December 17
The Bible is the only book where the Author is always present.
According to the Alaska Department of Fish & Game, both male female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year. Males drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, while females keep theirs until the spring. Therefore, according to everything we've seen, every one of those reindeer on Santa's team is FEMALE. "We should have known this when they were able to find their way."
In the good times and in the bad times _ Jesus is Lord.
Perhaps the merriest season's greeting of all time was given by the angels when they announced Christ's birth: "Unto you is born this day a Savior..."
• "Unto you".......That is personal!
• "Is born this day".......That is present!
• "A Savior"........That is precious!
"If you judge people, you have no time to love them." -- Mother Teresa
In one hand I have a dream, and in the other I have an obstacle. Tell me, which one grabs your attention? Henry Parks
Man is so made that when anything fires his soul, impossibilities vanish. Jean de la Fontaine (1621-1695) Poet
"Jews and Christians are different in a lot of ways. Some Christian people will actually have religious bumper stickers on their cars. Like 'Jesus is King', 'The Lord Saves'. Jews don't do that. You'll never see, 'Honk If You Love Moses.'" - Gregg Rogell
Flee temptation and don't leave a forwarding address.
Oh, what fun it is to ride with one horse, soap and hay
O come, froggy faithful
You'll tell Carol, "Be a skunk, I require"
Good tidings we bring to you and your kid
Gloria. . . . in a raunchy stable.
"While shepherds washed their socks at night"
Gracie Allen's Classic Recipe for Roast Beef
1 large Roast of beef
1 small Roast of beef
Take the two roasts and put them in the oven. When the little one burns, the big one is done
I watched a movie about a baby hen, it was a real chick flick.
Things You Never Say To A Cop
- Man, I have no idea how fast I was goin'!
- Can you hand me your gun?
- Care for a doughnut?
- Whatever you do, don't search my trunk
- What exactly is "legally drunk"?
- So, what's a good bribe go for around here?
- I hope you realize you're about to ruin a perfect record
- Okay, so I was speeding and I let you catch me - how about best of three?
- I want your badge number and your superior officer's name right now!
- You should give the ticket to my unreliable cruise control.
- Speeding is an abstract concept, don't you think?
- If I had known you were there I would never have been going that fast!
- Aren't you the guy from the Village People?
- Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too!
- Well, when I reached down to pick up my bag of money from the bank robbery, my gun fell off my lap and got lodged between the brake pedal and the gas pedal, forcing me to speed out of control.
- Hey, is that a 9 mm? That's nothing compared to this .44 magnum.
- If I were you I'd let me go!
- Met your quota? Happy now?
"A day spent without the sight or sound of beauty, the contemplation of mystery, or the search of truth or perfection is a poverty-stricken day; and a succession of such days is fatal to human life." -- Lewis Mumford
"I am careful not to confuse excellence with perfection. Excellence I can reach for. Perfection is God's business." -- Michael J. Fox
"I do the best I know how, the very best I can, and I mean to keep doing so until the end." -- Abraham Lincoln
"Years may wrinkle the skin, but to give up enthusiasm wrinkles the soul." -- Samuel Ullman
"Not what I have but what I do is my kingdom." --Thomas Carlyle
"The glory that goes with wealth is fleeting and fragile; virtue is a possession glorious and eternal." -- Sallust
"Example moves the world more than doctrine." -- Henry Miller
"Christmas is not a time nor a season, but a state of mind. To cherish peace and goodwill, to be plenteous in mercy, is to have the real spirit of Christmas." -- Calvin Coolidge
"This is Christmas: not the tinsel, not the giving and receiving, not even the carols, but the humble heart that receives anew the wondrous gift, the Christ." ~~-- Frank McKibben
"The message of Christmas is not about the proclamation of a holiday or the declaration of a season. It is about the proclamation of a Person and the declaration of Salvation. The birth of the child in the manger was an event that prophets had written about, the people of Israel had spoken about, the patriarchs of old had wondered about, and the angels of God shouted about on that glorious night when Christ was born." -- Roy Lessin,
Top Ten Things Wives Don't Want to Hear Their Husbands Say on Christmas Day
10. "You like it, hon? Almost look like real diamonds, don't they?"
9. "That cheese ball was for later?"
8. "I never imagined a deep-fried turkey would flame up like that."
7. "Timmy, why is Mommy's present hissing?"
6. "It's the thought that counts, right?"
5. "Hey, the game's about to start!"
4. "That's right, hon. Your own subscription to "Guns & Ammo."
