September Newsletter

The Trip Home
A pastor had been on a long flight between church conferences. The first warning of the approaching problems came when the sign on the airplane flashed on: Fasten Your Seat Belts. Then, after a while, a calm voice said, 'We shall not be serving the beverages at this time as we are expecting a little turbulence. Please be sure your seat belt is fastened.' As the pastor looked around the aircraft, it became obvious that many of the passengers were becoming apprehensive. Later, the voice on the intercom said, 'We are so sorry that we are unable to serve the meal at this time. The turbulence is still ahead of us.'
And then the storm broke.
The ominous cracks of thunder could be heard even above the roar of the engines. Lightning lit up the darkening skies, and within moments that great plane was like a cork tossed around on a celestial ocean. One moment the airplane was lifted on terrific currents of air; the next, it dropped as if it were about to crash. The pastor confessed that he shared the discomfort and fear of those around him. He said, 'As I looked around the plane, I could see that nearly all the passengers were upset and alarmed. Some were praying.
The future seemed ominous and many were wondering if they would make it through the storm.
'Then, I suddenly saw a little girl. Apparently the storm meant nothing to her. She had tucked her feet beneath her as she sat on her seat; she was reading a book and every- thing within her small world was calm and orderly.
'Sometimes she closed her eyes, then she would read again; then she would straighten her legs, but worry and fear were not in her world. When the plane was being buffeted by the terrible storm when it lurched this way and that, as it rose and fell with frightening severity, when all the adults were scared half to death, that marvelous child was completely composed and unafraid.' The minister could hardly believe his eyes.
It was not surprising therefore, that when the plane finally reached its destination and all the passengers were hurrying to disembark, our pastor lingered to speak to the girl whom he had watched for such a long time. Having commented about the storm and the behavior of the plane, he asked why she had not been afraid.
The child replied, 'Cause my Daddy's the pilot, and he's taking me home.'
There are many kinds of storms that buffet us. Physical, mental, financial, domestic, and many other storms can easily and quickly darken our skies and throw our plane into apparently uncontrollable movement. We have all known such times, and let us be honest and confess, it is much easier to be at rest when our feet are on the ground than when we are being tossed about a darkened sky.
Let us remember: Our Father is the Pilot.
He is in control and taking us home. Don't worry!
BIBLE VERSE Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I fear no evil; for you are with me; Psalm 23:4
PRAYER
Dear God, Thank you for taking care of me even in the storms of life. Amen


APHORISM: a short, pointed sentence expressing a wise or clever observation or a general truth; adage
1. The nicest thing about the future is that it always starts tomorrow.
2. Money will buy a fine dog, but only kindness will make him wag his tail.
3. If you don't have a sense of humor, you probably don't have any sense at all.
4. Seat belts are not as confining as wheelchairs.
5. A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you're in deep water.
6. How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?
7. Business conventions are important because they demonstrate how many people a company can operate without.
8. Why is it that at class reunions you feel younger than everyone else looks?
9. Scratch a cat and you will have a permanent job.
10. No one has more driving ambition than the boy who wants to buy a car.
11. There are no new sins; the old ones just get more publicity.
12. There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong number at 4 AM . Like this: It could be a right number.
13. No one ever says "It's only a game." when their team is winning.
14. I've reached the age where the happy hour is a nap.
15. Be careful reading the fine print. There's no way you're going to like it.
16. The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same size bucket.
17. Do you realize that in about 40 years, we'll have thousands of old ladies running around with tattoos? (And rap music will be the Golden Oldies ! )
18. Money can't buy happiness -- but somehow it's more comfortable to cry In a Corvette than in a Yugo.
19. After 50, if you don't wake up aching in every joint, you are probably Dead!!
20. Always be yourself. Because the people that matter, don't mind. And The ones who mind, don't matter.

Trivia
1. True or False. Just before the Olympic Games, China executed three persons convicted of plotting to disrupt the games.

2. Which of the following political parties will not be represented on the November 4 presidential election ballot in Ohio? Only one answer.
Republican / Democrat / Independent / Libertarian / Socialist / Green / Constitutional

3. When football was first played (circa early 1880s), how many points were awarded for scoring a touchdown? 1 2 4 7 10

4. When William Henry Harrison died after being president for only a month, Vice President John Tyler became president. What was he doing when notified of the president’s death?
playing marbles, pruning roses, building a chapel behind his cabin
cleaning his chimney, in a tree picking apples

5. Adolph Hitler had a private train of fifteen cars. What did he name that train?
Mein Kampf Amerika Greta Jubilee Reich 3 Fuehrer 1

6. August was the month in 1858 of the famous debates between Lincoln and Douglas for the Illinois senate. How many times did the two men debate one another?
7. From a numerical standpoint, what is the largest religion in the world?


