December 30
See if you recognize the songs:
"Oh, what fun it is to ride with one horse, soap and hay. . ."
"He's making a list, chicken and rice . . ."
"On the first day of Christmas, my tulip gave to me . . ."
"In the meadow we can build a snowman, and pretend that he is sparse and brown .
"Noel, Noel, Barney's the king of Israel . . ."
Did you hear about the family who owned an English pointer and an Irish setter? The dogs get together at Christmas time and have pointsetters.
Did you hear that one of Santa's reindeer now works for Proctor and Gamble?
Its true....Comet cleans sinks!
A teacher was sitting at her desk grading papers, when her first-grade class came back from lunch. Alice informed the teacher, "Paul has to go to the principal's office." "I wonder why," the teacher mused. "Because he's a following person," Alice replied. "A what?" the teacher asked. "It came over the loudspeaker: 'The following persons are to go to the
office'."
Preparing for a family vacation, my sister-in-law and her husband explained to their young children that they would be sitting in the car for a very long time. The kids were told they would not be arriving at their destination until after dark, and were warned not to keep saying,
"Are we there yet?" After a few minutes of peaceful driving, their five-year-old daughter asked, "Is it dark yet?"
He was born of earthly parentage. Though He was God, He became a man. He was the Ancient of Days, yet He was born at a point in time. He created worlds and companied with celestial beings, yet He came to live in a family setting on earth. --Henry Gariepy
An old, tired-looking dog wandered into the yard. I could tell from his collar and well-fed belly that he had a home. He followed me into the house, down the hall, and fell asleep in a corner. An hour later, he went to the door, and I let him out. The next day he was back, resumed his position in the hall, and slept for an hour. This continued for several weeks.
Curious, I pinned a note to his collar: "Every afternoon your dog comes to my house for a nap."
The next day he arrived with a different note pinned to his collar: "He lives in a home with ten children -- he's trying to catch up on his sleep. Can I come with him tomorrow?"
"I read this in the wall street journal today: The new trend in Christmas cards this year are 'DVD cards' - instead of a letter about your family and what you did this year, you put
your yearly memories on a DVD which I really enjoy getting, you know why? They make great coasters." --Jay Leno
An interesting adaptation of 1 Corinthians 13 for Christmas.
If I speak in the tongues of Christmas materialism and greed but have not love, I am only a tinny Christmas song or an out-of-tune choir.
If I have the gift of knowing what Aunt Agatha will give me this year and can even understand last year's present, and if I have the faith that I won't get yet more socks and ties this year but have not love, I am nothing.
If I clear out the house and give everything to charity and my credit cards are snapped in half but have not love, what can I possibly gain?
Love is patient when the fourth store you've tried doesn't have a bottle garden.
Love is kind and lets the couple with only a few items go in front of you and your bulging shopping cart.
Love does not envy your friend who gets mega-presents from everybody.
Love does not boast about the expensive bike, the PlayStation 3, the TV, VCR, and computer your dad gave you.
Love does not attempt to out-buy, out-wrap, and out-give the rest of the family just to impress.
Love doesn't cut Aunt Flo off your Christmas card list because she forgot you last year.
Love is not self-seeking and leaves a copy of your Christmas list in every room of the house.
Love is not easily angered when the young girl at the checkout takes forever because she is just temporary staff.
Love doesn't keep remembering how many times your mom forgets you don't like Brussels sprouts.
Love does not delight in the commercial bandwagon but rejoices with the
truth of a baby born in the stable.
Love always protects the family from Christmas hype.
Love always trusts that the hiding places for presents will remain secret
for another year.
Love always hopes that this year more neighbors will drop in to your open
house coffee morning.
Love always perseveres until the cards are written, the presents all bought,
the shopping done, and the Christmas cake iced.
Toys may break, socks wear thin, but love never fails.
Where there is the feeling of the presents to guess their contents, and Mom going on about being good so Father Christmas will come, and searching through the cupboards to find your hidden presents, they will all stop.
