March 14

There are 3 kinds of people
Those who make things happen,
Those who watch things happen ~~and~~
Those who wonder what happened.

I joined a health club last year; spent about 400 bucks. Haven't lost a pound. Apparently you have to show up.

I have to exercise early in the morning ... before my brain figures out what I'm doing.

I don't exercise at all. If God meant us to touch our toes, he would have put them further up our bodies.

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.



If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country.

"The measure of a man is the way he bears up under misfortune." -- Plutarch

Worrying is paying interest on a debt you might not even owe." -- Mark Twain

"To be conscious that you are ignorant of the facts is a great step to knowledge." -- Benjamin Disraeli

"The ability to summon positive emotions during periods of intense stress lies at the heart of effective leadership." -- Jim Loehr

"One man has enthusiasm for 30 minutes, another for 30 days, but it is the man who has it for 30 years who makes a success of his life." -- Edward Butler

"I believe that one reason why the church of God at this present moment has so little influence over the world is because the world has so much influence over the church." -- Charles H. Spurgeon

The story is told of a father who took his two boys one afternoon to play miniature golf.
The father walked up to the man at the ticket counter and said, "How much is it to get in?" The young man replied, "Three dollars for you and three dollars for any kid who is older than six. We let them in for free if they are six or younger. How old are your two?" The father replied, "This one is three and the other one is seven, so I owe you $6.00."
The young man at the ticket counter said, "Hey mister, did you just win the lottery or something? You could have saved yourself three bucks if you would have told me that the older one was six; I wouldn't have known the difference."
The father replied, "Yes, that may be true, but the kids would have known the difference...."
"The integrity of the upright will guide them..." (Proverbs 11:3).

He was born in a stable, so you could live in his palace.
“Christ chose a stable so that He could identify with the least of us,
With the poor and vulnerable.
He demanded none of the world’s comforts nor protections.
Jesus came exposed, from the first moment, to all the dangers the world could offer, and so He remained until they led Him to the cross.
He chose the least so that you might have the most.
He entered by the stable that you might dwell forever in the palace.”

There was the story of the Lutheran who was out hiking when it started to rain. In fact it was torrential, so the hiker crawled into a hollow log for shelter. After the rain had continued for many hours he found the log had swollen and he was firmly fixed, in fact stuck in the log. No matter how hard he tried he could not escape. Thinking he was a goner, his whole life passed before him to reflect on. When he came to how much he gave to his church, he shrank so much in shame, he was able to crawl out safely.



Some Rules Kids Won't Learn in School
Rule 1: Life is not fair--get used to it!
Rule 2: The world won't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.
Rule 3: You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school. You won't be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both.
Rule 4: If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss.
Rule 5: Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your grandparents had a different word for burger flipping: they called it opportunity.
Rule 6: If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault, so don't whine about your mistakes; learn from them.
Rule 7: Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you were. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent's generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.
Rule 8: Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life HAS NOT. In some schools, they have abolished failing grades and they'll give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer. This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.
Rule 9: Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off, and very few employers are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF. Do that on your own time.
Rule 10: Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.
Rule 11: Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.
--by Charles J. Sykes, author of the 1996 book, "Dumbing Down our Kids: Why American Kids Feel Good About Themselves, but Can't Read, Write, or Add."

The average cinema bucket of buttered popcorn has 76 grams (2.6oz) of fat — the equivalent of six McDonald’s cheeseburgers — and 1,100 calories.

Drive carefully around the children-we value our tax deduction.

Many marriages would be better if the husband and wife clearly understood that they're on the same side. Zig Ziglar

"How far you go in life depends on you being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving and tolerant of the weak and the strong. Because someday in life you will have been all of these." -- George Washington Carver

After a caller told the Humane Society in Battle Creek, Michigan, about two ducks trapped by the ice on a pond, shelter manager Mike Pearson rushed right over. He inched his way out a considerable distance and, as onlookers stood by, gently gathered up the ducks and
made his way back to safety. Both of the wooden decoys were expected to survive.



Money is on everyone''s mind these days. It was no different two thousand years ago. Jesus knew that money was a major matter to most people. That is why he talked more about money than any other subject,

School Discipline A survey that compared the worst discipline problems in public schools in the 1940s and the 1990s. In the 1940s the worst discipline problems in public schools were: talking, chewing gum, making noise, running in the halls, getting out of turn in line, wearing improper clothes, not putting paper in wastebaskets!
Some of the worst problems in the 1990s [and 2000] are: drug abuse, alcohol abuse, pregnancy, suicide, rape, robbery, assault.

Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground, Ms. Smith stopped to gently reprove the child. Smiling sweetly, the teacher said, "Bobby, when I was a child, I was told if I made ugly faces, it would freeze and I would stay like that." Bobby looked up and innocently replied, "Well, Ms. Smith, you can't say you weren't warned."

Morris goes on vacation to the Holy Land with his wife and mother-in-law. The mother-in-law dies. They go to an undertaker who explains that they can ship the body home but that it'll cost over $5000, whereas they can bury her in the Holy Land for only $150. Morris says, "We'll ship her home." The undertaker asks, "Are you sure? That's an awfully big expense and
we can do a very nice burial here." Morris says, "Look, 2000 years ago you buried a guy here and three days later he rose from the dead. I just refuse to take that kind of chance.

Henry Ford once asked an associate about his life goals. The man replied that his goal was to make a million dollars. A few days later Ford gave the man a pair of glasses made out of two silver dollars. He told the man to put them on and asked what he could see. "Nothing," the man said. "The dollars are in the way." Ford told him that he wanted to teach him a lesson: If his only goal was dollars, he would miss a host of greater opportunities. He should invest himself in serving others not simply in making money.