I don’t know much about the Olympics, but it seems to me if there is a javelin thrower, shouldn’t there also be a javelin catcher?

Exercise: the purpose of golf which is experienced when you move your clubs from the trunk of your car onto the golf cart.

Question. What would you have if you crossed a dog with a calculator. Answer. A friend you can count on.

I turned on the TV the other day and thought I had happened onto one of those crazy reality shows. But it was just the news.
Father. William, let me tell you a little about patience.
William. Dad, is it going to be long? Can you give me just the bullet points? Maybe a few short highlights? Better yet, if you text it to me, I could skim it much faster…..
Consciousness is that annoying time between naps.
I’m just curious: how many times around the block would I have to run to be a marathoner?

Is a recumbent incumbent a politician who won’t take a stand on the issues?

The best way to live in the world is to live above the world.

To ease another’s suffering, help carry it.
The promises of God are in the present tense. (Billy Sunday)

I text’d my friend Mooky. He didn‘t answer. Then I phoned him, emailed him, and faxed him - still no answer. Finally, I just went right next door and rang the bell.
I overheard my five year old daughter tell my three year old son, “When I was your age, gasoline was only $3 a gallon.”
I quickly found out that my new watchdog wasn’t going to work out. So I replaced the Beware of the Dog sign with Don’t Trip Over the Dog.
Hard work never killed anyone who supervises it.
There may be some confusion when a church preaches that the end is near and then wants its members to sign a three-year pledge for the construction of the new church building.

Trivia Answers
1. 1. True
2. Green
3. 4
4. Playing marbles
5. Amerika
6. 7
7. Islam (just recently surpassing the Roman Catholic Church which held the top spot for centuries)

August 31

"There's no reason to be the richest man in the cemetery." - Colonel Sanders

"Don't be afraid to take a big step. You can't cross a
chasm in two small jumps."--David Lloyd George

"We can't save ourselves by pulling on our bootstraps, even when the bootstraps are made of the finest religious leather." - Eugene Peterson

I believe with all my heart God wants our church to learn to be more like Jesus. This means we must become less a business and more a family, less a police force for the lawbreakers and more a hospital for the hurting, less a social club and more a spiritual ministry, and less worldly and more heavenly. Joe McKeever

Instead of following our tiny, tiny plans, God wants to open heaven and flood us. It's exciting. --Evelyn Christenson

God is very good to those who trust in him and often surprises them with unlooked for blessings. Little do we know what may happen to us tomorrow, but this sweet fact may cheer us, that no good thing shall be withheld. Chance is banished from the faith of Christians, for they see the hand of God in everything. The trivial events of today or tomorrow may involve consequences of the highest importance. --Charles Spurgeon

Always remember that in life, you make choices and then those choices make you.
Brian Mertens

Tennis scores go fro 0 to 15 to 30 to 40. Sometimes ageing seems the same.

Everyone is on this low-fat craze now. The Mayo Clinic just changed its name to the Balsamic Vinaigrette Clinic.


A group of Montana high schooler students played a prank: they let three goats loose in the school building. But before they let them go, they painted numbers on the sides of the goats: 1, 2 and 4.
The best part of the prank was when, after they had rounded up the three goats, the school administrators spent the rest of the day looking for goat #3.
Anatomy says it has never found the soul and adds, "Therefore there is no soul." The reasoning overleaps itself and takes away its own life. Has anatomy found genius? Or has anatomy laid its finger on imagination and held it up, saying, "Look, the mighty wizard"? But if there is no soul simply because anatomy has never found one, then there is no genius, no imagination, because the surgeon's knife has failed to come upon them! -- Joseph Parker

- "Veni, Vidi, Velcro" - I came, I saw, I stuck around.
- If you are what you eat, I'm dead meat.
- Did you hear about the Norwegian husband who loved his wife so much he almost told her?
- Why are builders afraid to have a 13th floor, but publishers aren't afraid to have a Chapter 11?
- Did Humpty Dumpty have a great fall to make up for a lousy summer?
- Did I tell you about the Amish couple who got divorced. Apparently he was driving her buggy.
- Does satisfaction come from a satisfactory?
- Right now there are 15 million Americans who have things that are old, funny-looking, don't work anymore and are only kept around for sentimental value. Some of these are called antiques. The rest are called husbands.
- Due to a slight mix-up with our pills at the kitchen counter, my wife will be heartworm-free for the next 30 days.
- So I tried one of those fad diets. All I got was fadder and fadder.