For we think we know what we are getting, and we hope we know what we are getting, but when Christmas Day arrives, all will be revealed.
When I was a child, I talked with big wide-open eyes about Christmas, I thought that Christmas was all about me, I reasoned that Jesus should have been born more often. When I became an adult, I forgot the joy, wonder, and excitement of this special time.
Now we just hear about the angels, shepherds, and wise men; then we shall see them all the time. Now I know as much as the Bible says about the first Christmas; then I shall know just how many wise men there were and where they came from.
Now three things remain to be done:
- To have faith that the baby born in a stable is the Son of God.
- To hope that the true message of Christmas will not get discarded with the wrapping paper and unwanted gifts.
- And the most important, to have a love for others like the love God has for us.
Seven Resolutions
I like a list of resolutions prepared by the Rev. Walter Schoedel. He calls them ‘7-UPS for the New Year.’ No, this has nothing to do with the soft drink. These 7-UPS fall under the heading of attitudes and actions.
The first is WAKE UP--Begin the day with the Lord. It is His day. Rejoice in it.
The second is DRESS-UP--Put on a smile. It improves your looks. It says something about your attitude.
The third is SHUT-UP--Watch your tongue. Don't gossip. Say nice things. Learn to listen.
The fourth is STAND-UP--Take a stand for what you believe. Resist evil. Do good.
Five, LOOK-UP--Open your eyes to the Lord. After all, He is your only Savior.
Six, REACH-UP--Spend time in prayer with your adorations, confessions, thanksgivings and supplications to the Lord.
And finally, LIFT-UP--Be available to help those in need--serving, supporting, and sharing.
If you're going to make New Year's resolutions this year, let me suggest these.
Why do we bother to make New Year's resolutions in the first place? Why do we feel this need each January 1 to set new goals? Maybe it is because resolutions help us to identify our priorities. They answer the Question: how do I want to invest my time, energy, money, and talents in this New Year? The New Year reminds us that time is passing. It is up to each of us to maximize the potential of every moment.
After Christmas, Lucy mutters, "Rats! Phooey! Everything is hopeless! Who cares?"
Charlie Brown asks, "Lucy, what in the world is the matter with you?"
Again she shouts, "Rats! Phooey!" The last cartoon shows her walking away only to turn and drop a casual comment to the puzzled Charlie Brown. "Of course you realize," she says, "that I'm just experiencing my regular, post-Christmas letdown."
SOME LITTLE KNOWN FACTS ABOUT SANTA’S ELVES…
And Why Christmas May Run a Little Late for Some of You This Year...
Santa's elves are really subordinate Clauses. As they make toys, they sing "Love Me Tender." That's why they're known as Santa's little Elvis. They feel that all their strenuous efforts getting ready for Christmas are just like a day at the office. They do all the work, and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit. And anytime he wishes, Santa can give them the sack. A group of rebellious elves -- along with their elf uncles and elf aunts -- have banded together to protest the terrible conditions they've been working under. They are known as the Santanistas -- and they're striving for higher elf esteem.
But wait! There’s more!
What's red and white and black all over? Santa Claus entering a home through a chimney. He loves sliding down chimneys because it soots him. But he actually has a fear of getting stuck. That fear is called Santa Claus-trophobia. The way to get him out of the chimney is to pour Santa Flush on him. Occasionally, Santa falls down a chimney. Then he's Santa Klutz. Since Santa has to go up and down a wide variety of chimneys on Christmas, should he have a yearly flue shot?
"You're never as good as everyone tells you when you win, and you're never as bad as they say when you lose." -- Lou Holt
One guy say he already dreads the new year. He said, "The holidays aren't quite over and already I'm about 90 days ahead on my calories and 90 days behind on my bills." Some of you can identify with him.
It's a classic Peanuts cartoon. Charlie Brown says to Lucy, “Someone has said that we should live each day as if it were the last day of our life."
