November 11

SHORT AND SWEET
Pythagorean theorem : 24 Words
The Lord's Prayer : 66 Words
Archimedes' Principle : 67 Words
The 10 Commandments : 179 Words
The Gettysburg Address : 286 Words
The Declaration of Independence : 1,300 Words
The U. S. Government regulations on the sale of cabbage : 26,911 Words
(Ahhh...the power of government.)


You and I are human post offices. We are daily giving our messages of some sort to the world. They do not come from us, but through us; we do not create, we convey. Let us make certain that our messages come from heaven. --Vance Havner

"Parents, what are your children learning from your worship? Do they see the same excitement as when you go to a basketball game? Do they see you prepare for worship as you do for a vacation? Do they see you hungry to arrive, seeking the face of the Father? Or do they see you content to leave the way you came?.....They are watching. Believe me. They are watching." - Max Lucado

"Behind every successful man stands a proud wife and a surprised mother-in-law" - Brooks Hays

A THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
When I want to speak let me think first:
Is it true?
Is it kind?
Is it necessary?
If not, let it be unsaid
Bible Verse 1 Corinthians 4:13 When slandered, we speak kindly.
Prayer Lord, when speaking of others this day and other days, I pray for a spirit of kindness. May all my conversations be pleasing in Your sight. Amen

"There is only one thing I know I am going to do in my life. I don't know if I'll be a success, a failure, married, single - but I do know that sooner or later, I'm going to die. The finality of that is kind of like God's little joke. No matter how cool you think you are, you will decompose. Most people live most of their lives ignoring death. Anything that will remind us, we remove from sight. This obsession with immortality is a bizarre thing. What that tells me, though, is we must be immortal." - Rich Mullins, the "Awesome God" guy

As I quietly abide in You and let Your life flow into me, what freedom it is to know that the Father does not see my threadbare patience or insufficient trust, rather only Your patience, Lord, and Your confidence that the Father has everything in hand. In Your faith I thank You right now for a more glorious answer to my prayer than I can imagine. Amen.

In those times I can't seem to find God, I rest in the assurance He knows how to find me. --Neva Coyle


RESPONSE FROM LAST SUNDAY’S MESSAGE “After your message about Zaccheas on Sunday you challenged us to go out and find someone that we could assist, come along side, or just be friend. I did that and made a phone call to a neighbor who I heard had been diagnosed with cancer. It took me out of my comfort zone but boy did God bless me with their response. They couldn’t thank me enough for calling. I told them I could see their lights from our bedroom window and every time I did I would be praying for them. This initial contact will make future visits and calls easier. May this spirit of Zaccheas invade Joy, infect everyone and turn the lights on for many of our neighbors.” - Anonymous

When temperatures plunged to 26 degrees below zero Fahrenheit, the Rockford, Ill., Register Star asked its readers to finish the sentence, "It was so cold that..." Here are some of the responses:
...you could freeze an egg on the sidewalk.
...I had to go up and break the smoke off my chimney.
...we opened the refrigerator to heat the house.
...when police saw a bank-robbery suspect and said, "Freeze!" he did.
...when I called home to Arizona, the message caused the cactus to frost over.
...I let my dog out, and I had to break him loose from the tree.

Chicagoans eat more chocolate and drink more cola than other U.S. urbanites, and are among the top consumers of energy drinks and coffee.
They are also likely to say caffeine is good for you, according to the poll conducted by Prince Market Research.
Tampa, Miami, Phoenix and Atlanta rounded out the top five most caffeinated cities, while residents of San Francisco, Philadelphia, New York, Detroit and Baltimore consumed the least caffeine.

