietor, "but it's not as bad as it could have been if he'd robbed me yesterday."
"Why is that?" the detective asked. "Because today everything was on sale."
~

Being a Christian is like being a pumpkin. God lifts you up, takes you in, and washes all the dirt off of you. He opens you up, touches you deep inside and scoops out all the yucky stuff-- including the seeds of doubt, hate, greed, etc. Then He carves you a new smiling face and puts His light inside you to shine for all the world to see.

It was Jimmy's first day of kindergarten and the teacher was starting the class off by teaching her students about the Pledge of Allegiance. She instructed everyone to stand and place their hands over their hearts, and repeat after her.
Halfway through, however, she stopped as she noticed that Jimmy did not have his hand over his heart.
It was on the right cheek of his fanny.
"Jimmy," she scolds, "I will not continue until you put your hand over your heart."
"But it *is* over my heart," Jimmy protests.
Several futile attempts to persuade Jimmy to move his hand later, the teacher finally sighs and asks, "Why do you think that's where your heart is?"
"Because," Jimmy replies, "every time my Gramma comes to visit, she picks me up, pats me right here, and says, 'Bless your little heart,' and my Gramma wouldn't lie!

ARE YOU PUSHED OR PUSHING?
How long would you keep an automobile that had to be pushed everywhere it went? How much would it be worth t you? How much pleasure would you find in it? You probably wouldn't keep a car like that very long, because it just couldn't be depended on to get you where you wanted to go, when you wanted to go.
The Lord is no more pleased with one of His servants that continually has to be pushed than you would be with an automobile that continually needs pushing.
God wants men and women of initiative and fervency of spirit. Paul taught us to be diligent, "not slothful...fervent in spirit; serving the Lord" (Romans 12:11)
A Christian that has to be pushed continually in order to keep him in service and attending worship is not devoted to Christ. It is understandable that a new convert might need to be pushed or encouraged, but if one who has been a Christian for many years must still be pushed, he is not growing spiritually as he should. He is not spiritually mature. Do
you have to be pushed? --Author Unknown

DON'T GIVE UP!
Your life is not a boring stretch of highway. It's a straight line to heaven. And just look at the fields ripening along the way. Look at the tenacity and endurance. Look at the grains of righteousness. You'll have quite a crop at harvest ... so don't give up! --Joni Eareckson Tada


GOD IN THE QUIETNESS
Recently, my hunger for some silence and solitude in my fast-paced life led me to a quiet monastery perched above the Pacific Ocean. After arriving, I sat on a bench overlooking the vast coastline 1,000 feet below. I beheld a vibrant, flaming pink sunset -- breathtaking, majestic, and powerful, yet at the same time, completely silent.
The quiet was a vivid contrast to what I had been experiencing. When we feel overwhelmed, we tend to move faster, become impatient, strive harder to stay in control. We seek to work things out for ourselves and turn to personal sources of strength instead of God. Like the Israelites, who were quick to trust in sources of power apart from God (horses, chariots, alliances), we are quick to trust in our own strength, our own resources,
our own abilities.
Yet God calls us to a different way. When we are caught up in busyness and striving, God calls us back to wait in quiet confidence until we can place our trust in God rather than our own efforts.
Lord, when we feel life is out of control, help us return to you. We repent of trusting in and depending upon any source of strength apart from you. We wait for your strength and your deliverance. Amen. --Stacey Padrick, "The Upper Room," date unknown

Peace with God is where all peace begins. --Jim Gallery

"When Jesus went home, he left the door open." - Max Lucado

Happiness keeps You Sweet,
Trials keep You Strong,
Sorrows keep You Human,
Failures keep You Humble,
Success keeps You Glowing,
But Only God keeps You Going!
You are so special!

September 27

A vision without action is called a daydream; but then again, action without a vision is called a nightmare.

Baseball superstar Hank Aaron said, "It took me 17 years to get 3,000 hits in baseball. In golf, it took one afternoon."

My heart has committed sins that my hands haven't gotten around to yet. --Michael Horton,

Jesus left . . .
His purse to Judas; His body to Joseph of Arimathea and Nicodemus;
His mother to John the Beloved disciple; His seamless robe to the soldiers;
His peace to His disciples; His last supper to his followers;
His baptism to new believers; His love to the children.;
His healing to the sick; His teachings to the hungry in mind and spirit;
His church to society; His Gospel to the world; His hope for the hopeless.
His presence with all of God's children (quoted by Robert Strand, Fascinating Facts about Jesus (Green Forest, AR: New Leaf Press), #50.)

