February 25
Mother Theresa's prayer:
May today there be peace within. May you trust God that you are exactly where you are meant to be. May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith. May you use those gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you. May you be content knowing you are a child of God. Let this presence settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love. It is there for each and every one of us.
The Devil's Future "Resist the devil and he will flee from you."
A friend shared with me her way of handling the deceiver-tempter: "When Satan comes to remind me about my past, I remind him about his future."
One thing Satan does is continually accuse us before God. Knowing that he does this, we can remind him not only about his future in hell but also that Christ shed his blood on the cross and gave his life to pay for our sins and has washed them all away. So what's there to accuse us of if we have confessed our sins to Christ and asked for and accepted his forgiveness?
Furthermore, because Christ died for us and cleansed us from our sins, we can, in Jesus' name resist the devil and, as James said, he will flee from us. Satan hates the name of Jesus. Be sure to mention it when he comes to tempt you.
Prayer: "Dear God, thank you that you forgive all who confess their sins and ask for your forgiveness. Help me always to resist the devil in Jesus' name, knowing that he will flee from me and has no power over me. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus' name, amen."
He who governed the world before I was born shall take care of it likewise when I am dead. My part is to improve the present moment. --John Wesley
Four-year-old Jason was visiting his grandparents. Grandpa was in his study intently reading. Jason walked in carrying a peach, said something Grandpa didn't catch, and handed the peach to him. Thinking his wife had sent him a snack, Grandpa took it and ate it. Just as he swallowed the last bite, Jason, with lip quivering, said, "But, Pap, I didn't want you to eat it. I just wanted you to get the worm out!"
A man asked his wife what she'd like for her birthday.
"I'd love to be six again," she replied.
On the morning of her birthday, he got her up bright and early and off they went to a local theme park. What a day! He put her on every ride in the park: the Death Slide, the Screaming Loop, the Wall of Fear - everything there was! Wow!
Five hours later she staggered out of the theme park, her head reeling and her stomach upside down. Right to a McDonald's they went, where her husband ordered her a Big Mac along with extra fries and a refreshing chocolate shake.
Then it was off to a movie - the latest Star Wars epic, and hot dogs, popcorn, Pepsi Cola and M&Ms. What a fabulous adventure!
Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed. He leaned over and lovingly asked, "Well, dear, what was it like being six again?"
One eye opened. "You idiot, I meant my dress size."
The moral of this story is: If a woman speaks and a man is actually listening, he will still get it wrong.
"A word to the wise ain't necessary. It's the stupid ones who need the advice." - Bill Cosby
"If life were fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead." - Johnny Carson
"The world cares very little about what a man or woman knows; it is what the man or woman is able to do that counts." -- Booker T. Washington, 1856-1915, Educator and Reformer
"Losers make promises they often break. Winners make commitments they always keep." -- Denis Waitley
HOW TO DRIVE IN PHOENIX:
1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: "FEE-NICKS".
2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour is from noon to 7:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 85 mph. On Loop 101, your speed is expected to match the highway number. Anything less is considered "Wussy".
4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Phoenix has its own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires go second. However, East Valley, SUV-driving, cell phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended, cussed out, and possibly shot.
6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense that can get you shot.
7. Road construction is permanent and continuous in Phoenix. Detour barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next day's driving a bit more exciting.
8. Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, barrels, cones, cows, horses, cats, mattresses, shredded tires, squirrels, rabbits, crows, vultures, javelinas, roadrunners, and the coyotes feeding on any of these items.
9. Maricopa Freeway, Papago Freeway and the "I-10" are the same road.
10. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally activated."
11. If you are in the left lane and only driving 70 in a 55-65 mph zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off" accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
12. For summer driving, it is advisable to wear potholders on your hands.
Prevailing Sins
A recent survey of readers ranked areas of greatest spiritual challenge to them:
1. Materialism
2. Pride
3. Self-centeredness
4. Laziness
5. (Tie) Anger/Bitterness
5. (Tie) Sexual lust.
7. Envy
8. Gluttony
9. Lying
Survey noted temptations were more potent when they had neglected their time with God (81 percent) and when they were physically tired (57 percent). Resisting temptation was accomplished by prayer (84 percent), avoiding compromising situations (76 percent), Bible study (66 percent), and being accountable to someone (52 percent).
Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A: Rename the mail folder to "instruction manuals"
Now that lawyers can advertise, says a reporter, you had better brace yourself for the following pitch from one who specializes in divorces: "Satisfaction guaranteed or your honey back."
A husband visited a marriage counselor and said, "When we were first married, I would come home from the office, my wife would bring my slippers and our cute little dog would
run around barking. Now after ten years it's all different. I come home, the dog brings the slippers and my wife runs around barking."
"Why complain?" said the counselor, "You're still getting the same service."
Normally all of the good choir members of the West Side Baptist Church in Beatrice, Nebraska, came to church on Wednesday night to practice, and most of them even came early. That meant they showed up well before the 7:30 starting time.
