August 26

"What soap is to the body, laughter is to the soul." --- Yiddish Proverb

"When everyone is looking for gold, it’s a good time to be in the pick and shovel business." -- Mark Twain

”Never try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time, and it annoys the pig.” - Paul Dickson

Survey Shows: One-Fourth of the Country Doesn't Read Books
The typical person in the U.S. claimed to have read four books in the last year — half read more and half read fewer, but one in four did not read any books at all, according to The Associated Press-Ipsos poll released this week. The usual number of books read was seven. The Bible and religious works were read by two-thirds in the survey, more than all other categories. Of those who did read, women and seniors were most avid, and religious works and popular fiction were the top choices.

If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it.
Happy moments, praise God.
Difficult moments, seek God.
Quiet moments, worship God.
Painful moments, trust God.
Every moment, thank God.

With temps in the 100's throughout the Biblebelt ...It's so dry that the Baptists are starting to baptize by sprinkling, the Methodists are giving out wet-wipes, the Presbyterians are giving out rain-checks, and the Catholics are praying for the wine to turn back into water!

The bride was anything but a tidy housekeeper. It didn't bother her much until one evening when her husband called from the hall, somewhat dismayed: "Honey, what happened to the dust on this table? I had a phone number written on it."

Taxiing down the tarmac, the jetliner abruptly stopped, turned around and returned to the gate. After an hour long wait, it finally took off. A concerned passenger asked the flight attendant, "What was the problem?" "The pilot was bothered by a noise he heard in the engine," she explained. "It took us awhile to find a new pilot."

Christians are a lot like fertilizer.
Piled up in one place they will burn a hole in the ground beneath them.
But spread out over a large field, they can do a lot of good.

"When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick." - George Burns

Make sure you have finished speaking before your audience has finished listening. -- Dorothy Sarnoff

Americans Concerned with Children's Future
When asked by the Barna Group in their most recent survey to indicate which of eleven changes were "absolutely necessary" for the United States to address within the next ten years, the well-being of America's children emerged at the top of the list.
Americans were asked the following question:
Think about how you would like the United States to change within the next 10 years. If you had the ability to make the decisions, tell me how important each of the changes I describe would be to you: absolutely necessary, somewhat important, not too important, or a waste of resources.
"Overall care and resources devoted to children" and "the quality of a public school education" tied as absolutely necessary with 82 percent of the vote. "National security in the U.S." came in third as absolutely necessary with a 72 percent vote. The rest rated as follows: "the lives of poor and disadvantaged people" (69%); "the reliability and honesty in news reporting" (63%); "the investment in environmental protection" (60%); "the state of marriage and families" (60%); "the spiritual state of the country" (53%); "people's sense of belonging to a community" (45%) and "the moral content within entertainment" (44%).
The three highest priorities among evangelicals — who prioritized the eleven issues differently — were enhancing the health of Christian churches, upgrading the state of marriage and families, and improving the spiritual condition of the U.S. In each case, evangelicals were more than 30 percentage points more likely than other adults to identify each of those issues as an absolutely necessary focus for the immediate future. They were also 29 points above the national norm in listing improvements in the moral content of mass entertainment as a priority.
George Barna, who directed the study, suggests that Americans want the future to be more different than similar to the way things are in the nation today. "Americans contend that they lead a good life, but the survey points out that it is not necessarily their desired life, nor are they comfortable with the society they are leaving to their children."

Vermont Battles Over Religious License Plate
The state of Vermont has rejected Shawn Byrne's request for a license plate that read "JN36TN," saying it bans religious points of view on license plates. The plate message stands for John 3:16.
A Vermont judge says the Department of Motor Vehicles "has the right to prohibit religious messages on license plates provided it does not discriminate based on the particular message or viewpoint," reports The Associated Press.
Since the state has accepted other vanity plates with messages like "4PEACE" and "ALL4LOVE," Byrne's lawyer is planning to file an objection to the ruling.