A GLOBAL survey recently conducted by the Pew Research Center shows that the wealthier you are, the less likely you are to be religious. The survey, done as part of the Pew Global Attitudes Project, covers a wide swath of economic matters, including global trade and immigration (pewglobal.org).
Pew found that there is “a strong relationship between a country’s religiosity and its economic status.” The poorer a country, the more “religion remains central to the lives of individuals, while secular perspectives are more common in richer nations.”
The United States is the “most notable” exception. Other exceptions are oil-rich, mostly Muslim nations like Kuwait.
There is no simple interpretation of the findings. Perhaps as “people get less religious, they get wealthier,” wrote Kevin Drum of the Washington Monthly’s Political Animal blog (washingtonmonthly.com). “Or perhaps the other way around. Or perhaps there’s something else behind both trends.”
Mr. Drum concludes that it’s “probably a bit of all three.”

Obesity: We're Too Big For Disneyland's "It's A Small World"
Back in 1963, when the boats that carry customers through Disneyland's "It's a Small World" ride were designed, the average male weighed 175lbs and the average female 135lbs. Not anymore. Nowadays the boats frequently bottom out, overloaded with extra flesh, says CalorieLab:
The Small World ride now must accommodate adults who frequently weigh north of 200 pounds, which it often cannot do. Increasingly, overweighted boats get to certain points in the ride and bottom out, becoming stuck in the flume.
The ride monitors attempt to leave empty seats on many boats to compensate for the hefty, but this routinely antagonizes the hundreds of paying customers waiting in line. When a boat does bottom out, a long line of other boats backs up behind it, their passengers slowly going mad from listening to the ride's theme song.
The ride monitors must then track down the stuck boat and attempt tactfully to help a rider or two to exit at one of the emergency platforms, which the riders in question do not always deal with graciously.
Disney is now undertaking a massive renovation in which the boats will be redesigned and the flume deepened to accommodate the additional poundage. It's a new, bigger world.

Did You Know...
• The 25% of the population in China with the highest IQ’s is greater than the population of North America.
• In India, it’s the top 28%.
Translation: They have more honors kids than we have kids.
• China will soon become the number one English-speaking country in the world.
• If you took every single job in the US today and shipped it to China, it still would have a labor surplus.
• During the next 5 minutes, 60 babies will be born in the US.
• 244 babies will be born in China.
• 357 babies will be born in India.
• The US Dept. Of Labor estimates that today’s learner will have 10 to 14 jobs by the age of 38.
• The US Dept. Of Labor estimates 1 out of every 4 workers today is for a company for whom they have been employed for less than 5 years.
• More than 1 out of 2 are working for a company for whom they have worked less than 5 years.
• The education Secretary predicts the top 10 jobs that will be in demand in 2010 did not exist in 2004.
• We are currently preparing students for jobs that don’t exist yet, using technologies that haven’t yet been invented, in order to solve problems we don’t know even know are problems yet.
• Name this country...richest in the world, largest military, center of world business and finance, strongest education system, world center of innovation and invention, currency the world standard of value, highest standard of living.....England...in 1900.
• The US is 20th in the world in Internet usage (Luxemburg just passed us)
• Ninetendo invested $140 million in research and development in 2002 alone.
• The US Federal Government spent less than half as much on research and innovation in education.
• 1 out of every 8 couples married in the US last year met online.
• We are living in exponential times. There are over 2.7 billion searches on Google each month.
• There are about 540,00 words in the English language, about 5 times as many as during Shakespeare time.
• More than 3,000 new books are published daily.
• It is estimated that a week’s worth of NY Times contains more information than a person was likely to come across in a lifetime in the 18th Century.
• The amount of new technological information is doubling every 2 years.
• For a student starting a 4 year technology or college degree, this means that half of what they learn in their first year of study will be outdated by their third tear of study.
• It is predicted to double every 72 hours by 2010 by 2023, when first graders will be 23 years old and beginning their first career.


In the office where I work, there is a constant battle between our technical-support director and customer-service personnel over the room temperature, which is usually too low.
The frustrated director, trying to get us to understand his position, announced one afternoon, "We need to keep the temperature below seventy-five degrees or the computers will overheat."
Thinking that this was just another excuse, one of my shivering colleagues retorted, "Yeah right. So how did they keep the computers from overheating before there was air conditioning."

