November 1
"When men believe God, they speak boldly. When they doubt, they confer." -- A.W. Tozer
"Worry doesn't help tomorrow's troubles, but it does ruin today's happiness." -- Unknown.
A bishop of Sweden once said… “Saints are those who make it easier for us to believe in God."
Robert Louis Stevenson said.. "Saints are sinners who keep on going."
A saint is one who is faithful in all circumstances, one whose identity is not shaken by the daily circumstances, the ups and downs of life.
"And There will be Three"
The newly wed wife said to her husband when he returned from work: "I have great news for you. Pretty soon we're going to be three in this house instead of two."
The husband started glowing with happiness and kissing his wife said: "Oh darling, I'm the happiest man in the world."
But then she said: "I'm glad that you feel that way because tomorrow morning my mother
moves in with us."
"Much of our difficulty as seeking Christians stems from our unwillingness to take God as He is and adjust our lives accordingly. We insist upon trying to modify Him and to bring Him nearer to our own image." - A.W. Tozer
The average ear of corn has eight-hundred kernels arranged in sixteen rows.
It runs more pages than War and Peace, has nearly five times as many words as the Torah, and its tables of contents alone run far longer than this story. The House health care bill unveiled Thursday clocks in at 1,990 pages and about 400,000 words. With an estimated 10-year cost of $894 billion, that comes out to about $2.24 million per word. .
"Pray For Me" One Sunday in church, a young child was "acting up" during the morning worship hour. The parents did their best to maintain some sense of order in the pew but were losing the battle. Finally, the father picked the little fellow up and walked sternly up the aisle on his way out. Just before reaching the safety of the foyer, the little one called loudly to the congregation, "Pray for me! Pray for me!"
It doesn't do much good to put your best foot forward if you are dragging the other one.
"Leaders must be close enough to relate to others, but far enough ahead to motivate them." - John Maxwell
The "But first... Syndrome" (Author Unknown)
The scientific world is frantically searching for a cure. There is an ailment many of us suffer from and many have not, as yet, been diagnosed. However, now you may be able to discuss it with your loved ones and try to explain what really happened to you all those times you tried so hard to accomplish something and didn't.
It's called the "But first...Syndrome." It's like when I decide to do the laundry. I start down the hall and notice the newspaper on the table. Okay, I'm going to do the laundry - But first I'm going to read the newspaper. After that, I notice the mail on the table. Okay, I'll just put the newspaper in the recycle stack, But first I'll look through that pile of mail and see if there are any bills to be paid. Now where's the checkbook?
Oops! There's the empty glass from yesterday on the coffee table. I'm going to look for that checkbook, But first I need to put the glass in the sink.
I head for the kitchen, look out the window, notice my poor flowers need a drink of water. I put the glass in the sink, and darn it, there's the remote for the TV on the kitchen counter. What's it doing here? I'll just put it away, But first I need to water those plants.
Head for door and Ack! I stepped on the dog. The dog needs to be fed. Okay, I'll put that remote away and water the plants. But first I need to feed the dog.
At the end of day: Laundry is not done, Newspapers are still on the floor, Glass is still in the sink, Bills are unpaid, Checkbook is still missing, The dog ate the remote control. AND, when I try to figure out how come nothing got done all day, I'm baffled, because I KNOW I was BUSY ALL DAY!
I realize this condition is serious....and I should get help, But first I think I'll read all my e-mail.
Wouldn't the world be different if we treated the Bible the way we treat our cell phones:
. What if we carried it around in our purses or pockets?
. What if we turned back to go get it if we forgot it?
. What if we flipped through it several times a day?
. What if we used it to receive messages?
. What if we treated it like we couldn't live without it?
. What if we gave it to kids as gifts?
. What if we used it as we traveled?
. What if we used it in case of an emergency?
. What if we upgraded it to get the latest version?
This is something to make you go...hmmm...where is my Bible?
Oh, and one more thing. Unlike our cell phones, we don't ever have to worry about our bible being disconnected because Jesus already paid the bill!
Computer Terms, Defined by Rednecks:
Hard Drive: Getting home in mud season.
Mouse: What eats the horses' grain in the barn.
BAR CODE: Them's the fight'n rules down at the local tavern
SUPERCONDUCTOR: Amtrak's Employee of the year
CHIP: Pasture muffins that you try not to step in
Infrared: Where the leftovers go when Fred's around.
KEYBOARD: Where you hang the keys to the John Deere
MODEM: What ya did when the grass and weeds got too tall
HARDCOPY: Picture looked at when selecting tattoos
MEGAHERTZ: How your head feels after 17 beers
What Retirees Do
Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days interesting. Well for example, the other day my wife and I went into town and went into a shop. We were only in there for about 5 minutes. When we came out, there was a cop writing out a parking ticket. We went up to him and said, "Come on man, how about giving a senior citizen a break?" He ignored us and continued writing the ticket. I called him a looser. He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having worn tires. So my wife called him a Nazi. He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket. This went on for about 20 minutes. The more we abused him, the more tickets he wrote. Personally, we didn't care, our car was parked around the corner. And the car he was writing up had a "HILLARY IN 2008" on it. We try to have a little fun each day now that we are retired. It's important at our age.