"Whatever you do, when you stop by the auto-wrecking yard, don't park your small car in a spot marked 'Compact.'"

When we are suffering, only Christ's perspective can replace our resentment with rejoicing. I've seen it happen in hospital rooms. I've seen it happen in families. I've seen it happen in my own life. Our whole perspective changes when we catch a glimpse of the purpose of Christ in it all. Take that away, and it's nothing more than a bitter, terrible
experience. --Charles Swindoll

I walked into Dairy Queen the other day and asked for a hot fudge sundae with extra hot fudge. The girl replied, "The hot fudge only comes in one temperature, ma'am."

Human beings are the only creatures on Earth that allow their children to come back home.-- Bill Cosby

His Word is not mere intellectual light, but spiritual life and celestial fire. It is the eyes of our heart that need to be enlightened more than the faculties of our understanding. It is little use to read the Bible simply as a duty or a study. We want to read it with burning hearts and glowing love as the love letter of His affection and the mirror of His face.--A. B. Simpson

A clay pot sitting in the sun will always be a clay pot. It has to go through the white heat of the furnace to become porcelain.

August 24

"Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier." Mother Teresa

"Habits are like comfortable beds; they are easy to get into, but difficult to get out of." -- Denis Waitley

"Nothing needs reforming so much as other people's habits." -- Mark Twain

"Good habits are as addictive as bad habits, and a lot more rewarding." -- Harvey Mackay

"You leave old habits behind by starting out with the thought, 'I release the need for this in my life'." -- Dr. Wayne W. Dyer

"Memories and mistakes should be guideposts, not hitching posts."- Paul Powers

My doctor said I was paranoid... well, he didn't actually say it, but I could tell he was thinking it.


'To get something you never had, you have to do something you never
did' When God takes something from your grasp, He's not punishing you,
but merely opening your hands to receive something better.
Concentrate on this sentence....
The will of God will never take you where the
Grace of God will not protect you.'


If we go to a storehouse, all the corn in it will be eaten up someday, but if we go to some boundless plain that grows it, we can be sure that there will be a harvest next year as there has been a harvest last. So think of God not as a storehouse but as the soil from which there comes forth, year by year and generation after generation, the same crop of rich blessings for the needs and hungers of every soul.-- Alexander Maclaren

There are so many noises and pulls and competing demands in our lives that many of us never find out who we are. Learn to be quiet enough to hear the sound of the genuine within yourself so that you can hear it in other people. Marian Wright Edelman

Our Greatest Need
If our greatest need had been information, God would have sent us an educator; If our greatest need had been technology, God would have sent us a scientist; If our greatest need had been money, God would have sent us an economist; If our greatest need had been pleasure, God would have sent us an entertainer; But our greatest need was forgiveness, so God sent us a Savior.

In the Library of Congress there are 1,172 reference books on William Shakespeare, 1,752 on George Washington, 2,319 on Abe Lincoln, and 5,152 on Jesus Christ. Perhaps H. G. Wells best summed up the runaway difference in interest. "Christ," he wrote, "is the most unique person of history. No man can write a history of the human race without giving first and foremost place to the penniless teacher of Nazareth."
Like other great newspapers the Washington Post has a room filled with file folders. These folders contain information on famous people who are no longer alive. Each of these famous people is identified with a single vocational notation ("home run king," "motion picture star," etc.). One of these is marked "Jesus Christ." The notation is simply "martyr." Coming to grips with who Jesus is and what He means to us is the most important task we have.
It has often been noted that Jesus' favorite teaching method was the asking of questions. There are over 100 questions asked in the four Gospels. Of his parents Jesus asked, "Didn't you know that I would be in my Father's house?" Of the paralyzed man he asked, "Do you want to get well?" Of people who listened to Him teach but failed to act, "Why do you call me 'Lord, Lord,' and do not do what I say?" No question is more important, however, than the question He posed to His disciples at Caesrea Phillipi: "Who do you say that I am?"