"Aaugh!" cries Lucy. "This is the last day! This is it!" She dashes away screaming, “I only have 24 hours left! Help me! Help me! This is the last day! Aaugh!"
“Some philosophies," says Charlie Brown, “aren't for all people."
After a winter elementary school concert, a student came into her teacher's room and asked what "pet the ham" meant. When told the teacher had no idea, the little girl became upset and said, "You should know. They sang it at our program."
Still not understanding her, the teacher calmed her down and asked her to tell exactly where she heard it. She sang, "Follow that star, follow that star to pet the ham."
Are you "following that star to Bethlehem?" And if you are, are you following it for the right reasons?
In bygone days, a thin man insulted a large man. The large man challenged his tormentor to a duel with pistols.
On the day of the duel a debate ensued about the unfair advantage held by the thin man because he was a much smaller target. Finally the thin man came up with a solution.
"Let the outline of my figure be chalked upon your body," he said to his opponent, "and any shots of mine that hit outside the chalk lines, we won't count."
"Kierkegaard said that most of us read the Bible the way a mouse tries to remove the cheese from the trap without getting caught. Some of us have mastered that.
We read the story as though it were about someone else a long time ago; that way we don't get caught." – Maxie Dunnam
Knowledge Without Integrity
Long ago, Samuel Johnson said, "Integrity without knowledge is weak and useless, but knowledge without integrity is dangerous and dreadful." Warren Buffet updated that notion: "In looking for people to hire, look for three qualities: integrity, intelligence, and energy. But if they don't have the first, the other two will kill you." Michael Josephson in Character Counts
Longfellow's Christmas
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow was filled with sorrow at the tragic death of his wife in a fire in 1861. The Civil War broke out that same year, and it seemed this was additional
punishment. Two years later, Longfellow was once again saddened to hear that his son had been seriously wounded as a lieutenant in the Army of the Potomac.
Sitting down to his desk one Christmas Day, he heard the church bells ringing and ringing. It was in this setting he wrote:
I heard the bells on Christmas day,
Their old familiar carols play.
And mild and sweet the words repeat:
Of peace on earth, good will to men.
Sixty-six years before the birth of Christ, in an aristocratic community of Rome, a very important child was born. As soon as he arrived, a messenger raced into the Roman Senate and announced, “The next ruler of the world is born.” His name was Octavius, and he was destined to become the adopted son of Julius Caesar. He grew up in the palace. He was educated by the finest teachers of literature, philosophy and government. And at the age of 33 he was the uncontested ruler of the entire Roman Empire. He just had to give the word and armies would march and ships would sail. He just had to give the word and the world would move for him. The Senate gave him the name Emperor Augustus, meaning the exalted one, who reigned over the golden age of the empire.
When he was about 66 years old, “In those days a degree went out from Emperor Augustus that all the world should be registered.” It was during this census that another child was born in a very unimportant village, in a very unimportant part of the empire. No Roman messengers ran to announce his birth to the Senate. Instead, it was God’s own angelic messenger who announced the birth of Jesus Christ to the least of the inhabitants of the empire, a small band of shepherds watching over their sheep. “Do not be afraid; for see — I am bringing you good news of great joy for all the people: to you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, who is the Messiah, the Lord” (Luke 2:10-11).
This other child began his life in a humble manger, because there was no room for him in the normal places. He was raised not in a palace, but in a common Jewish home. He was not educated in literature and philosophy, but in carpentry. And at age 33, he ascended not to the reign of the Roman Empire, but to a Roman cross. “He was in the world, and the world came into being through him; yet the world did not know him. He came to what was his own, and his own people did not accept him” (John 1:10-11). No, we never did have much room for Jesus. That is why we killed him. But in that ultimate act of sacrifice for the sins of a dark world, Jesus became the King of a whole new kingdom that has long outlived every empire.