Americans now have about 25 consumer electronic products in every household, compared with just three in 1980. many products now require large amounts of power to run.
The biggest offender is the flat-screen television. As liquid crystal displays and plasma technologies replace the old cathode ray tubes, and as screen sizes increase, the new televisions need more power than older models do. And with all those gorgeous new televisions in their living rooms, Americans are spending more time than ever watching TV, averaging five hours a day.
The result is a surge in electricity use by TVs, which can draw more power in a year than some refrigerators now on the market.
Another power drain is the video game console, which is found in 40 percent of American households. Energy experts — and many frustrated parents — say that since saving games is difficult, children often keep the consoles switched on so they can pick up where they left off.

William Barclay told a story about someone changing signs. That is, at an intersection of the road, one sign would point to the city of Seattle and another sign would point to the city of Tacoma. And the boy wondered to himself: How many people could I send down the wrong road if I changed the signs? Your very life is a sign post with a sign on it. Are you sending people down the wrong road or the right road?

I ordered a burger at McDonalds and the kid behind the counter asked, "Can you afford fries with that?"

The Cumulative Effect of Sin
Time-lapse photography compresses a series of events into one picture. Such a photo appeared in an issue of National Geographic. Taken from a Rocky Mountain peak during a heavy thunderstorm, the picture captured the brilliant lightning display that had taken place throughout the storm's duration. The time-lapse technique created a fascinating, spaghetti-like web out of the individual bolts. In such a way, our sin presents itself before the eyes of God. Where we see only isolated or individual acts, God sees the overall web of our sinning. What may seem insignificant -- even sporadic -- to us and passes with hardly a notice creates a much more dramatic display from God's panoramic viewpoint. The psalmist was right when he wrote, "Who can discern his [one's own] errors? Forgive my hidden faults. Keep your servant also from willful sins; may they not rule over me." (Psalm 19:12-13).

Designed to Be Lived Up
Ted Engstrom of World Vision fame tells how one day he was cleaning out an old desk drawer. He found a flashlight he hadn't used in a year. He turned it on but there was no light. He shook it, and then he unscrewed one end to release what were probably dead batteries. The batteries wouldn't come out, but finally, after some effort, he shook them loose. What a mess he found! Corroded batteries with liquid acid seeping all over the mechanism - all because he hadn't used the flashlight regularly!
Batteries are designed to be turned on, to be used, not neglected or ignored. What you and I refuse to use we will surely lose. We're meant to he turned on, too. Our gifts are to be used! Our lives are not meant to be "waited out" but to be lived up! Are you and I living up to the gifts and talents God has given us? What kind of commitment do we have to ourselves and to the graces within us?

“We crucify ourselves between two thieves; regret for yesterday, and fear of tomorrow.” (Fulton Ourslur)

Too many churches in America have the vision, “Just be nice until the Lord comes.”

I used to ask God to help me.
Then I asked if I might help God.
I ended up by asking God
to do his work through me. Hudson Taylor

The economy is so bad that I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.

"Goals. There's no telling what you can do when you get inspired by them. There's no telling what you can do when you believe in them. And there's no telling what will happen when you act upon them." -- Jim Rohn

"If you want to reach a goal, you must 'see the reaching' in your own mind before you actually arrive at your goal."-- Zig Ziglar

"An unwritten want is a wish, a dream, a never-happen. The day you put your goal in writing is the day it becomes a commitment that will change your life. Are you ready?"

"Goal-setting illuminates the road to success just as runway lights illuminate the landing field for an incoming aircraft." -- Nido Qubein



Where to Put the Pies
I was in a small rural church one time that had a major dispute about where the pies should be placed in the kitchen prior to serving them for the annual turkey supper. One woman actually left the church community because several new comers to the church had convinced the rest of the women working in the kitchen that it would be more efficient to put the pies on the counter beside the sink instead of the counter next to the refrigerator. "It's not the right way to do it", she said. "We've never done it that way before, and I am not going to be part of doing it that way now. I won't have any part of that kind of thing. Those new people are going to ruin this church. They don't know anything. They aren't even from around here."
Sound familiar to anyone?
The apostle John came up to Jesus one day. "Jesus", he said, "I was walking down the road with the rest of the disciples, and we saw someone casting out demons in your name. We tried to stop him because we don't know who he is; we tried to stop him because he's not one of us.