3. "Wow, thanks, Uncle Ted. Bagpipes!"
2. "It's two sizes smaller, darling- - you know, for motivation."
1. "Well, if it isn't Roy and Angela and their seven kids - - with suitcases! What a pleasant surprise!"
Bad Christmas Gifts for Your Pastor
The Left Behind Series "Practical Survivors Guide."
A Monopoly Acts 16 "Get out of jail free" card.
A "Begats" Family Tree Chart.
A Christian Supply House "Woman At the Well" water cooler.
A Gospeland Bookstore Fourth Watch Baptistry swimsuit
Golf Club Covers with the 12 Disciples' Faces on Them
The Damascas Road auto fog Light (It'll blind ya).
A bobble-head statue of the apostle Paul for the back of his car.
A LifeWay Dead Sea Bathroom Deodorizer
An Official Cokesbury Hellfire and Brimstone Backyard Grill
A half- size replica of the Popemobile
A rooftop hot tub. And the Number 1 Bad Christmas Gift for Your Pastor.......
Frankincense Aftershave
Life Is a Choice "Life's not about expecting, hoping and wishing, it's about doing, being and becoming. It's about the choices you've just made, and the ones you're about to make, it's about the things you choose to say--today. It's about what you're going to do after you finish reading this." -- Mike Dooley
Americans will spend nearly 10 hours a day watching television, surfing the Internet, reading books, newspapers and magazines and listening to music this year, the U.S. Census Bureau reported on Friday.
In its "Statistical Abstract of the United States: 2007", the agency notes that Americans drink about a gallon of soda a week, along with a half gallon each of milk, bottled water, coffee and beer. All of which may help explain another figure in the pages of the 1,300-page book of tables and statistics: About two-thirds of Americans are overweight, including one-third of whom are obese! The Census Bureau projects U.S. population will grow to 420 million by mid-century, versus nearly 300 million today.
"The message of Christmas is not about the proclamation of a holiday or the declaration of a season. It is about the proclamation of a Person and the declaration of Salvation. The birth of the child in the manger was an event that prophets had written about, the people of Israel had spoken about, the patriarchs of old had wondered about, and the angels of God shouted about on that glorious night when Christ was born." -- Roy Lessin,
In a survey, 71 percent of Christians admitted that their "understanding of faith was fundamentally shaped by childhood religious experiences." Yet, only 48 percent see it as their responsibility as Christians to share their faith with children. At the same time, 71 percent said they like seeing a child understand how the Bible relates to daily life and 69 percent said they want to be part of a child's spiritual development.
When the message was first given it was given not to religious priests, but to shepherds, men of action who were fulfilling their ordinary duties. This put the message into the stream of ordinary life, instead of into the line of dry-as-dust speculation and religious rituals. Had it come to the priests, they would have searched sacred texts to see if it were valid according to the past. -- E. Stanley Jones
Bibs or Aprons? (Author Unknown)
"For even I, the Son of Man, came here not to be served but to serve others, and to give my life as a ransom for many." - Matthew 20:28
A phrase used at one church said, "We want our members to wear aprons, not bibs." Here's what it means:
Bibs are for people who only want to be fed.
Bibs are for those who are not yet ready or willing to feed themselves.
Bibs are for those who are more interested in being served than in serving.
Bibs are for those who insist that the church exists for them and their needs.
Bibs are for babes in the faith, those who haven't caught God's vision for the church, or those who are not yet of the faith.
Aprons are for those who have a heart to serve others in Jesus' name.
Aprons are for those who know that they are the church.
Aprons are for those who don't mind getting their hands dirty.
Aprons are for those who take the time daily to feed their spiritual hunger.
Aprons are for those who are growing in faith, and hunger to help others grow.
Church growth consultant, Win Arn, interviewed thousands of Christians in America several years ago and asked them, what they though the church existed for. Eighty-eight percent said, "The church exists to serve my needs and the needs of my family." In other words, 88% of Christians in America are still wearing bibs.
On the night when he was betrayed, just hours before he was crucified, the very Son of God took off his outer garments, wrapped a towel around his waist, and washed His disciples' feet. When He was done He said, "I have just given you an example to follow." In other words, Jesus called His disciples to wear aprons, not bibs.
In Matthew, Jesus is recorded as saying, "For even I, the Son of Man, came here not to be served but to serve others, and to give my life as a ransom for many." He also said, "If you cling to your life, you will lose it; but if you give it up for Me, you will find it."
Jesus calls us to wear aprons, not bibs. Which are we wearing?