Encouragement
"Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching."1
Even if you are aware of why geese fly in ">" formation, it is a good reminder for us humans. As each bird flaps its wings, it creates uplift for the bird immediately following. By doing this, the whole flock adds at least 71 percent greater flying range than if each bird flew on its own.
When a goose falls out of formation, it suddenly feels the drag and resistance of trying to go it alone—and quickly gets back into formation to take advantage of the lifting power of the bird in front.
When the head goose gets tired, it rotates back and another goose flies point. Also, the following geese honk from behind to encourage those up front to keep on keeping on and to keep up their speed.
Also, when a goose gets sick or is wounded by gunshot, and falls out of formation, two other geese fall out with that goose and follow it down to lend help and protection. They stay with the fallen goose until it is able to fly or until it dies, and only then do they launch out on their own, or with another formation to catch up with their group.
We would do well to follow the example of the geese.
Prayer: "Dear God, please help me to be a good team member to lead when it is my turn, and to be a good follower and encourager when another is taking the lead. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus' name, amen."
Life Sayings from Country Folks
- Life is not about how fast you run, or how high you climb, but how well you bounce.
- Don't skinny dip with snapping turtles.
- Words that soak into your ears are whispered, not yelled.
- Forgive your enemies. It messes with their heads.
- You can catch more flies with honey than vinegar, assuming you want to catch flies.
- Man is the only critter who feels the need to label things as flowers or weeds.
- It don't take a very big person to carry a grudge.
- You can't unsay a cruel thing.
- When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty.
Translations of Help Wanted Ads
Energetic self-starter: You'll be working on commission.
Entry level position: We will pay you the lowest wages allowed by law.
Experience required: We do not know the first thing about any of this.
Fast learner: You will get no training from us.
Flexible work hours: You will frequently work long overtime hours.
Good organizational skills: You'll be handling the filing.
Make an investment in you future: This is a franchise or a pyramid scheme.
Management training position: You'll be a salesperson with a wide territory.
Much client contact: You handle the phone or make "cold calls" on clients.
Must have reliable transportation: You will be required to break speed limits.
Must be able to lift 50 pounds: We offer no health insurance or chiropractors.
Opportunity of a lifetime: You will not find a lower salary for so much work.
Planning and coordination: You book the bosses travel arrangements.
Quick problem solver: You will work on projects months behind schedule already.
Strong communication skills: You will write tons of documentation and letters.
USING THE RIGHT WORDS
Mark Twain once said that the difference between the right word and the nearly right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug. In other words, it's huge. What we say and don't say ... matters. Words have the power to heal and to hurt. They have the ability to win people over or wound them for years to come. It's very important that we choose our words wisely. ... God can help us with that if we ask Him. --John Hull and Tim Elmore
Thought for Today "Much of our difficulty as seeking Christians stems from our unwillingness to take God as He is and adjust our lives accordingly. We insist upon trying to modify Him and to bring Him nearer to our own image." - A.W. Tozer
Theodore Roosevelt's ideas on Immigrants and being an AMERICAN in 1907.
"In the first place, we should insist that if the immigrant who comes here in good faith becomes an American and assimilates himself to us, he shall be treated on an exact equality with everyone else, for it is an outrage to discriminate against any such man because of creed, or birthplace, or origin. But this is predicated upon the person's becoming in every facet an American, and nothing but an American...There can be no divided allegiance here. Any man who says he is an American, but something else also, isn't an American at all. We have room for but one flag, the American flag... We have room for but one language here, and that is the English language... and we have room for but one sole loyalty and that is a loyalty to the American people." Theodore Roosevelt 1907
- The marvels of today's modern technology include the soda can, which when discarded, will last forever and a $20,000 car, which when properly cared for will rust out in two or three years.
- I'm not bossy, I just know what you should be doing.
- Many a good man has failed because he had his wishbone where his backbone should have been.
- Laughter is an instant vacation.
- You can lead a man to Congress, but you can't make him think.
- Get the facts first. You can distort them later.
- He's the kind of man you would use as a blueprint to build an idiot.
- Money doesn't bring you happiness, but it enables you to look for it in more places.
- Misers aren't much fun to live with, but they make great ancestors.
- Be careful what rut you choose. You may be in it the rest of your life.
- A closed mouth gathers no feet.
- Money isn't everything....there's credit cards, money orders, and travelers checks.
Sign at animal shelter: Children left unattended will be given a puppy or a kitten.