Silver surfers beat the young as Web wizards
Pensioners surfing the internet are spending more time online than their younger counterparts. So-called "silver surfers" dedicate an average of 42 hours a month to the World Wide Web, compared with 37.9 hours among 18 to 24-year-olds. A greater interest in hobbies, news and local issues among the elderly is believed to be driving the trend, which sees over-65s account for nine per cent of all time spent online in the UK.

"There are no secrets to success. It is the result of preparation, hard work, and learning from failure." – Colin Powell

"When one door closes another one opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the ones which open for us." -- Alexander Graham Bell

"If you would hit the mark, you must aim a little above it; every arrow that flies feels the attraction of earth." -- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

The teacher asked the class, "If you had one dollar and you asked your father for another, how many dollars would you have?"
Bobby raised his hand and answered, "One dollar."
The teacher shook her head and said unapprovingly, "You don't know your math."
Bobby replied, "You don't know my father."

200 Pounds of Stuff
There is a story of a missionary family in China who was forced to leave the country sometime after the communists took over.
One day a band of soldiers knocked on the door and told this missionary, his wife, and children that they had two hours to pack up before these troops would escort them to the train station. They would be permitted to take with them only two hundred pounds of stuff.
Thus began two hours of family wrangling and bickering--what should they take? What about this vase? It's a family heirloom, so we've got to take the vase. Well, maybe so, but this typewriter is brand new and we're not about to leave that behind. What about some books? Got to take a few of them along. On and on it went, putting stuff on the bathroom scale and taking it off until finally they had a pile of possessions that totaled two hundred pounds on the dot.
At the appointed hour, the soldiers returned.
"Are you ready?" they asked.
"Yes."
"Did you weigh your stuff?"
"Yes, we did."
"Two hundred pounds?"
"Yes, two hundred pounds on the dot."
"Did you weigh the kids?" "Um ... no."
"Weigh the kids!"
In an instant the vase, the typewriter, and the books all became trash. Trash! None of it meant anything compared to the surpassing value of the children.


Good Relationships Make a Good Life By Michael Josephson of Character Counts
If we interviewed 100 people who are unusually happy, I think the most prominent common denominator would be unusually good relationships. Despite the widespread promotion of materialism and vanity in our popular culture, wealth and beauty are not enough to produce happiness. In fact, they're not even necessary. What's more, bad relationships--at work, at home, or among friends--are a surefire source of anguish and heartache. For most of us, the connections that most strongly influence our level of happiness are family bonds. And the most powerful of all are at the inner core of family, especially parent-child relationships.
No matter what your age, your kinship with your parents will always have a unique capacity to generate comfort or pain. Many children have ambivalent feelings about their folks. Yet most crave their approval, respect, and love. Parents have a similar need.
If you're a parent, resolve to make more consistent and conscientious efforts to make your children feel appreciated. If you want to make their lives and yours happier, be careful to not demean or diminish their achievements and to avoid expressions of disappointment. Tell your child you're proud to have him or her as a son or daughter.
And if you still can, give your parents pleasure by showing them you love them, not only for what they did for you as a child, but for who they are now. Talk to them frequently and talk of meaningful things. Ask their advice and don't roll your eyes in disdain if you disagree with it. One of the best ways to express your love is through respect. This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.

Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane, but only a high school diploma to fix one. Reassurance for those of us who fly routinely in our jobs.