The Greatest Building
When you think of great building projects, what typically comes to mind? We might think of great buildings that were built centuries ago that still stand today. The Kremlin was built 500 years and was an architectural marvel of its day. The Great Wall of China as we know it today was built in the 15th and 16th centuries and is over 4,000 miles long. The main construction of the Taj Mahal took 20,000 workers 11 years to build and the whole project spanned 22 years. Sometimes these projects took several decades to complete. Herod’s temple, the one destroyed in 70 A. D. , took over 80 years to build. Construction on St. Peter’s Basilica began in 1506 and was not completed until 109 years later in 1615.
But as spectacular as any of these are in the eyes of man, there is one building project that far eclipses all of them. Its design is so spectacular that it couldn’t be drawn by even the best architects. It has been under construction not for decades or centuries, but for millennia, and it still is not finished. Its size is not mere acres or square miles, but encompasses all parts of the earth. What is more amazing is that this building has no steel, bricks, concrete, or windows. Its construction is with very unique, precious stones called "living stones." Unlike all of these other projects, this building will not fade with time. In fact, it will endure forever. What is this greatest of buildings? It is the church, God’s master project.

In ancient Greece, Socrates was reputed to hold knowledge in high esteem.
One day one fellow met the great philosopher and said, "Do you know what I just heard about your friend?"
"Hold on a minute," Socrates replied. "Before telling me anything I'd like you to pass a little test. It's called the Triple Filter Test."
"Triple filter?"
"That's right," Socrates continued.
"Before you talk to me about my friend, it might be a good idea to take a moment and filter what you're going to say. That's why I call it the triple filter test.
The first filter is Truth. Have you made absolutely sure that what you are about to tell me is true?"
"No," the man said, "actually I just heard about it and..."
"All right," said Socrates. "So you don't know if it's true or not.
Now let's try the second filter, the filter of Goodness. Is what you are about to tell me about my friend something good?"
"No, on the contrary..."
"So," Socrates continued, "you want to tell me something bad about him, but you're not certain it's true.
The third filter is Usefulness. Is what you want to tell me about my friend going to be useful to me?"
"No, not really."
"Well," concluded Socrates, "if what you want to tell me is neither true nor good nor even useful, why tell it to me at all?"
Use this triple filter each time you hear loose talk about any of your near and dear friends.

August 17

A positive thinker does not refuse to recognize the negative, he refuses to dwell on it. Positive thinking is a form of thought which habitually looks for the best results from the worst conditions. Norman Vincent Peale (1898-1993) Cleric and writer

Only a fool would attempt to change the world with a simple message of love and peace. So we can conclude that Jesus was a fool. Only fools would agree to follow such a man. ...so we can conclude that all of us are fools....so let all happily admit that we are fools. Then we will happily commit ourselves to change the world. -- Saint John Chrysostom (4th century AD)

It's not what you think, it is what the Bible says!

"The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who can't read them." --Mark Twain

"Knowledge seems to come to the person who seeks for it."

"Iron rusts from disuse, stagnant water loses its purity, and in cold weather becomes frozen: even so does inaction sap the vigors of the mind."--Leonardo da Vinci

There is power in prayer only because of Who is listening. I don’t believe in the power of prayer; I believe in the power of God. Therefore, I pray. The prayer uttered to a tree, even a big oak, is as powerful and effective as a request for a small loan from a pauper. --Scott Smyth

"Once we assuage our conscience by calling something a 'necessary evil,' it begins to look more and more necessary and less and less evil." ~ Sydney J. Harris

Note that Jesus never commanded believers to produce fruit. Fruit is the purpose of the branch, but it is not the responsibility of the branch. The branch cannot produce anything on its own. However, if it remains attached to the vine, it will receive life-sustaining sap, nourishment, strength, everything it needs. If it remains connected to the vine, it will inevitably hang heavy with grapes. The focus of a Christian’s activity is not to work hard enough to make fruit, but to keep his connection to Jesus Christ clean and strong. One way to do that is to absorb the teaching of God’s Word, the sixty-six books of the Bible. Read God’s Word... think about it, apply it, talk about it with others, ask questions, commit sections of it to memory. Strength and productivity come from staying connected…. Someone who fails to abide is someone trying to transform his or her own character in order to produce Christlike qualities without maintaining a connection to Christ, and that’s futile; it never works. In fact, it’s a perfect plan for drying up and withering away. Jesus, drawing upon Ezekiel’s analogy, calls such a life good for nothing. Not only does trying to produce good character on our own lead to futility, it often produces the very opposite of what we desire. —Charles R. Swindoll

I'm suffering from Mallzheimer's disease. I go to the mall and forget where I parked my car.