But one night, March 1, 1950, one by one, two by two, they all had excuses for being late. Marilyn, the church pianist overslept on her after-dinner nap, so she and her mother were late. One girl, a high-school sophomore, was having trouble with her homework. That delayed her, so she was late. One couple couldn’t get their car started. They, and those they were to pick up, were subsequently late.
In fact, all 18 choir members, including the pastor and his wife, were late. Every single person had a good excuse.
So, on that Wednesday evening, at 7:30, the time the choir rehearsal was supposed to begin, not one soul was in the choir loft. This had never happened before.
But here’s the rest of the story. That night, the only night in the history of the church that the choir wasn’t starting to practice at 7:30, was the night that there was a gas leak in the basement of the West Side Baptist Church. At precisely the time at which the choir would have been singing, the gas leak was ignited by the church furnace and the whole church blew up. And … The furnace room was right below the choir loft!
"All that God does, God does well; and all that we do God can redeem."
You're not having a bad hair day; you're suffering from "rebellious follicle syndrome."
"If you judge people, you have no time to love them." -- Mother Teresa
"Age does not protect you from love. But love, to some extent, protects you from age." -- Jeanne Moreau
Noah's Flood?
A visitor to a small country church in Arizona once asked, "Does it ever rain in Arizona?"
A rancher quickly answered, "Yes, it does. Do you remember in the Bible where it rained for 40 days and 40 nights?"
The visitor replied, "Yes, I'm familiar with Noah's flood."
"Well," the rancher puffed up, "We got about two and a half inches of that."
Free radio music site on the internet: www.accuradio.com
REVENGE
Boxing great Muhammad Ali has said that when he was a child his parents gave him a brand new bicycle. A few days later someone stole it. A policeman asked him what he was going to do if he caught the boy who stole it. Ali said that he didn't know.
So the policeman took him to the gym and began teaching him how to box. Ali said, "To this day I never found my bike, but every time I got in the ring, I'd look across at my opponent and say to myself, that's the guy who stole my bike!"
"Dear IRS: I would like to cancel my subscription.
Please remove my name from your mailing list..."
"There is a God-shaped vacuum in the heart of every person, and it can never be filled
by any created thing. It can only be filled by God, made known through Jesus Christ." -- Blaise Pascal
"How come you never see this headline: 'Psychic wins lottery'?"
Wife: You tell a man something, it goes in one ear and comes out of the other.
Husband: You tell a woman something: It goes in both ears and comes out of the mouth.
Fall seven times, stand up eight.-- Japanese Proverb
May today there be peace within. May you trust God that you are exactly where you are meant to be. May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith. May you use those gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you. May you be content knowing you are a child of God. Let this presence settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love. It is there for each and every one of us.
The Devil's Future "Resist the devil and he will flee from you."
A friend shared with me her way of handling the deceiver-tempter: "When Satan comes to remind me about my past, I remind him about his future."
One thing Satan does is continually accuse us before God. Knowing that he does this, we can remind him not only about his future in hell but also that Christ shed his blood on the cross and gave his life to pay for our sins and has washed them all away. So what's there to accuse us of if we have confessed our sins to Christ and asked for and accepted his forgiveness?
Furthermore, because Christ died for us and cleansed us from our sins, we can, in Jesus' name resist the devil and, as James said, he will flee from us. Satan hates the name of Jesus. Be sure to mention it when he comes to tempt you.
Prayer: "Dear God, thank you that you forgive all who confess their sins and ask for your forgiveness. Help me always to resist the devil in Jesus' name, knowing that he will flee from me and has no power over me. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus' name, amen."
He who governed the world before I was born shall take care of it likewise when I am dead. My part is to improve the present moment. --John Wesley
Four-year-old Jason was visiting his grandparents. Grandpa was in his study intently reading. Jason walked in carrying a peach, said something Grandpa didn't catch, and handed the peach to him. Thinking his wife had sent him a snack, Grandpa took it and ate it. Just as he swallowed the last bite, Jason, with lip quivering, said, "But, Pap, I didn't want you to eat it. I just wanted you to get the worm out!"
A man asked his wife what she'd like for her birthday.
"I'd love to be six again," she replied.
On the morning of her birthday, he got her up bright and early and off they went to a local theme park. What a day! He put her on every ride in the park: the Death Slide, the Screaming Loop, the Wall of Fear - everything there was! Wow!
Five hours later she staggered out of the theme park, her head reeling and her stomach upside down. Right to a McDonald's they went, where her husband ordered her a Big Mac along with extra fries and a refreshing chocolate shake.
Then it was off to a movie - the latest Star Wars epic, and hot dogs, popcorn, Pepsi Cola and M&Ms. What a fabulous adventure!
Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed. He leaned over and lovingly asked, "Well, dear, what was it like being six again?"
One eye opened. "You idiot, I meant my dress size."
The moral of this story is: If a woman speaks and a man is actually listening, he will still get it wrong.