"Most people have no idea of the giant capacity we can immediately command when we focus all of our resources on mastering a single area of our lives." -- Anthony Robbins

August 19

"A religion that gives nothing, costs nothing, and suffers nothing, is worth nothing." -- Martin Luther

"A human being is happiest and most successful when dedicated to a cause outside his own individual, selfish satisfaction." -- Benjamin Spock

"The person all wrapped up in himself makes a mighty little package." -- Unknown

"He who throws mud loses ground." -- Unknown

"The secret of getting ahead is getting started. The secret of getting started is breaking your complex overwhelming tasks into small manageable tasks, and then starting on the first one." -- Mark Twain

Special Thoughts Dr. James Dobson's experience at the public school system was from 1960-1963. At the final year, he had to say goodbye to 25 to 30 teary-eyed kids. One young lady whom he said goodbye to in 1963 called him in 1975. Julie had grown up. James remembered her as a seventh grader with a crisis of confidence in herself. Her Latin heritage embarrassed her and she was overweight. She had only one friend, and this friend had moved away the following year. She and Dr. Dobson talked on the phone about the good ole days.
"Where do you go to church?" she asked. He told her, and she asked if she could visit. He told her she could, and the next week she came. In the coming months, she became a Christian.
A few months after her initial visit, Dobson asked her, "Julie, I want to ask you a question. Will you tell me why you went to so much trouble to obtain my unlisted number and call me last fall?"
"Because when I was a seventh-grade student in junior high school, you were the only person in my life who acted like you respected and believed in me, and I wanted to know your God."

You can tell the ideals of a nation by it’s advertising.

"It would be nice if the poor were to get even half of the money that is spent in studying them." - Bill Vaughan

"Most of the time when we think of church, we think of Sunday. But Sunday is really about Monday. If our job as Christians was simply to get together and worship God, we could do that in Heaven. But our job is more than that: that's why God has us strategically placed right where we are." - John Ortberg, “The Church on Monday Morning”

"The great tragedy of life is not unanswered prayer, but unoffered prayer." - F. B. Meyer

"I was worried that my mechanic might try to rip me off, so I was relieved when he told me all I needed was blinker fluid."

I’m not fat, I’m nutritionally enhanced.


Nursing Home Gift Ideas
Bring a relative or friend helpful gifts, such as postcards or envelopes with stamps, small change in a coin purse, perfume samples or a package of greeting cards or playing cards.
According to the Environmental Protection Agency, over 380 billion plastic shopping bags are used in the U.S. annually. Only a tiny fraction (0.6 percent) of the plastic bags are recycled. As many as 1 trillion plastic bags may be used globally each year, or about one million bags per minute.
It takes 1,000 years for plastic bags to degrade. In addition, plastic bags contain harmful chemical such as lead, cadmium, mercury, and diethylhexyl phthalate, which is a carcinogen. About 100,000 birds, marine mammals, whales, and sea turtles each year either choke to death on plastic bags, or die of an intestinal blockage after eating one.

- The church is the only conscience the government has. When the church is silent, the state can have no conscience. - Edward W. Grant

- "I am concerned for the security of our great Nation; not so much because of any threat from without, but because of the insidious forces working from within." -- Douglas MacArthur

- "The only thing that saves us from the bureaucracy is its inefficiency." -- Sen. Eugene J. McCarthy

- I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something. -- Jackie Mason

- Next year we aren't going far, we're going to spend our vacation somewhere near our budget.

Women who use make-up on a daily basis can absorb almost 5 pounds of chemicals into their bodies each year.
Some of the compounds present in make-up have been linked to side effects ranging from skin irritation to cancer.
One class of cosmetic chemicals which could be dangerous are parabens. Traces of parabens have been found in breast tumor samples.
Another chemical, sodium lauryl sulfate, can cause skin irritation.
Nine out of ten women also use out-of-date lipstick and mascara, which can be a breeding ground for harmful bacteria.
Many women use more than 20 different beauty products a day. The effects of these multiple combinations of chemicals are largely unknown.