Every minute 47 Bibles are sold or distributed throughout the world.

Thought for the week: "Obstacles are only what you see when you take your eyes off the goal." - Anonymous

Habits are first cobwebs, then cables. Spanish proverb

If we analyze Lincoln's Gettysburg Address, that address contains 362 words and 302 of them are one syllable. It's simple and direct but powerful and effective.

"There ain't no free lunches in this country. And don't go spending your whole life commiserating that you got the raw deals. You've got to say, 'I think that if I keep working at this and want it bad enough I can have it.' It's called perseverance." -- Lee Iacocca

September 20

"A life is not measured by years lived, but by its usefulness. If you are giving, loving, serving, helping, encouraging, and adding value to others, then you're living a life that counts." -- John Maxwell

"One person with passion is better than 40 who are merely interested." -- Thomas Connellan

"The important point to remember is that for the government to give, it must first take away." -- John S. Coleman

"If you want to be happy for a year, plant a garden; If you want to be happy for life, plant a tree." -- English Proverb

"Be careful the environment you choose for it will shape you; be careful the friends you choose for you will become like them." -- W. Clement Stone

"Some of the best tasting and nutrient rich fruits are rather small. We don't need to do big things; we just need to do things that bear fruit." -- Ray Lammie

"I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one." -- Maya Angelou

"During a stay with grandparents, my five-year-old niece Michaela pulled corn on a neighbor's farm for the first time. Her grandparents used the experience as a teaching tool, explaining to Michaela that the corn was God's blessing to them. At first, the work was great fun, but after only a few minutes Michaela looked at her grandmother and commented, 'You know you can buy this in the grocery store, don't you?'"

It is still true. For want of a quiet, caring intimacy, a child's primary sense of self-worth is lost. And for want of security and self-worth, the child is lost. In most churches I've known, members find it quite easy to pass a youth by; they are more timid to engage a child than a stranger in conversation. Frequently, when youth are on committees, little sensitivity is expressed toward making them comfortable and enabling them to contribute.


Borrowed Faith Has No Power
Somewhere recently I read this statement: "Most of the 500 wealthiest Americans got their money the old-fashioned way: they inherited it." That may be the case with money, but it is not true with the most important things in life. It's not true of character. Of course we are influenced by character by our parents, but our own character is our own doing by our own choices and the way we choose to live.
We may inherit money, but we do not inherit faith. Someone put it in a catchy line, "God has no grandchildren." Faith needs to be first-hand, personal, and appropriated by each person. Too many of us are seeking to live on borrowed faith. The 500 wealthiest Americans may have received their wealth the old-fashioned say--by inheriting it--but we don't obtain character and faith that way. These are not inherited--they are personally claimed and cultivated.

Take time to think--it is the source of power.
Take time to play--it is the secret of perpetual youth.
Take time to read--it is the fountain of wisdom.
Take time to pray--it is the greatest power on earth.
Take time to love and be loved--it is a God-given privilege.
Take time to be friendly--it is the road to happiness.
Take time to laugh--it is the music of the soul.
Take time to give--it is too short a day to be selfish.
Take time to work--it is the price of success. Author Unknown.

Thoughts of a Blood Donor
I gave my blood; Christ gave His.
I gave a pint; He gave all.
The needle was small and sharp; the nails were large and dull.
The table was soft and relaxing; the cross rough and painful.
The nurses were kind and gentle; the soldiers were cruel and mean.
The crowd applauds my sacrifice; they that passed by reviled Him.
Mine is O positive; His for positively all.
Mine, at best, will prolong a life for a while;
His, without doubt, can save all forever.

A persistent judgment leveled against parents today is this: they gladly provide their children with every resource: Leaders, coaches, teachers, tutors, and youth workers. Certainly children should be happy and well-adjusted. They have everything money can buy. But they do not have the listening ear of Mom and Dad. "Too busy, later, not now, I'm working hard for your good." Recall the old saying:
"For the want of a nail the shoe was lost;
for the want of a shoe the horse was lost;
for the want of a horse the rider was lost;
for the want of the rider the battle was lost."