Nearly 21 percent of Americans smoke, a number that has been stalled since 2004, federal researchers reported on Thursday in a study they said means governments must spend more to persuade people to kick the habit.
More than 45 million Americans smoked in 2006, or 20.8 percent of the population, 80 percent of them daily smokers

Inner Strength
Gardens have their seasons. Frost comes too soon. Rain waits too long. Ice comes too heavy. Ice can make trees and bushes bend. If we try to remove the ice, the branches will most likely break.
There is a strength inside the branches that will carry more weight than we know. There is a life inside that has more strength than the weight on the outside. There is an inner strength. To watch a garden or a forest is to notice the hidden power deep inside all that grows.
It is the same with all who plant and grow the gardens. We have the promise: You will not be tempted above what you are able. The ice will not be too heavy. We can bend far and not break. We can be dead and alive, lost and found, asleep and then awake, broken hearted and then healed.
Notice the strength deep inside the branches of a large tree, a fern, tall tulip stems. See how hidden strength is. See this strength inside someone.
Dear God, bend us so we will not break. Reprinted by permission from Living Well: 100 Seeds to Grow Your Spirit Copyright 2005 by Wheat Ridge Ministries

The amount of sleep required by the average person is about five minutes more.

If people were not meant to have late-night snacks, why did God put a light in the refrigerator?

November 4

"Diplomacy is the art of saying "nice doggie" until you can find a rock." - Will Rogers

How To Tell If You're Over The Hill:
- Your arms are almost too short to read the newspaper.
- You buy shoes with crepe rubber soles.
- The only reason you're still awake at 2 a.m. is indigestion.
- People ask you what color your hair used to be.
- You enjoy watching the news.
- Your car must have four doors.
- You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
- You have a dream about prunes.
- You browse the bran cereal section in the grocery store.
- You start worrying when your supply of Ben Gay is low.
- You think a C.D. is a certificate of deposit.
- You have more than 2 pair of glasses.
- You read the obituaries daily.
- Your biggest concern when dancing is falling.
- You enjoy hearing about other peoples operations.
- You know all the warning signs of a heart attack.

A recent study found the average American golfer walks about 900 miles a Year. Another study found American golfers drink, on average, 22 gallons of beer a Year. That means, on average, American golfers get about 41 miles to the gallon.

Ninety wars (at least) have broken out in the world since peace was declared in 1945. In the last 3,438 years of recorded history, only 268 have been without war. War and wickedness, like disease and death, are a part of what it means to be the sons of Adam and daughters of Eve.


Handyman Guide to Working Around the House
1. If you can't find a screwdriver, use a knife. If you break off the tip, it's an improved screwdriver.
2. Try to work alone. An audience is rarely any help.
3. Work in the kitchen whenever you can ... many fine tools are there, it's warm and dry, and you are close to the refrigerator.
4. If it's electronic, get a new one ... or consult a twelve-year-old.
5. Always take credit for miracles. If you dropped the alarm clock while taking it apart and it suddenly starts working, you have healed it.
6. Regardless of what people say, kicking, pounding, and throwing sometimes DOES help.
7. Above all, if what you've done is stupid, but it works, then it isn't stupid.

Shaped by the Vine By Josh Akers
I have in my possession two very interesting walking sticks...
One is a limb from a maple tree, the other is a limb from an oak tree. The thing that makes each of these sticks so unique is that they have a spiral shape to them. Maple trees and oak trees don't typically grow this way. However, these limbs got wrapped up in some honeysuckle vines. As the trees grew, the bark and the wood were shaped by the vines that were wrapped in a neat spiral around them. The result was that the limbs took on a spiral shape themselves.
Thought: Have you ever considered that we are shaped by the things we surround ourselves with? If we surround ourselves with the things of the world, we'll grow to be more and more like the world (1 John 2:15). On the other hand, if we surround ourselves with Jesus Christ, we will become more and more like Him.