Settle it in your mind once for all: Christians are not supernaturally protected from the blasts, the horrors, the aches, or the pains of living on this globe. Christians can be unfairly treated, assaulted, robbed, raped, and murdered. We can suffer financial reversals, we can be taken advantage of, abused, neglected, and divorced by uncaring mates. Then howcan we expect to be joyful, unlike those around us? Because God promises that deep within He will give us peace ... an unexplainable, illogical inner peace. --Charles Swindoll

Firefighters, scientists and teachers are seen as the most prestigious occupations by U.S. adults, while bankers, actors and real estate agents are the least prestigious occupations, according to the annual Harris Poll that measures public perception of 23 professions and occupations.
Six occupations are perceived to have "very great" prestige by at least half of all adults — firefighters (61%), scientists (54%), teachers (54%), doctors (52%), military officers (52%) and nurses (50%). They are followed by police officers (46%), priests/ministers/clergy (42%) and farmers (41%).
By contrast, the list includes ten occupations which are perceived by less than 20 percent of adults to have "very great" prestige — real estate brokers (5%), actors (9%), bankers (10%), accountants (11%), entertainers (12%), stockbrokers (12%), union leaders (13%), journalists (13%), business executives (14%) and athletes (16%). Those rated as having "hardly any prestige at all" included stockbrokers (25%), union leaders (30%), entertainers (31%), real estate brokers (34%) and actors (38%).

When you fall in a river, you're no longer a fisherman; you're a swimmer.

Kindness has converted more sinners than zeal, eloquence, or learning. --Frederick William Faber

A Weird New Religious Cult
A sociology professor every year begins his course on "The Family" by reading to his class a letter, from a parent, written to a government official. In the letter the parent complains that his son, once obedient and well motivated, has become involved with some weird new religious cult. The father complains that the cult has taken over the boy's life, has forced him to forsake all of his old friends, and has turned him against his family.
After reading the letter, the professor asks the class to speculate what the father is talking about. Almost without exception, the class immediately assumes that the subject of the letter is a child mixed up with the "Moonies," or some other controversial group. After the class puts out all of the possible conclusions they can think of, the professor surprises them by revealing that the letter, was written by a third century father in Rome, the governor of his province, complaining about this weird religious group called "The Christians."
As we think about what is new and what is old and what is worth holding onto this day, Church historian JaroslavJan Pelikan provides discerning statement as to what is new, what is old and what matters. He writes that "tradition is the living faith of those who have passed and traditionalism is the dead faith of those living." So here we have a guide: Is our faith a dead formalism or a living faith, a blazing fire?


The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist expects it to change; the realist adjusts the sails.

A diamond with a flaw is worth more than a pebble without imperfections. -- Chinese Proverb


"A great pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do." -- Walter Gagehot

August 12

Too many Christians are no longer fishers of men but keepers of the aquarium.

Every morning when you get up, refuse to dwell on what you did wrong the day before. Refuse to dwell on yesterday's disappointments.
Get up each day knowing that God is a loving and forgiving God, and he has great things in store for you.

If you make your church important, it is quite likely to return the favor.

Many people go to church praying that they will hear preaching that will hit someone else.

A church without a purpose is like a house without a door - it has no reason to exist.

The church is not made up of people who are better than the rest, but of people who are trying to become better than they are.

The church is God's workhouse where His jewels are being polished for His palace.

"Cured ham? No thanks, pal. Cured of what? What if it has a relapse on my plate?"

My young grandson called the other day to wish me Happy Birthday. He asked me how old I was, and I told him, "60."
He was quiet for a moment, and then he asked, "Did you start at 1?"


How to Solve Your Physical Problems.
Yesterday I went to the doctor for my yearly physical. My blood pressure was high, my cholesterol was high, I'd gained some weight, and I didn't feel so hot.
My doctor said eating right doesn't have to be complicated and it would solve my physical problems. He said just think in colors; Fill your plate with bright colors; greens, yellows, reds, etc.
I went right home and ate an entire bowl of M&M's and sure enough, I felt better immediately. I never knew eating right could be so easy

A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own childhood was like: "We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods." The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this in. At last she said, "I sure wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!"

A little girl was diligently pounding away on her grandfather's word processor. She told him she was writing a story. "What's it about?" he asked.
"I don't know," she replied. "I can't read."