Quotes about computers...
- A computer is like an Old Testament god, with a lot of rules and no mercy.
- A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history--with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila.
- Computers are useless. They can only give you answers. --Pablo Picasso
- Computers will never take the place of books. You can't stand on a floppy disk to reach a high shelf.
- Hardware: the parts of a computer that can be kicked.
- It was not so very long ago that people thought that semiconductors were part-time orchestra leaders and microchips were very small snack foods.
- One thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse. --Jack Handey
- There is only one satisfying way to boot a computer.
- To err is human -- and to blame it on a computer is even more so.
- Wow! They've got the Internet on computers now! --Homer Simpson

When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive.... so, I took her to a gas station........and then the fight started....

On an international "red-eye" flight, a water leak developed in the galley and eventually soaked the carpet throughout the cabin of the 747 jet.
A very sleepy passenger who had become mildly aware of the dampness drowsily asked the flight attendant, "Has it been raining?"
Thinking fast, the attendant replied, "Yes, but we put the top up."
With a sigh of relief, the passenger went back to sleep.


Mr. Doggins was having trouble getting his neighbor to keep his chickens fenced in. The birds were ruining his prize winning flowerbeds.
The neighbor told Doggins that the chickens had the right to go where they wanted.
Two weeks later, a friend visited Doggins and noticed his flower beds were doing great. The flowers were even beginning to bloom! The friend asked, "How did you get your neighbor to keep his hens in his own yard?"
Doggins said, "Easy! One night I hid a dozen eggs under a bush by my flowerbed. The next day I let my neighbor see me gather them. I haven't been bothered since."

It is a glorious thing to get to know God in a new way in the inner chamber. It is something still greater and more glorious to know God as the all-sufficient One and to wait on His Spirit to open our hearts and minds wide to receive the great things, the new things which He really longs to bestow on those who wait for Him. --Andrew Murray


A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words.

Gasoline is more affordable for American families now than it was in the days of the gas-guzzling muscle cars of the early 1960s. Prices are beginning to come down somewhat, but this was true even when the national average was at its summer peak.

How wonderful that God personally cares about those things that worry us and prey upon our thoughts. He cares about them more than we care about them. Not a single nagging, aching, worrisome, stomach-tensing, blood-pressure-raising thought escapes His notice. --Charles Swindoll

ExxonMobil CEO and chairman Rex Tillerson defended his company's staggering $11.7 billion in profits for the second quarter, saying that the company's earnings reflected the magnitude of its business operation.
"I saw someone characterize our profits the other day in terms of $1,400 in profit per second. Well, they also need to understand we paid $4,000 a second in taxes, and we spent $15,000 a second in cost," Tillerson told ABC News' Charles Gibson. "We spend $1 billion a day just running our business. So this is a business where large numbers are just characteristic of it."

The opening ceremony was unbelievable. The major nations marched in to cheers from their countrymen, but did you notice some of the smaller nations who paraded on the same stage with just a few competitors? They seemed ecstatic just to be there — just to compete. One of them will come in last in the marathon. Another will finish out of the medal count in weightlifting, but still, they bring their best game and give it all they have. They are and forever will be — Olympians!
When God called you, He did so with the full expectation that you would be a winner, not a whiner; that you would finish the race with joy, not drop out along the way. Paul looked back on his life and ministry saying, "I have finished the race, I have kept the faith" (2 Tim. 4:7). And now, I am eligible for the prize ... the crown.


A STRANGER
A few months before I was born, my dad met a stranger who was new to our small town. From the beginning, Dad was fascinated with this enchanting newcomer, and soon invited him to live with our family. The stranger was quickly accepted and was around to welcome me into the world a few months later. As I grew up I never questioned his place in our family. Mom taught me to love the Word of God, and Dad taught me to obey it. But the stranger was our storyteller. He could weave the most fascinating tales. Adventures, mysteries, and comedies were daily conversations. He could hold our whole family spellbound for hours each evening. He was like a friend to the whole family. He took Dad, Bill, and me to our first major league baseball game. He was always encouraging us to see the movies and he even made arrangements to introduce us to several movie stars.
The stranger was an incessant talker. Dad didn't seem to mind, but sometimes Mom would quietly get up -- while the rest of us were enthralled with one of his stories of faraway places -- go to her room, read her Bible, and pray. I wonder now if she ever prayed that the stranger would leave. You see, my dad ruled our household with certain moral convictions. But this stranger never felt an obligation to honor them. Profanity, for example, was not allowed in our house -- not from us, from our friends, or adults. Our longtime visitor, however, used occasional four-letter words that burned my ears and made Dad squirm. To my knowledge the stranger was never confronted. My Dad was a teetotaler who didn't permit alcohol in his home -- not even for cooking. But the stranger felt like we needed exposure and enlightened us to other ways of life. He offered us beer and other alcoholic beverages often. He made cigarettes look tasty, cigars manly, and pipes distinguished. He talked freely (too much too freely) about sex. His comments were sometimes blatant, sometimes suggestive, and generally embarrassing. I know now that my early concepts of the man/woman relationship were influenced by the stranger.
As I look back, I believe it was the grace of God that the stranger did not influence us more. Time after time he opposed the values of my parents, yet he was seldom rebuked and never asked to leave. More than forty years have passed since the stranger moved in with the young family on Morningside Drive. But if I were to walk into my parents' den today, you would still see him sitting over in a corner, waiting for someone to listen to him talk and watch him draw his pictures. His name? We always just called him . . . TV!