"Oh, what fun it is to ride with one horse, soap and hay. . ."
"He's making a list, chicken and rice . . ."
"On the first day of Christmas, my tulip gave to me . . ."
"In the meadow we can build a snowman, and pretend that he is sparse and brown .
"Noel, Noel, Barney's the king of Israel . . ."
Did you hear about the family who owned an English pointer and an Irish setter? The dogs get together at Christmas time and have pointsetters.
Did you hear that one of Santa's reindeer now works for Proctor and Gamble?
Its true....Comet cleans sinks!
A teacher was sitting at her desk grading papers, when her first-grade class came back from lunch. Alice informed the teacher, "Paul has to go to the principal's office." "I wonder why," the teacher mused. "Because he's a following person," Alice replied. "A what?" the teacher asked. "It came over the loudspeaker: 'The following persons are to go to the
office'."
Preparing for a family vacation, my sister-in-law and her husband explained to their young children that they would be sitting in the car for a very long time. The kids were told they would not be arriving at their destination until after dark, and were warned not to keep saying,
"Are we there yet?" After a few minutes of peaceful driving, their five-year-old daughter asked, "Is it dark yet?"
He was born of earthly parentage. Though He was God, He became a man. He was the Ancient of Days, yet He was born at a point in time. He created worlds and companied with celestial beings, yet He came to live in a family setting on earth. --Henry Gariepy
An old, tired-looking dog wandered into the yard. I could tell from his collar and well-fed belly that he had a home. He followed me into the house, down the hall, and fell asleep in a corner. An hour later, he went to the door, and I let him out. The next day he was back, resumed his position in the hall, and slept for an hour. This continued for several weeks.
Curious, I pinned a note to his collar: "Every afternoon your dog comes to my house for a nap."
The next day he arrived with a different note pinned to his collar: "He lives in a home with ten children -- he's trying to catch up on his sleep. Can I come with him tomorrow?"
"I read this in the wall street journal today: The new trend in Christmas cards this year are 'DVD cards' - instead of a letter about your family and what you did this year, you put
your yearly memories on a DVD which I really enjoy getting, you know why? They make great coasters." --Jay Leno
An interesting adaptation of 1 Corinthians 13 for Christmas.
If I speak in the tongues of Christmas materialism and greed but have not love, I am only a tinny Christmas song or an out-of-tune choir.
If I have the gift of knowing what Aunt Agatha will give me this year and can even understand last year's present, and if I have the faith that I won't get yet more socks and ties this year but have not love, I am nothing.
If I clear out the house and give everything to charity and my credit cards are snapped in half but have not love, what can I possibly gain?
Love is patient when the fourth store you've tried doesn't have a bottle garden.
Love is kind and lets the couple with only a few items go in front of you and your bulging shopping cart.
Love does not envy your friend who gets mega-presents from everybody.
Love does not boast about the expensive bike, the PlayStation 3, the TV, VCR, and computer your dad gave you.
Love does not attempt to out-buy, out-wrap, and out-give the rest of the family just to impress.
Love doesn't cut Aunt Flo off your Christmas card list because she forgot you last year.
Love is not self-seeking and leaves a copy of your Christmas list in every room of the house.
Love is not easily angered when the young girl at the checkout takes forever because she is just temporary staff.
Love doesn't keep remembering how many times your mom forgets you don't like Brussels sprouts.
Love does not delight in the commercial bandwagon but rejoices with the
truth of a baby born in the stable.
Love always protects the family from Christmas hype.
Love always trusts that the hiding places for presents will remain secret
for another year.
Love always hopes that this year more neighbors will drop in to your open
house coffee morning.
Love always perseveres until the cards are written, the presents all bought,
the shopping done, and the Christmas cake iced.
Toys may break, socks wear thin, but love never fails.
Where there is the feeling of the presents to guess their contents, and Mom going on about being good so Father Christmas will come, and searching through the cupboards to find your hidden presents, they will all stop.