I didn't know if my granddaughter had learned her colors yet, so I decided to test her. I would point out something and ask what color it was. She would tell me, and always she was correct. But it was fun for me, so I continued. At last she headed for the door, saying sagely, "Grandma, I think you should try to figure out some of these yourself!"

A West Virginia state trooper stopped a woman for going 15 miles over the speed limit. After he handed her a ticket, she asked him, "Don't you give out warnings?" "Yes, ma'am," he replied. "They're all up and down the road. They say, 'Speed Limit 55.' "

Summer Break was over and the teacher was asking the class about their vacations. She turned to little Johnny and asked what he did over the break.
"We visited my grandmother in Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania," he replied.
"That sounds like an excellent vocabulary word," the teacher said. "Can you tell the class how you spell that?"
Little Johnny thought about it and said, "You know, come to think of it, we went to Ohio."

DETERMINATION
"Determination gives you the resolve to keep going in spite of the roadblocks that lay before you." -- Denis Waitley

"Just don't give up trying to do what you really want to do. Where there is love and inspiration, I don't think you can go wrong." -- Ella Fitzgerald

"I think I'd like to be remembered as someone who beat the odds through just plain determination... that I persevered. Because I think that being somewhat of a pest to life, constantly plaguing and pursuing, will bring results." -- Sylvester Stallone

"I never failed once. It just happened to be a 2000l-step process." -- Thomas A. Edison

"It takes 20 years to build a reputation and five minutes to ruin it. IF you think about that, you'll do things differently." -- Warren Buffett

“When the stomach is full, it is easy to talk of fasting” - St. Jerome

"All of us are entitled to our own opinions, but not our own facts." - Daniel Moynihan, former U.S. senator

"On cable TV they have a weather channel – 24 hours of weather. We had something like that where I grew up. We called it a window." - Dan Spencer


"I know God won't give me more than I can handle. I just wish he didn't trust me so much." - Mother Theresa

Only about 50 religious ministries existed in the workplace in the early 1990s. There are more than 900 currently. - Source: USA Today

"Any married man should forget his mistakes, there's no use in two people remembering the same thing." "Freedom of speech is wonderful - right up there with the freedom not to listen"

A Race to the Finish Inspiration by Renee Harms
The Olympics are almost here, and once again the whole world is looking on as thousands of world athletes--the best of the best--compete for the gold. For years they have trained, sacrificed and dreamed, knowing that the gold medal and the honor it carries can only be given to the best performer.
But they consider the prize worth the cost. So, they pour their life into it.
What if we lived for Christ with as much purpose and discipline as the Olympic athletes? Centuries ago, Paul--who was familiar with the Olympic games even then--wrote to the Corinthians,
"Remember that in a race everyone runs, but only one person gets the prize. You also must run in such a way that you will win. All athletes practice strict self-control. They do it to win a prize that will fade away, but we do it for an eternal prize. So I run straight to the goal with purpose in every step. I am not like a boxer who misses his punches. I discipline my body like an athlete, training it to do what it should. Otherwise, I fear that after preaching to others I myself might be disqualified." (1 Cor. 9:24-27)
We may not all be athletes fit for the Olympics, but we are all running the race of our lives, and eternal life with Christ is the prize. Will you do whatever it takes to win?

Words of Wisdom
"A government big enough to give you everything you want is a government big enough to take from you everything you have." -- Gerald Rudolph Ford

"The person who upsets you the most is your best teacher, because they bring you face to face with who you are." -- Lynn Andrews

"Our scientific power has outrun our spiritual power. We have guided missiles and misguided men." -- Martin Luther King Jr.