August 10

"If the whole world depends on today's youth, I can't see the world lasting
another 100 years." --Socrates

"If we ever forget that we're one nation under God, then we will be a nation gone
under." -- Ronald Reagan

"No arsenal, or no weapon in the arsenals of the world, is as formidable as the will and moral courage of free men and women." -- Ronald Reagan

"I have never been a millionaire. But I have enjoyed a crackling fire, a glorious sunset, a walk with a friend and a hug from a child. There are plenty of life's tiny delights for all of us." -- Jack Anthony

"Until you give yourself to some great cause, you haven't really begun to fully live." -- Ray Lammie

"Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing." -- Helen Keller

"It's better to light a candle than to curse the darkness." -- Chinese proverb

"Remember, a small light will do a great deal when it is in a very dark place. Put one little tallow candle in the middle of a large hall, and it will give a good deal of light." -- Dwight L. Moody

Though I have walked with God for several decades, I must confess I still find much about Him incomprehensible and mysterious. But this much I know: He delights in surprising us. He dots our pilgrimage from earth to heaven with amazing serendipities. --Charles Swindoll

According to the 2008 Coffee statistics report, coffee is the most popular beverage worldwide with over 400 billion cups consumed each year. The U.S. imports more than $4 billion worth of coffee per year, and Americans consume some 400 million cups of coffee per day, as nearly 52 percent of Americans over the age of 18 drink coffee daily.

Achievers have an attitude of expectancy. They minimize their losses. They do not grieve over failures or what might have been. Achievers look around the corner in anticipation of the good things that still await them. -- Allan Cox, Business advisor and author

The real contest is always between what you’ve done and what you are capable of doing. You measure yourself against yourself and nobody else. -- Geoffrey Gaberino, Olympic swimmer

Be yourself...who else is better qualified?


Marriage Proverbs for those thinking of 'tying the knot.'. . .
1: Marriages are made in heaven, but so again are thunder and lightning.
2: If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.
3: Marriage is grand -- and divorce is at least 100 grand!
4: Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.
5: When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: Either the car is new or the wife is.
6: Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one.
7: Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you said. After marriage, he will fall asleep before you finish.
8: Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical, and is a good cook, but the law allows only one wife.
9: Every woman wants a man who is handsome, understanding, economical and a considerate lover, but again, the law allows only one husband.
10: Man is incomplete until he marries. After that, he is finished.

In 1986 Bob Brenley was playing third base for the San Francisco Giants. In the fourth inning of a game against the Atlanta Braves, Brenley made an error on a routine ground ball. Four batters later he kicked away another grounder. And then while he was scrambling after the ball, he threw wildly past home plate trying to get the runner there. Two errors on the same play. A few minutes later he muffed yet another play to become the first player in the twentieth century to make four errors in one inning.
Now, those of us who have made very public errors in one situation or another can easily imagine how he felt during that long walk off the field at the end of that inning. But then in the bottom of the fifth, Brenley hit a home run. Then in the seventh, he hit a bases-loaded single, driving in two runs and tying the game.
Then in the bottom of the ninth, Brenley came up to bat again, with two outs. He ran the count to three and two and then hit a massive home run into the left field seats to win the game for the Giants. Brenley's score card for that day came to three hits and five at bats, two home runs, four errors, four runs allowed, four runs driven in, including the game-winning run.
Certainly life is a lot like that--a mixture of hits and errors. And there is grace in that.