The mediocre teacher tells. The good teacher explains.
The superior teacher demonstrates. The great teacher inspires.
William A. Ward


Why God Will Never Get Tenure at Any University
1. Only published one book.
2. It was in Hebrew.
3. It had no references.
4. He did not publish it in referenced journals.
5. Some doubt He even wrote it Himself.
6. He is not known for His cooperative work.
7. Sure, He created the world, but what has He done lately?
8. He did not get permission from any review board to work with human subjects.
9. When one experiment went awry, He tried to cover it up by drowning all the subjects.
10. When sample subjects do not behave as predicted, He deletes the whole sample.
11. He rarely comes to class-just tells His students to read the Book.
12. It is rumored that He sometimes lets His Son teach the class.
13. Although He only has 10 requirements, His students often fail His tests.
14. He expelled His first two students for learning.
15. His office hours were infrequent and usually held on a mountain top.

Great website: http://ebizarre.com/

Life is a matter of building. Each of us has the opportunity to build something -- a secure family, a good reputation, a career, a relationship to God. But some of those things can disappear almost overnight due to financial losses, natural disasters and other unforeseen difficulties.

What are we to do? Daniel Webster offered excellent advice, saying, "If we work on marble it will perish. If we work on brass, time will efface it. If we rear temples, they will crumble to dust. But if we work on men's immortal minds, if we imbue them with high principles, with just fear of God and love of their fellow-men, we engrave on those tablets something which time cannot efface, and which will brighten and brighten to all eternity.

A group of European theologians once visited Mother Teresa in Calcutta. She said to them, "You try to do what I am doing, then you will be able to enjoy what I am doing." She took them to one of her childcare centers and picked up a child who was playing in the mud and gave the child a kiss. She waited for her guests to do the same. None of them did.

I have suffered from being misunderstood, but I would have suffered a lot more if I had been understood." Famous Trial Lawyer Clarence Darrow

A Father and his small son were out walking one day when the lad asked how electricity could go through the wires stretched between the telephone poles. "I don't know," said his father. "I never knew much about electricity." A few blocks farther on, the boy asked what caused lightning and thunder. "That too has puzzled me," came the reply. The youngster continued to inquire about many things, none of which the father could explain. Finally, as they were nearing home, the boy said, "Pop, I hope you didn't mind all those questions." "Not at all," replied his father. "How else are you going to learn!


Gambling Addiction and Seniors
As many as one in 10 seniors may be addicted to gambling, according to some researchers. Even a small loss at a slot machine or bingo table could mean financial trouble for those on a fixed income. "When we talk about gambling for this age group, it isn't just going to a casino, but it's also things like lottery, sweepstakes, that kind of thing," said Dr. Dennis McNeilly, associate professor of psychiatry at the University of Nebraska Medical Center. McNeilly indicated that what some senior citizens see as entertainment may end up being a path to addiction. Some signs to look for are: cashing in life insurance, asking for money to pay for everyday expenses and neglecting personal needs and family. [CitizenLink.com]

Having exchanged Biblical Correctness for Political Correctness, we are in the process (like the frog in the kettle) of slowly but surely self-destructing."

"Destiny is not a matter of chance, it's a matter of choice; it is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved." -- William Jennings Bryan

"You can learn new things at any time in your life if you're willing to be a beginner. If you actually learn to like being a beginner, the whole world opens up to you. -- Barbara Sher

"Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless." -- Mother Teresa

"A government big enough to give you everything you want, is big enough to take away everything you have" -- Thomas Jefferson

Sign on an Irish gate: "Farmer allows walkers across the field for free, but the bull charges."

September 13

New Church Bulletin Bloopers
*Next Friday we will be serving hot gods for lunch.
*If you would like to make a donation, fill out a form, enclose a check and drip in the collection basket.
*Women's Luncheon: Each member bring a sandwich. Polly Phillips will give the medication.
*Karen's beautiful solo: "It is Well With My Solo."
*Congratulations to Tim and Ronda on the birth of their daughter October 12 thru 17.
*If you choose to heave during the Postlude, please do so quietly.
*We are grateful for the help of those who cleaned up the grounds around the church building and the rector.
*Hymn: "I Love Thee My Ford."
*Sign-up sheet for anyone wishing to be water baptized on the table in the foyer.
*Newsletters are not being sent to absentees because of their weight.
*Helpers are needed! Please sign up on the information sheep.
*The Advent Retreat will be held in the lover level of St. Mary's Cathedral.
*The District Duperintendent will be meeting with the church boared.
*As soon as the weather clears up, the men will have a goof outing.
*Fifth Sinday is Lent.
*Thank you, dead friends.
*Diana and Don request your presents at their wedding.
*Lent is a period for preparing for Holy Weed and Easter.
*Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget all His benefits.
*For the word of God is quick and powerful...piercing even to the dividing asunder of soup and spirit.
*Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peach to men.