Sunday, December 17, 2006
According to the Alaska Department of Fish & Game, both male female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year. Males drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, while females keep theirs until the spring. Therefore, according to everything we've seen, every one of those reindeer on Santa's team is FEMALE. "We should have known this when they were able to find their way."
In the good times and in the bad times _ Jesus is Lord.
Perhaps the merriest season's greeting of all time was given by the angels when they announced Christ's birth: "Unto you is born this day a Savior..."
• "Unto you".......That is personal!
• "Is born this day".......That is present!
• "A Savior"........That is precious!
"If you judge people, you have no time to love them." -- Mother Teresa
In one hand I have a dream, and in the other I have an obstacle. Tell me, which one grabs your attention? Henry Parks
Man is so made that when anything fires his soul, impossibilities vanish. Jean de la Fontaine (1621-1695) Poet
"Jews and Christians are different in a lot of ways. Some Christian people will actually have religious bumper stickers on their cars. Like 'Jesus is King', 'The Lord Saves'. Jews don't do that. You'll never see, 'Honk If You Love Moses.'" - Gregg Rogell
Flee temptation and don't leave a forwarding address.
Oh, what fun it is to ride with one horse, soap and hay
O come, froggy faithful
You'll tell Carol, "Be a skunk, I require"
Good tidings we bring to you and your kid
Gloria. . . . in a raunchy stable.
"While shepherds washed their socks at night"
Gracie Allen's Classic Recipe for Roast Beef
1 large Roast of beef
1 small Roast of beef
Take the two roasts and put them in the oven. When the little one burns, the big one is done
I watched a movie about a baby hen, it was a real chick flick.
Things You Never Say To A Cop
- Man, I have no idea how fast I was goin'!
- Can you hand me your gun?
- Care for a doughnut?
- Whatever you do, don't search my trunk
- What exactly is "legally drunk"?
- So, what's a good bribe go for around here?
- I hope you realize you're about to ruin a perfect record
- Okay, so I was speeding and I let you catch me - how about best of three?
- I want your badge number and your superior officer's name right now!
- You should give the ticket to my unreliable cruise control.
- Speeding is an abstract concept, don't you think?
- If I had known you were there I would never have been going that fast!
- Aren't you the guy from the Village People?
- Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too!
- Well, when I reached down to pick up my bag of money from the bank robbery, my gun fell off my lap and got lodged between the brake pedal and the gas pedal, forcing me to speed out of control.
- Hey, is that a 9 mm? That's nothing compared to this .44 magnum.
- If I were you I'd let me go!
- Met your quota? Happy now?
"A day spent without the sight or sound of beauty, the contemplation of mystery, or the search of truth or perfection is a poverty-stricken day; and a succession of such days is fatal to human life." -- Lewis Mumford
"I am careful not to confuse excellence with perfection. Excellence I can reach for. Perfection is God's business." -- Michael J. Fox
"I do the best I know how, the very best I can, and I mean to keep doing so until the end." -- Abraham Lincoln
"Years may wrinkle the skin, but to give up enthusiasm wrinkles the soul." -- Samuel Ullman
"Not what I have but what I do is my kingdom." --Thomas Carlyle
"The glory that goes with wealth is fleeting and fragile; virtue is a possession glorious and eternal." -- Sallust
"Example moves the world more than doctrine." -- Henry Miller
"Christmas is not a time nor a season, but a state of mind. To cherish peace and goodwill, to be plenteous in mercy, is to have the real spirit of Christmas." -- Calvin Coolidge
"This is Christmas: not the tinsel, not the giving and receiving, not even the carols, but the humble heart that receives anew the wondrous gift, the Christ." ~~-- Frank McKibben
"The message of Christmas is not about the proclamation of a holiday or the declaration of a season. It is about the proclamation of a Person and the declaration of Salvation. The birth of the child in the manger was an event that prophets had written about, the people of Israel had spoken about, the patriarchs of old had wondered about, and the angels of God shouted about on that glorious night when Christ was born." -- Roy Lessin,
Top Ten Things Wives Don't Want to Hear Their Husbands Say on Christmas Day
10. "You like it, hon? Almost look like real diamonds, don't they?"
9. "That cheese ball was for later?"
8. "I never imagined a deep-fried turkey would flame up like that."
7. "Timmy, why is Mommy's present hissing?"
6. "It's the thought that counts, right?"
5. "Hey, the game's about to start!"
4. "That's right, hon. Your own subscription to "Guns & Ammo."
3. "Wow, thanks, Uncle Ted. Bagpipes!"