If we want everything to remain as it is, it will be necessary for everything to change.

- Payday at my house is like the Academy Awards. My wife says, "May I have the envelope, please?"
- A wife told her husband the doctor said she wasn't well and needed the ocean breezes. So he fanned her with a herring.
- I bought my wife a car. Two weeks ago she learned how to drive it. Last week she learned how to aim it.
- My wife wanted a foreign convertible . . . so I bought her a rickshaw.
- I'm just back from a pleasure trip. I took my mother-in-law to the airport.
- I came home last night and found our car in the dining room. I asked my wife, "How did you get the car into the dining room?" She said, "It was easy, I just turned left at the kitchen!"
- When my wife asked me to start a garden the first thing I dug up was an excuse.


Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance. Every morning when I open my eyes, I tell myself that it is special. Every day, every minute, every breath truly is a gift from God

"To acquire knowledge, one must study; but to acquire wisdom, one must observe." -- Marilyn vos Savant

"Wisdom is not a product of schooling but of the life-long attempt to acquire it." -- Albert Einstein

"In youth we learn, in age we understand." -– Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach

"It is the province of knowledge to speak, and it is the privilege of wisdom to listen." -- Oliver Wendell Holmes

"There are three ways to get something done: do it yourself, hire someone, or forbid your kids to do it."

A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk I have a work station.

A baby-sitter is a teenager acting like an adult while the adults are out acting like teenagers.

"Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue."

"Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them."

"Drive carefully. It's not only cars that can be recalled by their Maker."

"Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then you won't have a leg to stand on."

"Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance."

"It's the second mouse that gets the cheese."

"When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane."

"Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live."

"We could learn a lot from crayons. Some are sharp, some are pretty and some are dull, Some have weird names, and all are different colors, but they all have to live in the same box."

"A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour."

One Tick at a Time Once there was a handsome clock that became preoccupied with worry about its future. It began thinking about the number of times it would have to tick: twice each second, 120 times per minute, 7,200 times an hour, 172,800 times a day, 63,072,000 times a year. When it realized that in the next ten years it would have to tick 630,720,000 times, it had a nervous breakdown. The clock went to a watchmaker for therapy. While under the watchmaker's care, the clock began to realize that all it needed to do was to tick just one tick at a time. Soon it began to tick again, and it continued ticking, one tick at a time for one hundred years. And everyone loved that old grandfather clock.

Thought for today: "Jesus avoided conversations that tried to persuade by analyzing fine points of the law (cf. the scribes and Pharisees). Rather, he helped people picture the kingdom of God, and he invited them to see themselves in the picture."


Stress Management
A lecturer, when explaining stress management to an audience, raised a glass of water and asked, "How heavy is this glass of water?"
Answers called out ranged from 20g to 500g.
The lecturer replied, "The absolute weight doesn't matter. It depends on how long you try to hold it. "If I hold it for a minute, that's not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I'll have an ache in my right arm. If I hold it for a day, you'll have to call an ambulance. "In each case, it's the same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes. "
He continued, "And that's the way it is with stress management. If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later, as the burden becomes increasingly heavy, we won't be able to carry on." "As with the glass of water, you have to put it down for a while and rest before holding it again. When we're refreshed, we can carry on with the burden."
"So, before you return home tonight, put the burden of work down. Don't carry it home. You can pick it up tomorrow. Whatever burdens you're carrying now, let them down for a moment if you can." "Relax; pick them up later after you've rested. Life is short. Enjoy it!