"Character, in the long-run, is the decisive factor in the life of an individual and of nations alike." – Theodore Roosevelt

"The problems of the world cannot possibly be solved by skeptics or cynics whose horizons are limited by obvious realities. We need men and women who can dream of things that never were." -- John F. Kennedy

"It takes 20 years to build a reputation and five minutes to ruin it. IF you think about that, you'll do things differently." -- Warren Buffett

"The highest reward for a man's toil is not what he gets for it but what he becomes by it." -- John Ruskin

"If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it will always be yours. If it doesn't come back, it was never yours to begin with. But, if it just sits in your living room, messes up your stuff, eats your food, uses your telephone, takes your money, and doesn't appear to realize that you had set it free....... You either married it or gave birth to it"

A song can often touch people in a way that a sermon can't. Music can bypass intellectual barriers and take the message straight to the heart

Human friends can weep with us when we weep; but Jesus is a friend, who when He has wept with us, can wipe away all our tears. --William Nevins


Deep Blue
Ravi Zacharias writes, "You may recall the chess victory of the computer 'Deep Blue' over the world champion Gary Kasparov, which caused many to compare the similarities of machines and humans. Yale professor David Gelertner disagrees. He writes:
"'The idea that Deep Blue has a mind is absurd. How can an object that wants nothing, fears nothing, enjoys nothing, needs nothing, and cares about nothing have a mind? It can win at chess, but not because it wants to. It isn't happy when it wins or sad when it loses. What are its [post]-match plans if it beats Kasparov? Is it hoping to take Deep Pink out for a
night on the town?'". David Gelertner, "How Hard Is Chess?"

Collected Quotes from Reader's Digest
- When dogs leap onto your bed, it's because they adore being with you. When cats leap onto your bed, it's because they adore your bed. - Alisha Everett
- Overheard in a brokerage: "I worry about economists who are so young that they think the Great Depression was ended by Prozac."
- When a friend asked his six-year-old brother why babies are spanked when they are born, the youngster replied, "To get them used to it." - Doug Belknap & Chad Goodwin
-Veterinarian examining cat to cat's owner: "I'm afraid we'll have to keep him overnight. Are you going to need a loaner?" - M. Twohy
- You know your children are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they're going. - P. J. O-Rourke
- The only difference between a yard sale and a trash pickup is how close to the road the stuff is placed. - Mary F. Lindahl's Husband

To confirm her suspicions, my sister needed to purchase a pregnancy test kit. Since I was going to the pharmacy, she asked me to pick one up.
I didn't stop to think how I appeared to the clerk when I waddled up nine months pregnant to pay for the kit.
"Honey," she said, "I can save you $15 right now. You're definitely going to have a baby."

August 5

The only thing of value we can give kids is what we are,not what we have.

We may experience times of unusual closeness, when every prayer is answered in an obvious way and God seems intimate and caring. And we may also experience "fog times," when God stays silent, when nothing works according to formula and all the Bible's promises seem glaringly false. Fidelity involves learning to trust that, out beyond the perimeter of fog, God still reigns and has not abandoned us, no matter how it appears. -- Philip Yancey

Don't expect wisdom to come into your life like great chunks of rock on a conveyor belt. It isn't like that. It's not splashy and bold . . . nor is it dispensed like a prescription across a counter. Wisdom comes privately from God as a by-product of right decisions, godly reactions, and the application of spiritual principles to daily circumstances. Wisdom comes .
. . not from trying to do great things for God . . . but more from being faithful to the small, obscure tasks few people ever see. -- Charles R. Swindoll