2. "It's two sizes smaller, darling- - you know, for motivation."
1. "Well, if it isn't Roy and Angela and their seven kids - - with suitcases! What a pleasant surprise!"
Bad Christmas Gifts for Your Pastor
The Left Behind Series "Practical Survivors Guide."
A Monopoly Acts 16 "Get out of jail free" card.
A "Begats" Family Tree Chart.
A Christian Supply House "Woman At the Well" water cooler.
A Gospeland Bookstore Fourth Watch Baptistry swimsuit
Golf Club Covers with the 12 Disciples' Faces on Them
The Damascas Road auto fog Light (It'll blind ya).
A bobble-head statue of the apostle Paul for the back of his car.
A LifeWay Dead Sea Bathroom Deodorizer
An Official Cokesbury Hellfire and Brimstone Backyard Grill
A half- size replica of the Popemobile
A rooftop hot tub. And the Number 1 Bad Christmas Gift for Your Pastor.......
Frankincense Aftershave
Life Is a Choice "Life's not about expecting, hoping and wishing, it's about doing, being and becoming. It's about the choices you've just made, and the ones you're about to make, it's about the things you choose to say--today. It's about what you're going to do after you finish reading this." -- Mike Dooley
Americans will spend nearly 10 hours a day watching television, surfing the Internet, reading books, newspapers and magazines and listening to music this year, the U.S. Census Bureau reported on Friday.
In its "Statistical Abstract of the United States: 2007", the agency notes that Americans drink about a gallon of soda a week, along with a half gallon each of milk, bottled water, coffee and beer. All of which may help explain another figure in the pages of the 1,300-page book of tables and statistics: About two-thirds of Americans are overweight, including one-third of whom are obese! The Census Bureau projects U.S. population will grow to 420 million by mid-century, versus nearly 300 million today.
"The message of Christmas is not about the proclamation of a holiday or the declaration of a season. It is about the proclamation of a Person and the declaration of Salvation. The birth of the child in the manger was an event that prophets had written about, the people of Israel had spoken about, the patriarchs of old had wondered about, and the angels of God shouted about on that glorious night when Christ was born." -- Roy Lessin,
In a survey, 71 percent of Christians admitted that their "understanding of faith was fundamentally shaped by childhood religious experiences." Yet, only 48 percent see it as their responsibility as Christians to share their faith with children. At the same time, 71 percent said they like seeing a child understand how the Bible relates to daily life and 69 percent said they want to be part of a child's spiritual development.
When the message was first given it was given not to religious priests, but to shepherds, men of action who were fulfilling their ordinary duties. This put the message into the stream of ordinary life, instead of into the line of dry-as-dust speculation and religious rituals. Had it come to the priests, they would have searched sacred texts to see if it were valid according to the past. -- E. Stanley Jones
Bibs or Aprons? (Author Unknown)
"For even I, the Son of Man, came here not to be served but to serve others, and to give my life as a ransom for many." - Matthew 20:28
A phrase used at one church said, "We want our members to wear aprons, not bibs." Here's what it means:
Bibs are for people who only want to be fed.
Bibs are for those who are not yet ready or willing to feed themselves.
Bibs are for those who are more interested in being served than in serving.
Bibs are for those who insist that the church exists for them and their needs.
Bibs are for babes in the faith, those who haven't caught God's vision for the church, or those who are not yet of the faith.
Aprons are for those who have a heart to serve others in Jesus' name.
Aprons are for those who know that they are the church.
Aprons are for those who don't mind getting their hands dirty.
Aprons are for those who take the time daily to feed their spiritual hunger.
Aprons are for those who are growing in faith, and hunger to help others grow.
Church growth consultant, Win Arn, interviewed thousands of Christians in America several years ago and asked them, what they though the church existed for. Eighty-eight percent said, "The church exists to serve my needs and the needs of my family." In other words, 88% of Christians in America are still wearing bibs.
On the night when he was betrayed, just hours before he was crucified, the very Son of God took off his outer garments, wrapped a towel around his waist, and washed His disciples' feet. When He was done He said, "I have just given you an example to follow." In other words, Jesus called His disciples to wear aprons, not bibs.
In Matthew, Jesus is recorded as saying, "For even I, the Son of Man, came here not to be served but to serve others, and to give my life as a ransom for many." He also said, "If you cling to your life, you will lose it; but if you give it up for Me, you will find it."
Jesus calls us to wear aprons, not bibs. Which are we wearing?
Sunday, December 17, 2006
posted by joypastordon at 9:48 AM
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