"Worry doesn't help tomorrow's troubles, but it does ruin today's happiness." -- Unknown.
A bishop of Sweden once said… “Saints are those who make it easier for us to believe in God."
Robert Louis Stevenson said.. "Saints are sinners who keep on going."
A saint is one who is faithful in all circumstances, one whose identity is not shaken by the daily circumstances, the ups and downs of life.
"And There will be Three"
The newly wed wife said to her husband when he returned from work: "I have great news for you. Pretty soon we're going to be three in this house instead of two."
The husband started glowing with happiness and kissing his wife said: "Oh darling, I'm the happiest man in the world."
But then she said: "I'm glad that you feel that way because tomorrow morning my mother
moves in with us."
"Much of our difficulty as seeking Christians stems from our unwillingness to take God as He is and adjust our lives accordingly. We insist upon trying to modify Him and to bring Him nearer to our own image." - A.W. Tozer
The average ear of corn has eight-hundred kernels arranged in sixteen rows.
It runs more pages than War and Peace, has nearly five times as many words as the Torah, and its tables of contents alone run far longer than this story. The House health care bill unveiled Thursday clocks in at 1,990 pages and about 400,000 words. With an estimated 10-year cost of $894 billion, that comes out to about $2.24 million per word. .
"Pray For Me" One Sunday in church, a young child was "acting up" during the morning worship hour. The parents did their best to maintain some sense of order in the pew but were losing the battle. Finally, the father picked the little fellow up and walked sternly up the aisle on his way out. Just before reaching the safety of the foyer, the little one called loudly to the congregation, "Pray for me! Pray for me!"
It doesn't do much good to put your best foot forward if you are dragging the other one.
"Leaders must be close enough to relate to others, but far enough ahead to motivate them." - John Maxwell
The "But first... Syndrome" (Author Unknown)
The scientific world is frantically searching for a cure. There is an ailment many of us suffer from and many have not, as yet, been diagnosed. However, now you may be able to discuss it with your loved ones and try to explain what really happened to you all those times you tried so hard to accomplish something and didn't.
It's called the "But first...Syndrome." It's like when I decide to do the laundry. I start down the hall and notice the newspaper on the table. Okay, I'm going to do the laundry - But first I'm going to read the newspaper. After that, I notice the mail on the table. Okay, I'll just put the newspaper in the recycle stack, But first I'll look through that pile of mail and see if there are any bills to be paid. Now where's the checkbook?
Oops! There's the empty glass from yesterday on the coffee table. I'm going to look for that checkbook, But first I need to put the glass in the sink.
I head for the kitchen, look out the window, notice my poor flowers need a drink of water. I put the glass in the sink, and darn it, there's the remote for the TV on the kitchen counter. What's it doing here? I'll just put it away, But first I need to water those plants.
Head for door and Ack! I stepped on the dog. The dog needs to be fed. Okay, I'll put that remote away and water the plants. But first I need to feed the dog.
At the end of day: Laundry is not done, Newspapers are still on the floor, Glass is still in the sink, Bills are unpaid, Checkbook is still missing, The dog ate the remote control. AND, when I try to figure out how come nothing got done all day, I'm baffled, because I KNOW I was BUSY ALL DAY!
I realize this condition is serious....and I should get help, But first I think I'll read all my e-mail.
Wouldn't the world be different if we treated the Bible the way we treat our cell phones:
. What if we carried it around in our purses or pockets?
. What if we turned back to go get it if we forgot it?
. What if we flipped through it several times a day?
. What if we used it to receive messages?
. What if we treated it like we couldn't live without it?
. What if we gave it to kids as gifts?
. What if we used it as we traveled?
. What if we used it in case of an emergency?
. What if we upgraded it to get the latest version?
This is something to make you go...hmmm...where is my Bible?
Oh, and one more thing. Unlike our cell phones, we don't ever have to worry about our bible being disconnected because Jesus already paid the bill!
Computer Terms, Defined by Rednecks:
Hard Drive: Getting home in mud season.
Mouse: What eats the horses' grain in the barn.
BAR CODE: Them's the fight'n rules down at the local tavern
SUPERCONDUCTOR: Amtrak's Employee of the year
CHIP: Pasture muffins that you try not to step in
Infrared: Where the leftovers go when Fred's around.
KEYBOARD: Where you hang the keys to the John Deere
MODEM: What ya did when the grass and weeds got too tall
HARDCOPY: Picture looked at when selecting tattoos
MEGAHERTZ: How your head feels after 17 beers
What Retirees Do
Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days interesting. Well for example, the other day my wife and I went into town and went into a shop. We were only in there for about 5 minutes. When we came out, there was a cop writing out a parking ticket. We went up to him and said, "Come on man, how about giving a senior citizen a break?" He ignored us and continued writing the ticket. I called him a looser. He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having worn tires. So my wife called him a Nazi. He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket. This went on for about 20 minutes. The more we abused him, the more tickets he wrote. Personally, we didn't care, our car was parked around the corner. And the car he was writing up had a "HILLARY IN 2008" on it. We try to have a little fun each day now that we are retired. It's important at our age.