- "In view of the fact that God limited the intelligence of man, it seems unfair that He did not also limit his stupidity." - Konrad Adenauer
- Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming 1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it, 2. Whenever you're right, shut up. - Nash
- "You can't build a reputation on what you're going to do." -- Henry Ford
- Some folks are so eager to find fault, you'd think there's a reward.

We often try to fix problems with WD-40 and duct tape. God did it with a nail.

- It now costs more to amuse a child than it once did to educate his father.
- It rarely occurs to teenagers that the day will come when they'll know as little as their parents.
- Money isn't everything, but it sure keeps the kids in touch.
- Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.
- You can learn many things from children ... like how much patience you have.
- The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left.
- There are three ways to get things done: 1) do it yourself 2) hire someone to do it 3) forbid your kids to do it.
- Those who say they "sleep like a baby" haven't got one.
- There would be fewer problems with children if they had to chop wood to keep the television set going.

We gather today as a community of doubters. We don't like to say that about ourselves, but it is true! And we are in good company. The lessons for today share doubting moments of Elijah and the disciples. Neither they nor we are rejected for our doubting. I am glad that you are here. Together we can celebrate God's great faithfulness and love to those He loves--even in the midst of doubts.

"Do you serve God but only in an advisory capacity?"

"Realize that true happiness lies within you. Waste no time and effort searching for peace and contentment and joy in the world outside. Remember that there is no happiness in having or in getting, but only in giving. Reach out. Share. Smile. Hug. Happiness is a perfume you cannot pour on others without getting a few drops on yourself." -- Og Mandino

August 3

The heavens declare the glory of God
and the streets declare the sinfulness of man

Faith does not struggle; faith lets God do it all.--Corrie ten Boom
Most sins are habit forming.


"The elevator to success is out of order. You'll have to use the stairs... one step at a time."-- Joe Girard

I had rather do and not promise than promise and not do. -- Arthur Warwick

"Silent gratitude isn't very much use to anyone." --Gertrude Stein

"God gave you a gift of 86,400 seconds today. Have you used one of them to say 'Thank You?'" -- William A. Ward

"Whinese: the language used by people who complain a lot." -- Unknown

"Happiness depends upon the quality of your thoughts. Entertain no notions unsuitable to virtue and reasonable nature." -- Marcus Aurelius

"The spirit, the will to win and the will to excel are the things that endure. These qualities are so much more important than the events that occur." -- Vince Lombardi, football coach

Hurry, Hurry. Fast, Fast
I'm not a sociolinguist but I find languages fascinating. The other day I was walking past a Ghanaian man talking on his cell phone in Twi (a local language here). Suddenly, in the midst of a sea of words I could not understand, I heard, "Hurry, hurry. Fast, fast." Why did he need to switch to English to use those words? In a culture where relationships are valued more than task, where listening to someone is more important than crossing off my "to do" list, where greeting someone before you get to the point of your conversation is a very high value--hurry, hurry, fast, fast is apparently a value grafted in from the West. I chuckled as I walked away and slowed my pace down just a fraction--reminding myself that I can enjoy the journey just as much as the destination. By Karen Carr

Life's Opportunity "I expect to pass through this world but once. Any good, therefore, that I can do, or any kindness that I can show to any fellow creature, let me do it now. Let me not defer or neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again.'" William Penn 1644-1718, Religious Leader and founder of Pennsylvania

True Friendship "Friends are a blessing. Most of us have many friends throughout our life, but very few friends we can really trust, count on and confide in. A true test of friendship is when conflict or disagreement comes along or ego gets in the way--if you can get past it and the relationship stays strong, you just might have yourself a real close friend. Those friends are more valuable than treasure." Ray Lammie, Thought for Today.

THE DUMBEST GENERATION? Emory University English professor Mark Bauerlein (author of "The Dumbest Generation: How the Digital Age Stupefies Young Americans and Jeopardizes Our Future") to confirm what many of us have already started to notice: The Digital Age is wreaking havoc on young Americans' ready and writing abilities. Of course, the Internet offers countless opportunities for learning, but Mark's research found that kids are using for vanity rather than intellectual enrichment. Spending endless hours texting, chatting, and posting every intimate detail of their lives online, kids today suffer a new kind of peer pressure -- one that keeps them locked in a state of immaturity. Far from using the 'net for mental enrichment, Bauerleins discovered that average high school students spend an hour per week studying for their classes online and nine hours on social networking sites. No wonder kids' standardized test scores for reading comprehension have been falling since the birth of the 'net.
Worried about your kids? Here's an easy solution: Get the computer and television out of their rooms and set limits! Trade online time for time spent reading and writing. The study and work habits your kids learn during their teenage years will stick with them for years. They'll thank you for it later.