Jocks or Nerds?
Is it better to be a jock or a nerd? Michael Jordan having "retired," with $40 million in endorsements, he makes $178,100 a day, working or not.
If he sleeps 7 hours a night, he makes $52,000 every night while visions of sugarplums dance in his head.
If he goes to see a movie, it'll cost him $7.00, but he'll make $18,550 while he's there.
If he decides to have a 5-minute egg, he'll make $618 while boiling it. He makes $7,415/hour more than minimum wage.
If he wanted to save up for a new Acura NSX ($90,000) it would take him a whole 12 hours. If someone were to hand him his salary and endorsement money, they would have to do it at the rate of $2.00 every second. He'll probably pay around $200 for a nice round of golf, but will be reimbursed $33,390 for that round. He'll make about $19.60 while watching the 100-meter dash in the Olympics, and about $15,600 during the Boston Marathon! This year, he'll make more than twice as much as all U.S. Past presidents for all of their terms combined. Amazing isn't it? However... If Jordan saves 100% of his income for the next 500 years, he'll still have less than Bill Gates has at this very moment. Game over. Nerd wins. [SO MUCH FOR JOCKS!!]

"For peace of mind, we need to resign as general manager of the universe." -- Larry Eisenberg


LOVE DEMONSTRATED
A baby bird was heard to ask its mother, "Mother, what is air?" To this she made no reply but spread her wings and flew. A baby fish asked its mother, "Mother, what is water?" She made no reply but swished her tail and swam. A baby ant asked its mother, "Mother, what is dirt?" She made no reply but stretched her legs and dug the burrow a little deeper. A child in a nursery asked her mother, "Mother, what is love?" She made no reply but picked up
the child and hugged her.
Like the lesson about water to a fish, air to a bird, dirt to an ant, and love to a child, we learn about God, His love, and His presence through experience. --Don Aycock

Thoughts On Advertising
- Advertising is the fine art of convincing people that debt is better than frustration.
- Advertising helps raise the standard of living by raising the standard of longing.
- Advertising transforms a yawn into a yearn.
- One of life's biggest disappointments is discovering that the person who writes the ads for the bank is not the one who makes the loans.
- An ad executive's career: Yes sir, No sir, Ulcer.
- If you think advertising doesn't work, consider the millions of people who now think that yogurt tastes good.
- You can tell the ideals of a nation by its advertisements.
- Half the money I spend on advertising is wasted. The trouble is, I don't know which half.

A motorcycle patrolman was rushed to the hospital with an inflamed appendix. The doctors operated and advised him that all was well. However, the patrolman kept feeling something pulling at the hairs on his chest. Worried that it might be a second surgery the doctors hadn't told him about, he finally got enough energy to pull his hospital gown down enough so he could look at what was making him so uncomfortable.
Taped firmly across his hairy chest were three wide strips of adhesive tape, the kind that doesn't come off easily.
Written in large black letters was the sentence. "Get well quick ..... from the nurse you gave a ticket to last week."

If you want your children to turn out well, spend twice as much time with them, and half as much money on them.

"If you're not allowed to laugh in heaven, I don't want to go there."~ Martin Luther

“We cannot possibly flatter the Almighty by hurrying into his presence, flinging a song and prayer at him, and hurrying out of church back into our hassled lifestyles. God is never flattered by our sanctified exhaustion." - Calvin Miller in Into the Depths of God (Bethany, 2001)

He who loses money, loses much; he who loses a friend, loses more; he who loses faith, loses all.

“When asked how much more money they would need to be completely happy, people typically name a figure greater than their current income by about 20 percent.” Economist Richard Easterlin, University of Southern California – Comment on this comic

On Work: Don't watch the clock. Do what it does. Keep going.

Jesus denied that "bigger is better" with his whole being.
- If "bigger is better," why did the Messiah come to Israel -- a tiny, insignificant desert country?
- If "bigger is better," why did God choose the Jews, a tiny minority of the citizenry, as the covenant people?
- If "bigger is better," why did Jesus choose only 12 special companions to teach?
- If "bigger is better," why did God send the Christ before there was satellite television to project his message?
- If "bigger is better," why did Jesus pour out extra love and attention to the poor, the sick, the friendless, the helpless, the very old and the very young?

A THOUGHT FOR THE DAY PATIENCE IN PRAYER
When the idea is not right, God says, "NO."
No - when the idea is not the best.
No - when the idea is absolutely wrong.
No - when though it may help you,
it would create problems for someone else.