"Our joy will be complete if we remain in his love--for his love is personal, intimate, real, living, delicate, faithful love." - Mother Teresa

* I have a sign in the mirror of my room I see it every morning in my groggy condition, when I first wake up: WHAT HAVE YOU GOT GOING TODAY, GOD? I'D LIKE TO BE A PART OF IT. THANKS FOR LOVING ME.

I have to find my place in God's plans, rather than make my own little plans and then ask God to support them: "Come on, God, give me an A in this course. Come on, God, do this for me." Instead, I pray, "What have you got going today, God? You love this world. You loved this world into life. You created this world. We're all yours. What's my part in the drama? What part do you want me to play? I will play any part you say. Want me to be a success? I'll be a success for you. Want me to be a failure? I'll fail for you. Whatever you want." That's the condition of successful prayer. -- John Powell, "Prayer as Surrender"

Many Different Christs Are Offered
Marva Dawn in Reaching Out without Dumbing Down suggests the possibility of different christs today when she writes: At the 1987 Vancouver World's Fair, the Christian pavilion's presentation utilized glitzy double-reversed photography and flashing lasers. When I tried to explain my qualms about the production to an attendant who had asked me how I liked their "show," she protested that it had saved many people. I asked, "Saved by what kind of Christ?" If people are saved by a spectacular Christ, will they find him in the fumbling of their own devotional life or in the humble services of local parishes where pastors and organists make mistakes? Will a glitzy portrayal of Christ nurture in new believers his character of willing suffering and sacrificial obedience? Will it create an awareness of the idolatries of our age and lead to repentance? And does a flashy, hard-rock sound track bring people to a Christ who calls us away from the world's superficiality to deeper reflection and meditation? [p. 50]

Leonard Bernstein, the celebrated orchestra conductor, was asked, what is the hardest instrument to play. He replied without hesitation: "Second fiddle. I can always get plenty of first violinists, but to find one who plays second violin with as much enthusiasm or second French horn or second flute, now that's a problem. And yet if no one plays second, we have no harmony."

September 7

** Douglas Taylor-Weiss, rector of St. Andrew's Episcopal Church in Dayton, Ohio, has proposed a new set of Ten Commandments based on his observations of our culture: [From Martin Marty in Context]
"1. Have a good day. 2. Shop. 3. Eliminate pain.
4. Be up-to-date. 5. Relax. 6. Express yourself.
7. Have a happy family. 8. Be entertaining. 9. Be entertained.
10. Buy entertainment. OH--He forgot #11. Get in touch with your feelings.

"Pay no attention to what the critics say. A statue has never been erected in honor of a critic." - Jean Sibelius (1865-1957), Finnish composer

God didn't put me on earth just to fulfill a to-do list. He's more interested in what I am than what I do. That's why we're called human beings, not human doings.

Happy moments, PRAISE GOD.
Difficult moments, SEEK GOD.
Quiet moments, WORSHIP GOD.
Painful moments, TRUST GOD.
Every moment, THANK GOD.


Thoughts of Godly Wisdom
** Never confuse the will of the majority with the will of God. -- Charles Colson

** The modern myth of power has gravely impoverished our civilization. It has deprived it of all values that lie beyond the search for power. The beautiful, the good, the true cannot be weighed and measured. True knowledge is spiritual knowledge, which is beyond the reach of the world of quantity and therefore is disregarded by our civilization. -- Paul Tournier in The Whole Person in a Broken World

** A Luther Moment: I have held many things in my hands, and I have lost them all; but whatever I have placed in God's hands, that I still possess.