"A word to the wise ain't necessary. It's the stupid ones who need the advice." - Bill Cosby
"If life were fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead." - Johnny Carson
"The world cares very little about what a man or woman knows; it is what the man or woman is able to do that counts." -- Booker T. Washington, 1856-1915, Educator and Reformer
"Losers make promises they often break. Winners make commitments they always keep." -- Denis Waitley
HOW TO DRIVE IN PHOENIX:
1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: "FEE-NICKS".
2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour is from noon to 7:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 85 mph. On Loop 101, your speed is expected to match the highway number. Anything less is considered "Wussy".
4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Phoenix has its own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires go second. However, East Valley, SUV-driving, cell phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended, cussed out, and possibly shot.
6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense that can get you shot.
7. Road construction is permanent and continuous in Phoenix. Detour barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next day's driving a bit more exciting.
8. Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, barrels, cones, cows, horses, cats, mattresses, shredded tires, squirrels, rabbits, crows, vultures, javelinas, roadrunners, and the coyotes feeding on any of these items.
9. Maricopa Freeway, Papago Freeway and the "I-10" are the same road.
10. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally activated."
11. If you are in the left lane and only driving 70 in a 55-65 mph zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off" accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
12. For summer driving, it is advisable to wear potholders on your hands.
Prevailing Sins
A recent survey of readers ranked areas of greatest spiritual challenge to them:
1. Materialism
2. Pride
3. Self-centeredness
4. Laziness
5. (Tie) Anger/Bitterness
5. (Tie) Sexual lust.
7. Envy
8. Gluttony
9. Lying
Survey noted temptations were more potent when they had neglected their time with God (81 percent) and when they were physically tired (57 percent). Resisting temptation was accomplished by prayer (84 percent), avoiding compromising situations (76 percent), Bible study (66 percent), and being accountable to someone (52 percent).
Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A: Rename the mail folder to "instruction manuals"
Now that lawyers can advertise, says a reporter, you had better brace yourself for the following pitch from one who specializes in divorces: "Satisfaction guaranteed or your honey back."
A husband visited a marriage counselor and said, "When we were first married, I would come home from the office, my wife would bring my slippers and our cute little dog would
run around barking. Now after ten years it's all different. I come home, the dog brings the slippers and my wife runs around barking."
"Why complain?" said the counselor, "You're still getting the same service."
Normally all of the good choir members of the West Side Baptist Church in Beatrice, Nebraska, came to church on Wednesday night to practice, and most of them even came early. That meant they showed up well before the 7:30 starting time.
But one night, March 1, 1950, one by one, two by two, they all had excuses for being late. Marilyn, the church pianist overslept on her after-dinner nap, so she and her mother were late. One girl, a high-school sophomore, was having trouble with her homework. That delayed her, so she was late. One couple couldn’t get their car started. They, and those they were to pick up, were subsequently late.
In fact, all 18 choir members, including the pastor and his wife, were late. Every single person had a good excuse.
So, on that Wednesday evening, at 7:30, the time the choir rehearsal was supposed to begin, not one soul was in the choir loft. This had never happened before.
But here’s the rest of the story. That night, the only night in the history of the church that the choir wasn’t starting to practice at 7:30, was the night that there was a gas leak in the basement of the West Side Baptist Church. At precisely the time at which the choir would have been singing, the gas leak was ignited by the church furnace and the whole church blew up. And … The furnace room was right below the choir loft!
"All that God does, God does well; and all that we do God can redeem."
You're not having a bad hair day; you're suffering from "rebellious follicle syndrome."
"If you judge people, you have no time to love them." -- Mother Teresa
"Age does not protect you from love. But love, to some extent, protects you from age." -- Jeanne Moreau
Noah's Flood?
A visitor to a small country church in Arizona once asked, "Does it ever rain in Arizona?"
A rancher quickly answered, "Yes, it does. Do you remember in the Bible where it rained for 40 days and 40 nights?"
The visitor replied, "Yes, I'm familiar with Noah's flood."
"Well," the rancher puffed up, "We got about two and a half inches of that."
Free radio music site on the internet: www.accuradio.com
REVENGE
Boxing great Muhammad Ali has said that when he was a child his parents gave him a brand new bicycle. A few days later someone stole it. A policeman asked him what he was going to do if he caught the boy who stole it. Ali said that he didn't know.
So the policeman took him to the gym and began teaching him how to box. Ali said, "To this day I never found my bike, but every time I got in the ring, I'd look across at my opponent and say to myself, that's the guy who stole my bike!"
"Dear IRS: I would like to cancel my subscription.
Please remove my name from your mailing list..."
"There is a God-shaped vacuum in the heart of every person, and it can never be filled
by any created thing. It can only be filled by God, made known through Jesus Christ." -- Blaise Pascal
"How come you never see this headline: 'Psychic wins lottery'?"
Wife: You tell a man something, it goes in one ear and comes out of the other.
Husband: You tell a woman something: It goes in both ears and comes out of the mouth.
Fall seven times, stand up eight.-- Japanese Proverb
posted by joypastordon at 4:26 PM
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