For we think we know what we are getting, and we hope we know what we are getting, but when Christmas Day arrives, all will be revealed.
When I was a child, I talked with big wide-open eyes about Christmas, I thought that Christmas was all about me, I reasoned that Jesus should have been born more often. When I became an adult, I forgot the joy, wonder, and excitement of this special time.
Now we just hear about the angels, shepherds, and wise men; then we shall see them all the time. Now I know as much as the Bible says about the first Christmas; then I shall know just how many wise men there were and where they came from.
Now three things remain to be done:
- To have faith that the baby born in a stable is the Son of God.
- To hope that the true message of Christmas will not get discarded with the wrapping paper and unwanted gifts.
- And the most important, to have a love for others like the love God has for us.
Seven Resolutions
I like a list of resolutions prepared by the Rev. Walter Schoedel. He calls them ‘7-UPS for the New Year.’ No, this has nothing to do with the soft drink. These 7-UPS fall under the heading of attitudes and actions.
The first is WAKE UP--Begin the day with the Lord. It is His day. Rejoice in it.
The second is DRESS-UP--Put on a smile. It improves your looks. It says something about your attitude.
The third is SHUT-UP--Watch your tongue. Don't gossip. Say nice things. Learn to listen.
The fourth is STAND-UP--Take a stand for what you believe. Resist evil. Do good.
Five, LOOK-UP--Open your eyes to the Lord. After all, He is your only Savior.
Six, REACH-UP--Spend time in prayer with your adorations, confessions, thanksgivings and supplications to the Lord.
And finally, LIFT-UP--Be available to help those in need--serving, supporting, and sharing.
If you're going to make New Year's resolutions this year, let me suggest these.
Why do we bother to make New Year's resolutions in the first place? Why do we feel this need each January 1 to set new goals? Maybe it is because resolutions help us to identify our priorities. They answer the Question: how do I want to invest my time, energy, money, and talents in this New Year? The New Year reminds us that time is passing. It is up to each of us to maximize the potential of every moment.
After Christmas, Lucy mutters, "Rats! Phooey! Everything is hopeless! Who cares?"
Charlie Brown asks, "Lucy, what in the world is the matter with you?"
Again she shouts, "Rats! Phooey!" The last cartoon shows her walking away only to turn and drop a casual comment to the puzzled Charlie Brown. "Of course you realize," she says, "that I'm just experiencing my regular, post-Christmas letdown."
SOME LITTLE KNOWN FACTS ABOUT SANTA’S ELVES…
And Why Christmas May Run a Little Late for Some of You This Year...
Santa's elves are really subordinate Clauses. As they make toys, they sing "Love Me Tender." That's why they're known as Santa's little Elvis. They feel that all their strenuous efforts getting ready for Christmas are just like a day at the office. They do all the work, and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit. And anytime he wishes, Santa can give them the sack. A group of rebellious elves -- along with their elf uncles and elf aunts -- have banded together to protest the terrible conditions they've been working under. They are known as the Santanistas -- and they're striving for higher elf esteem.
But wait! There’s more!
What's red and white and black all over? Santa Claus entering a home through a chimney. He loves sliding down chimneys because it soots him. But he actually has a fear of getting stuck. That fear is called Santa Claus-trophobia. The way to get him out of the chimney is to pour Santa Flush on him. Occasionally, Santa falls down a chimney. Then he's Santa Klutz. Since Santa has to go up and down a wide variety of chimneys on Christmas, should he have a yearly flue shot?
"You're never as good as everyone tells you when you win, and you're never as bad as they say when you lose." -- Lou Holt
One guy say he already dreads the new year. He said, "The holidays aren't quite over and already I'm about 90 days ahead on my calories and 90 days behind on my bills." Some of you can identify with him.
It's a classic Peanuts cartoon. Charlie Brown says to Lucy, “Someone has said that we should live each day as if it were the last day of our life."