Just A Plowhand I'm just a plowhand from Arkansas, but I have learned how to hold a team together. How to lift some men up, how to calm down others, until finally they've got one heartbeat together, a team.
There's just three things I'd ever say:
If anything goes bad, I did it.
If anything goes semi-good, then we did it.
If anything goes real good, then you did it.
That's all it takes to get people to win football games for you. Paul 'Bear' Bryant, famous college football coach Bryant's words were powerful, just as yours are.

"God answers all prayers. Sometimes He answers, 'Yes,' sometimes He answers, 'No,' and sometimes the answer is, 'You gotta be kidding!'"


CHURCHQUAKE I have just completed reading a book by David T. Olson entitled, The American Church in Crisis. In the final portion of his work, he says, "The American church needs to be 'forever building.' Building is the church's response to God's missional promptings. But the greatest need of the church is 'being restored,' which is a spiritual and supernatural act of God." (Zondervan, 2008, p. 221)
The American Church in Crisis is filled with graphs and charts to support his conclusion that the church does need to keep building and find restoration. For instance, Mr. Olson refutes the church attendance research of both Barna and Gallup. He does not believe between 37% and 43% of Americans go to church each week. His research of nearly 300,000 churches gives evidence that the total attending services is closer to 52 million each week (versus over 100 million), and that instead of 40% attending each week, it is more like 19.5%. Just check out your neighborhood some Sunday.
With regard to the evangelical church, he reports 26.7 million attended church on a given weekend in 2005 — 9.1% of the American churchgoers are connected with the evangelical church.
Where there is church growth, new churches are the leading growth factor. Large churches are the second leading factor.
A statement made in the book taken from a study in Switzerland — and one that I agree with wholeheartedly — is, "If a father does not go to church, no matter how regular the mother is in her religious practices, only one child in 50 becomes a regular church attendee." You know the condition of the church in that country.
One last figure that scares me is that, each year from 2000 to 2005, an estimated 4,000 new churches were started — but each year, his research showed 3,700 churches closed or a net gain of 300. To keep up with the population growth, 2,900 more churches would need to be started each year, or a total of 6,900.

• Women Are Happier than Men Until ... The Journal of Happiness Studies reports that women are happier than men — but only until their late 40s. The study, which analyzed data from 47,000 people, considered happiness levels of men and women. It found that in their 20s, women are happier than men. Researchers blame that on young men's lackluster love lives and low-paying first jobs. The gap closes with age — and, by 48, men are happier. The study suggests it's because, by then, men are married and better off financially.


The Law of Abundance Stephen Covey, in his "Seven Habits of Highly Effective People", talks about the Law of Abundance vs. the Law of Scarcity. There's plenty to go around. And the more you give, the more you have to give. But how interesting! Covey writes about this, and folks act like it is new. Jesus performed it, 2000 years ago, on a rocky hillside in Palestine. There is plenty of Jesus to go around!

The Negative Verses the Positive Outside a small town in New Mexico is a sign that reads as follows: "Welcome to Portales, New Mexico, home of 12,493 friendly folks and 8 or 10 grouches."
Isn't that the way it is everywhere? There are always a few negative folks around to tell you that Murphy's laws will ruin everything. I like the story about the little boy who was trying to raise some money by collecting old bottles, going door-to-door in his neighborhood. When he came to the home of a woman who was the "town grouch," the little boy asked, "Do you have any coke bottles?" "No," she replied with a scowl. Then he said, "Do you have any old whiskey bottles?" "Young man," the woman replied, "Do I look like the type of person who would have old whiskey bottles?"
The little boy studied her for a moment and then asked, "Well, do you have any old vinegar bottles?"
Isn't it tragic that some people go through life so negative and sour and bitter? And if you don't watch out, they will infect you with their thinking.
How can we live positively in this world where much is discouraging? I think I see some clues in one of the miracle stories of the Bible. Jesus once fed 10,000 people with only five loaves of barley bread and two little fish. The disciples saw the negatives but Jesus understood the positive presence of a little food.

"If you took NyQuil and No-Doz at the same time, would you dream you couldn't sleep?"

If you have trouble getting your children's attention, just sit down and look comfortable.

If you always DO what you've always DONE, you'll always BE what you've always BEEN.