** Whenever God touches sin it is independence that is touched, and that awakens resentment in the human heart. Independence must be blasted clean out, there must be no such thing left, only freedom, which is very different. Freedom is the ability not to insist on my rights, but to see that God gets His. - Oswald Chambers

You cannot help the poor by destroying the rich.
You cannot strengthen the weak by weakening the strong.
You cannot bring about prosperity by discouraging thrift.
You cannot lift the wage earner up by pulling the wage payer down.
You cannot further the brotherhood of man by inciting class hatred.
You cannot build character and courage by taking away people's initiative and independence.
You cannot help people permanently by doing for them, what they could and should do for themselves.
......Abraham Lincoln

"All the darkness in the world cannot put out the light of one small candle." -- Anonymous

"Don't be afraid to go out on a limb. That's where the fruit is." -- Anonymous

"We may or may not have been responsible for our addictions, but we are responsible for our recovery." -- Anonymous

"You will know the truth and the truth will set you free." -- Jesus Christ

"Admitting that I have a problem and need help is the beginning point of overcoming any problem." -- DI

** Our society is not a community radiant with the love of Christ, but a dangerous network of domination and manipulation in which we can easily get entangled and lose our soul. The basic question is whether we ministers of Jesus Christ have not already been so deeply molded by the seductive powers of our dark world that we have become blind to our own and other people's fatal state and have lost our power and motivation to swim for our lives. -- Henri J. M. Nouwen** Humility is the key to experiencing God's power. –Jim Cymbala, Brooklyn Tabernacle

** To applaud the will of God, to do the will of God, even to fight for the will of God is not difficult ... until it comes at cross-purposes with our will. Then the lines are drawn. –Richard J. Foster, in Leadership


Keep me, Lord, from ever hardening down into the state of being just another average Christian. A. W. Tozer

Have you ever thought that life is a car wash, and you're on a bike?

** Along with much bad thinking that has come down to us from the last four hundred years, goes split living. ... People who live compartmentalized lives worship God and go to church and do their "religious" bit on Sundays; then they switch that off and pursue their professions, weekday work, weekend hobbies, and all their relationships as though these were matters entirely separate from their Christian commitment. They don't even try to see their lives as a whole in terms of God and his Word. Instead they slip into their religious compartment on Sundays and their secular compartment of the other days of the week and allow no communication between the two. -- J.I. Packer

** Our society wrestles with many passionate social movements, including pleas for tolerance. But the capacity to know the difference between tolerance and intolerance seems in short supply. Most of us cannot think far past our provincial interests and pet theorems. We need intolerance for our troublesome biases and tolerance for whatever is straight, though it may come from our most needling adversaries. We are often dragged, kicking and screaming, into enlightenment by the Spirit who best mends our slothful thinking. It is not intolerant to reject falsehood, neither are we tolerant when we warmly appraise and accept screwy ideas. But in our wise intolerance we must not lose our love; and in our tolerance we must not give away our souls.-- Lloyd H. Ahlem

Why does God bring thunderclouds and disasters when we want green pastures and still waters? Bit by bit we find, behind the clouds, the Father's feet; behind the lightning, an abiding day that has no night; behind the thunder, "a still small voice" that comforts with a comfort that is unspeakable. The whole claim of the redemption of Jesus is that He can satisfy the last aching abyss of the human soul, not only hereafter, but here and now.
--Oswald Chambers

August 30

Jesus Christ is not valued at all until he is valued above all.

"We are called to be not the honey of the world but the salt of the earth. Salt stings on an open wound, but it also saves one from gangrene." - Donald Bloesch

After a very long and boring sermon the parishioners filed out of the church saying nothing to the preacher. Towards the end of the line was a thoughtful person who always commented on the sermons."Pastor, today your sermon reminded me of the peace and love of God."
The pastor was thrilled. "Nobody has ever said anything like that about my preaching before. Tell me why."
"Because it endured forever

- Education is when you read the fine print. Experience is what you get if you don't. Pete Seeger
- Grandchildren don't stay young forever, which is good because Granddaddies have only so many horsey rides in them. ~Gene Perret
- "If you don't know where you are going, you will wind up somewhere else!" ~Lawrence "Yogi" Berra

Laughter is like changing a baby's diaper: It doesn't permanently solve any problems, but it makes things more acceptable for awhile. --Author Unknown

At a local coffee shop, a young woman was expounding on her idea of the perfect mate to some of her friends. "The man I marry must be a shining light amongst company. He must be musical. Tell jokes. Sing. And stay home at night!"
A little old lady at the next table overheard and spoke up, "Girl, what you just described, is my computer."

Tom was so excited about his promotion to Vice-President of the company he worked for and kept bragging about it to his wife for weeks on end. Finally she couldn't take it any longer, and told him, "Listen, it means nothing, they even have a vice president of prunes at our grocery store!"
"I doubt that!" he said. Peeved, because he was not sure if this was true or not, Tom decided to call the grocery store.
A clerk answers and Tom says, "Can I please talk to the Vice-President of prunes?"
The clerk replies, "Sure, Canned or Dried?"