Encouragement
"Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching."1
Even if you are aware of why geese fly in ">" formation, it is a good reminder for us humans. As each bird flaps its wings, it creates uplift for the bird immediately following. By doing this, the whole flock adds at least 71 percent greater flying range than if each bird flew on its own.
When a goose falls out of formation, it suddenly feels the drag and resistance of trying to go it alone—and quickly gets back into formation to take advantage of the lifting power of the bird in front.
When the head goose gets tired, it rotates back and another goose flies point. Also, the following geese honk from behind to encourage those up front to keep on keeping on and to keep up their speed.
Also, when a goose gets sick or is wounded by gunshot, and falls out of formation, two other geese fall out with that goose and follow it down to lend help and protection. They stay with the fallen goose until it is able to fly or until it dies, and only then do they launch out on their own, or with another formation to catch up with their group.
We would do well to follow the example of the geese.
Prayer: "Dear God, please help me to be a good team member to lead when it is my turn, and to be a good follower and encourager when another is taking the lead. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus' name, amen."
Life Sayings from Country Folks
- Life is not about how fast you run, or how high you climb, but how well you bounce.
- Don't skinny dip with snapping turtles.
- Words that soak into your ears are whispered, not yelled.
- Forgive your enemies. It messes with their heads.
- You can catch more flies with honey than vinegar, assuming you want to catch flies.
- Man is the only critter who feels the need to label things as flowers or weeds.
- It don't take a very big person to carry a grudge.
- You can't unsay a cruel thing.
- When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty.
Translations of Help Wanted Ads
Energetic self-starter: You'll be working on commission.
Entry level position: We will pay you the lowest wages allowed by law.
Experience required: We do not know the first thing about any of this.
Fast learner: You will get no training from us.
Flexible work hours: You will frequently work long overtime hours.
Good organizational skills: You'll be handling the filing.
Make an investment in you future: This is a franchise or a pyramid scheme.
Management training position: You'll be a salesperson with a wide territory.
Much client contact: You handle the phone or make "cold calls" on clients.
Must have reliable transportation: You will be required to break speed limits.
Must be able to lift 50 pounds: We offer no health insurance or chiropractors.
Opportunity of a lifetime: You will not find a lower salary for so much work.
Planning and coordination: You book the bosses travel arrangements.
Quick problem solver: You will work on projects months behind schedule already.
Strong communication skills: You will write tons of documentation and letters.
USING THE RIGHT WORDS
Mark Twain once said that the difference between the right word and the nearly right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug. In other words, it's huge. What we say and don't say ... matters. Words have the power to heal and to hurt. They have the ability to win people over or wound them for years to come. It's very important that we choose our words wisely. ... God can help us with that if we ask Him. --John Hull and Tim Elmore
Thought for Today "Much of our difficulty as seeking Christians stems from our unwillingness to take God as He is and adjust our lives accordingly. We insist upon trying to modify Him and to bring Him nearer to our own image." - A.W. Tozer
Theodore Roosevelt's ideas on Immigrants and being an AMERICAN in 1907.
"In the first place, we should insist that if the immigrant who comes here in good faith becomes an American and assimilates himself to us, he shall be treated on an exact equality with everyone else, for it is an outrage to discriminate against any such man because of creed, or birthplace, or origin. But this is predicated upon the person's becoming in every facet an American, and nothing but an American...There can be no divided allegiance here. Any man who says he is an American, but something else also, isn't an American at all. We have room for but one flag, the American flag... We have room for but one language here, and that is the English language... and we have room for but one sole loyalty and that is a loyalty to the American people." Theodore Roosevelt 1907
- The marvels of today's modern technology include the soda can, which when discarded, will last forever and a $20,000 car, which when properly cared for will rust out in two or three years.
- I'm not bossy, I just know what you should be doing.
- Many a good man has failed because he had his wishbone where his backbone should have been.
- Laughter is an instant vacation.
- You can lead a man to Congress, but you can't make him think.
- Get the facts first. You can distort them later.
- He's the kind of man you would use as a blueprint to build an idiot.
- Money doesn't bring you happiness, but it enables you to look for it in more places.
- Misers aren't much fun to live with, but they make great ancestors.
- Be careful what rut you choose. You may be in it the rest of your life.
- A closed mouth gathers no feet.
- Money isn't everything....there's credit cards, money orders, and travelers checks.
Sign at animal shelter: Children left unattended will be given a puppy or a kitten.
posted by joypastordon at 3:46 PM
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