Five Birds and Good Intentions By Michael Jospehson of Character Counts (476.2)
Five birds are sitting on a telephone wire. Two of them decide to fly South. How many are left? Three, you say? No, it's five. You see, deciding to fly South is not the same as doing it.
If a bird really wants to go somewhere, it's got to point itself in the right direction, jump off the wire and flap its wings.
Good intentions are not enough. Our character is defined and our lives are determined not by what we want, say or think, but by what we do.
I frequently think of writing thank-you notes, birthday wishes and letters of praise. Unfortunately, only a sad few of these good sentiments ever make it to paper. Still, if I don't look too closely, I can delude myself into thinking that based on my good thoughts, I'm a gracious and grateful person. A truer picture of my character is drawn by my actions.
The challenge for me is to make the time to do the things I ought to do and say the things I want to say. There are lots of occasions to do this at home and at work. And one doesn't have to get sappy or insincere. Just look for opportunities to say something nice to
family members, friends or coworkers. Once you get the hang of it, expand your arena of action and call or write a former teacher, a columnist or a public servant you admire.
Quaker missionary Stephen Grellet put it eloquently: "I expect to pass through the world but once. Any good therefore I can do or any kindness I can show to any fellow creature, let me do it now. Let me not defer it or neglect it for I shall not pass this way again."
This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.

There is an anti-Christian movie (written by an atheist, Philip Pullman of England) called The Golden Compass coming out on December 7 (just in time for Christmas). It stars Nicole Kidman, so it will be getting a lot of publicity. Philip despises C.S Lewis and Narnia, and his goal is to "kill GOD in the minds of children". An article written about him labels him "the most dangerous author in Britain!" He has written 3 books that all promote atheism, and the movie depicts his first book (which is the more watered-down of the 3). His goal is that you see the movie and then that your kids want his trilogy for Christmas…and then it REALLY gets offensive in the second 2 books!! But just to give you a tid-bit of what's in Philip's books… a ex-nun calling Christianity a convincing mistake, 2 characters representing Adam & Eve KILL God (called YAHWEH) in the end, and there's a story about castration & female circumcision! It will be targeted toward children and advertised as a fun-holiday flick.

The church was celebrating Communion. During the "children's sermon", the minister was talking about Communion and what it is all about.
"The Bible talks of Holy Communion being a 'joyful feast'. What does that mean? Well, 'joyful' means happy, right? And a feast is a meal. So a 'joyful feast' is a happy meal. And what are the three things we need for a happy meal?"
Jennifer put up her hand and said, "Hamburger, fries, and a regular soft drink?"


• Many Americans Believe in a Judgment Day
About eight-in-ten Americans say that they have no doubt that God exists, that prayer is an important part of their lives, and that "we will all be called before God at the Judgment Day to answer for our sins," according to PewResearch.org. The number of people who completely agree with each statement rose during the 1990s and has declined more recently.

• Small Increase in the Number of Secular Americans
The number of Americans who say they are atheists or agnostics, or choose not to identify with a religious tradition has increased modestly over the past two decades. Pew Research found that, in 2006, 12 percent of U.S. adults identified themselves as secular or unaffiliated with a religious tradition as compared to eight percent in 1987.

• One-Third of Adults Feel Extreme Stress
A new survey from the American Psychological Association found that nearly a third of U.S. adults report "extreme stress," reports webmd.com. The survey found that: 32 percent report extreme stress; nearly one in five (17%) reach their highest stress level 15 or more days per month; and almost half (48%) say their stress level has risen over the last five years.

My wife and I recently had a college student and the girl he was dating over to our house for lunch on a Sunday. As we started to relax, I said, "Why don't you take your coat off?" I'd already taken off my tie and coat. The young man kind of hem-hawed around, however, as if he didn't want to do it. Finally, he got me off in a corner and said, reminding me of an old trick I knew well when I was in college, "The only parts of my shirt I ironed were the cuffs and the collar." He had pressed just the parts that showed. The rest of the shirt looked as if he had ironed it with a weedeater! That was the way of the Pharisees: the part people could see looked great, but a weedeater appeared to have done the ironing on the inside. Righteousness Inside Out

The same fire that melts the butter hardens the egg. --Middle-Eastern proverb