When we think of Church we have to think of a body of people, traveling together. We have to envision women, men, and children of all ages, races, and societies supporting one another on their long and often tiresome journeys to their final home. Henry Nouwen

I was reluctant to marry my wife because of her lack of good taste in men.


The Church is the people of God. The Latin word for "church," ecclesia, comes from the Greek ek, which means "out," and kaleo, which means "to call."

The Church is the people of God called out of slavery to freedom, sin to salvation, despair to hope, darkness to light, an existence centered on death to an existence focused on life. Henry Nouwen

Cornford's Law: Nothing is ever done until everyone is convinced that it ought to be done, and has been convinced for so long that it is now time to do something else.

"Christians don't work in order to go to heaven; they work because they are going to heaven. Arrogance and fear are replaced with gratitude and joy." - Max L. Lucado

The Shoeshine Boy - A certain downtown businessman became fond of the little boy who shined his shoes every day. He did such a good job that one day the businessman asked him, "Son, how come you are so conscientious about your work?" The boy felt complimented. He looked up to the man, and said, "Mister, I'm a Christian and I try to shine every pair of shoes as if Jesus Christ were wearing them."
The businessman saw something genuine in the shoeshine boy. Soon after that he began reading his Bible. When he decided to be a Christian himself, he credited his decision to the little boy who shined every pair of shoes "as if Jesus Christ were wearing them." That's a blessing.

The queen of Sheba came to visit Solomon, and one day she put him to the test. She brought artificial flowers so perfectly formed that no human eye could detect them from real flowers. She put them in a vase on Solomon's table, in his throne room next to his flowers. As he came in, the queen of Sheba is reported to have said, "Solomon, you are the wisest man in the world. Tell me without touching these flowers, which are real and which are artificial." It is said that Solomon studied the flowers for a long time and spoke nothing, until finally he said, "Open the windows and let the bees come in."

There are ways to tell the artificial from the real-let the bees come in; they will know where the real is. If we live with the authentic Jesus long enough, we will recognize the artificial when we see it.

"Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something."- --Plato

Jesus makes it clear that Clean Hearts are More Important than Clean Hands.

It is a remarkable thing that Jesus never wrote a book or drew up a creed. He was at no pains to record his own thoughts in unalterable writing, nor did he impart to his disciples a common set of articles of faith, logically and unmistakably linked together, which they were to hold and to teach. He would have little sympathy for the modern attempts to standardize the theology of men. He did not put his thoughts into articles of faith, which men must sign--he put them into actions, which men must do. His great word was not "This say," but "This do." He has not commanded us to repeat creeds, but to perform deeds; not to recite, but to do the will of the Father.

Fruits or Roots: Dr. Vance pointed out that there are two ways of investigating a tree, one by plucking the fruit it bears and tasting it-the other by digging up the tree and making a microscopic examination of its roots. "The fruit method feeds the world, the root method kills the tree. Jesus did not say, "By their roots you shall know them." He did say, "By their fruits you shall know them."

A young coed being interviewed on television about her religious beliefs said, "Oh yes, I believe in God, but I'm not nuts about Him." According to the Gallup Poll that is a good description of how most Americans feel about God. Ninety-four percent of us believe in God. When it comes to translating that belief into action, however, most of us are clearly not nuts about Him.

** Never confuse the will of the majority with the will of God. -- Charles Colson

"Life is too short to spend your precious time trying to convince a person who wants to live in gloom and doom otherwise. Give lifting that person your best shot, but don't hang around long enough for his or her bad attitude to pull you down. Instead, surround yourself with optimistic people."-- Zig Ziglar

TODAY'S UPLIFTING STORY
Chocolate may contain a chemical that makes one feel loved but when it comes to comfort foods, people also like soup or mom's pot roast. That's according to a survey of 1,005 consumers, conducted by University of Illinois researchers, which found women prefer chocolate and cookies while men gravitate toward soup, pizza and pasta.

Discovering too late that a watermelon spiked with vodka had accidentally been served to a luncheon meeting of local ministers, the restaurant's owner waited nervously for the clerics' reaction.
"Quick, man," he whispered to the waiter, "what did they say?"
"Nothing," replied the waiter. "They were all too busy slipping the seeds into their pockets."