February 18

There is a dawn that follows every darkness,
hope that follows every despair,
a beginning that follows every ending.

COLD ‘NUFF FOR YA?
60 above zero: Arizonians turn on the heat. People in Iowa plant gardens.
50 above zero: Californians shiver uncontrollably. People in Cedar Rapids sunbathe.
40 above zero: Italian & English cars won't start. People in Iowa drive with the windows down.
32 above zero: Distilled water freezes. The water in Des Moines gets thicker.
20 above zero: Floridians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, wool hats. People in Iowa throw on a flannel shirt.
15 above zero: New York landlords finally turn up the heat. People in Iowa have the last cookout before it gets cold.
0 People in Miami all die. Iowans close the windows.
10 below zero: Californians fly away to Mexico .. People in Iowa get out their winter coats.
25 below zero: Hollywood disintegrates. The Girl Scouts in Iowa are selling cookies door to door. (True!)
40 below zero: Washington DC runs out of hot air. People in Iowa let the dogs sleep indoors.
100 below zero: Santa Claus abandons the North Pole. Iowa get upset because they can't start the Mini-Van.
460 below zero: ALL atomic motion stops (absolute zero on the Kelvin scale.) People in Iowa start saying..."Cold 'nuff fer ya?"
500 below zero: Hell freezes over. Iowa public schools will open 2 hours late.


THE SEVEN MODERN SINS:
Politics...without Principles
Pleasures.. without Conscience
Wealth...without Work
Knowledge...without Character
Industry.. without Morality
Science ....... without Humanity
Worship.....without Sacrifice

Whenever I find myself in the cellar
of affliction, I always look about for
the wine.--Samuel Rutherford


Did you heard about the nine-year-old whose sister was just starting school. He gave her some advice. "Don't ever learn to spell 'Cat,'" he warned. "Once you do that, they just keep on giving you harder words."

In the PEANUTS cartoon, the team "statistician" brings Charlie Brown, the manager, his report. "I've compiled the statistics on our baseball team for last season," Linus says. "In 12 games we ALMOST scored a run and in 9 games the other team ALMOST didn't score before the first out. In right field, Lucy ALMOST caught 3 balls and once ALMOST made the right play."
"We led the league," he concludes, "in 'almosts,' Charlie Brown."

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"The most pathetic person in the world is someone who has sight but has no vision." - Helen Keller

Instruction in youth is like engraving in stone.-- Columbian Proverb

Living on Earth is expensive, but it does include a free trip around the sun.
If ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy?
Don't cry because its over; smile because it happened.
Most of us go to our grave with our music still inside of us.
Why is it that the people who are late are often so much jollier than the people who have to wait for them.
We could learn a lot from crayons; some are sharp, some are pretty, some are dull, some have weird names, and all are different colors, but they all have to learn to live in the same box.

A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.