When the time is not right, God says, "SLOW."
What a catastrophe it would be if God answered
every prayer at the snap of your fingers.
Do you know what would happen?
God would become your servant, not your master.
Suddenly God would be working for you
instead of you working for God.

When you are not right, God says,"GROW."
The selfish person has to grow in unselfishness.
The cautious person must grow in courage.
The timid person must grow in confidence,
The dominating person must grow in sensitivity.
The critical person must grow in tolerance.
The negative person must grow in positive attitudes.
The pleasure seeking person must grow in
compassion for suffering people.

When everything is all right, God says,"GO."
Then miracles happen:
A hopeless alcoholic is set free.
A drug addict finds release.
A doubter becomes a child in his belief.
Diseased tissue responds to treatment, and healing begins.
The door to your dream suddenly swings open and there stands God saying, "GO!".

Remember: God's delays are not God's denials.
God's timing is perfect.
Patience is what we need in prayer -- Author Unknown

GOD'S DISCIPLINE
"No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it" (Hebrews 12:1).
I read about a man who was walking along a footpath where just ahead of him lay the broken end of a high voltage wire. A stranger saw the risk and yelled out to the man to beware of the danger just ahead, but his voice was drowned out by the noise of the oncoming traffic.
So the stranger picked up a stone, threw it and hit the man on the chest who was so shocked that he stopped immediately and saw the hazardous wire he was about to step on. He was tremendously grateful to the man who hit him with the stone and saved his life.
It's the same with God. Sometimes he has to "hit us with a four by four (log)" to get our attention and correct our way. Many of our trials are his "wake up call" to help us grow and become better persons.
As the writer to the Hebrew Christians said, God's discipline may not be pleasant at the time, but it "produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it."
Prayer: "Dear God, thank you that when I daily commit and trust my life to you, you warn me of dangers ahead, and when I don't hear, you block my way or 'hit' me (when needed) with a 'four by four' to get my attention. Gratefully, in Jesus' name. Amen."

As a jet was flying over Arizona on a clear day, the copilot was providing his passengers with a running commentary about landmarks over the PA system.
"Coming up on the right, you can see the Meteor Crater, which is a major tourist attraction in northern Arizona. It was formed when a lump of nickel and iron, roughly 150 feet in diameter and weighing 300,000 tons, struck the earth at about 40,000 miles an hour, scattering white-hot debris for miles in every direction. The hole measures nearly a mile across and is 570 feet deep."
From the cabin, a passenger was heard to exclaim, "Wow! It just missed the highway!"


When a train goes through a tunnel and it gets dark, you don't throw away the ticket and jump off. You sit still and trust the engineer. -- Corrie Ten Boom Prayer: Dear Lord, help me to trust you even when life seems to be falling apart for me. Amen.
Nine-year-old Joey was asked by his mother what he had learned in Sunday school. "Well, Mom, our teacher told us how God sent Moses behind enemy lines on a rescue mission to lead the Israelites out of Egypt. When he got to the Red Sea, he had his engineers build a pontoon bridge, and all the people walked across safely. He used his walkie-talkie to radio headquarters and call in an air strike. They sent in bombers to blow up the bridge and all the Israelites were saved." "Now, Joey, is that REALLY what your teacher taught you?" his mother asked. "Well, no Mom, but if I told it the way the teacher did, you'd never believe it!

Jesus increased in wisdom and stature.
I'm contented just to grow.
Jesus went about doing good.
I'm contended just to go.
Jesus went to be baptized by John.
I'm contented to take a shower.
Jesus went to the garden to pray.
I'm contented to pick a flower.
Jesus spoke words from the mountain.
I don't study the words he spoke.
Jesus blessed the cup in the upper room.
I'm content to order a Coke.
Jesus said, "Seek first the kingdom."
I haven't begun the search.
Jesus said, "Go to the ends of the earth."
I can't even get to church.