"Aaugh!" cries Lucy. "This is the last day! This is it!" She dashes away screaming, “I only have 24 hours left! Help me! Help me! This is the last day! Aaugh!"
“Some philosophies," says Charlie Brown, “aren't for all people."
After a winter elementary school concert, a student came into her teacher's room and asked what "pet the ham" meant. When told the teacher had no idea, the little girl became upset and said, "You should know. They sang it at our program."
Still not understanding her, the teacher calmed her down and asked her to tell exactly where she heard it. She sang, "Follow that star, follow that star to pet the ham."
Are you "following that star to Bethlehem?" And if you are, are you following it for the right reasons?
In bygone days, a thin man insulted a large man. The large man challenged his tormentor to a duel with pistols.
On the day of the duel a debate ensued about the unfair advantage held by the thin man because he was a much smaller target. Finally the thin man came up with a solution.
"Let the outline of my figure be chalked upon your body," he said to his opponent, "and any shots of mine that hit outside the chalk lines, we won't count."
"Kierkegaard said that most of us read the Bible the way a mouse tries to remove the cheese from the trap without getting caught. Some of us have mastered that.
We read the story as though it were about someone else a long time ago; that way we don't get caught." – Maxie Dunnam
Knowledge Without Integrity
Long ago, Samuel Johnson said, "Integrity without knowledge is weak and useless, but knowledge without integrity is dangerous and dreadful." Warren Buffet updated that notion: "In looking for people to hire, look for three qualities: integrity, intelligence, and energy. But if they don't have the first, the other two will kill you." Michael Josephson in Character Counts
Longfellow's Christmas
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow was filled with sorrow at the tragic death of his wife in a fire in 1861. The Civil War broke out that same year, and it seemed this was additional
punishment. Two years later, Longfellow was once again saddened to hear that his son had been seriously wounded as a lieutenant in the Army of the Potomac.
Sitting down to his desk one Christmas Day, he heard the church bells ringing and ringing. It was in this setting he wrote:
I heard the bells on Christmas day,
Their old familiar carols play.
And mild and sweet the words repeat:
Of peace on earth, good will to men.
Sixty-six years before the birth of Christ, in an aristocratic community of Rome, a very important child was born. As soon as he arrived, a messenger raced into the Roman Senate and announced, “The next ruler of the world is born.” His name was Octavius, and he was destined to become the adopted son of Julius Caesar. He grew up in the palace. He was educated by the finest teachers of literature, philosophy and government. And at the age of 33 he was the uncontested ruler of the entire Roman Empire. He just had to give the word and armies would march and ships would sail. He just had to give the word and the world would move for him. The Senate gave him the name Emperor Augustus, meaning the exalted one, who reigned over the golden age of the empire.
When he was about 66 years old, “In those days a degree went out from Emperor Augustus that all the world should be registered.” It was during this census that another child was born in a very unimportant village, in a very unimportant part of the empire. No Roman messengers ran to announce his birth to the Senate. Instead, it was God’s own angelic messenger who announced the birth of Jesus Christ to the least of the inhabitants of the empire, a small band of shepherds watching over their sheep. “Do not be afraid; for see — I am bringing you good news of great joy for all the people: to you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, who is the Messiah, the Lord” (Luke 2:10-11).
This other child began his life in a humble manger, because there was no room for him in the normal places. He was raised not in a palace, but in a common Jewish home. He was not educated in literature and philosophy, but in carpentry. And at age 33, he ascended not to the reign of the Roman Empire, but to a Roman cross. “He was in the world, and the world came into being through him; yet the world did not know him. He came to what was his own, and his own people did not accept him” (John 1:10-11). No, we never did have much room for Jesus. That is why we killed him. But in that ultimate act of sacrifice for the sins of a dark world, Jesus became the King of a whole new kingdom that has long outlived every empire.
posted by joypastordon at 10:33 AM
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