December 27
Seasonal thought. “The coming of Christ by way of a Bethlehem manger seems strange and stunning. But when we take Him out of the manger and invite Him into our hearts, then the meaning unfolds and the strangeness vanishes.” (C Neil Strait)
Christmas. Have you prepared a wish list or a give list? Christmas is giving not wishing.
Different ages see the same thing in different ways. To a child Christmas is wondrous because it is new; to his grandfather Christmas is wondrous because it is old. Zig Ziglar
Today’s churches are in the business of manufacturing a gospel that is acceptable to the world. The Gospel does not need to be manufactured, tweaked, altered, tinkered with, or revamped, it has been in God’s heart from before the foundations of the world. Quit impeaching it and start preaching it.
A pessimist is one who feels bad when he feels good for fear he'll feel worse when he feels better.
Some people believe in miracles but do not expect to see them happen today.
He who mistrusts most should be trusted least.
Some people pray for a bushel, then carry a pint cup.
I worry, I putter, I push and shove, hunting little molehills to make mountains of.
2010 Contract
After serious and cautious consideration, your contract of friendship has been renewed for the New Year 2010! It was a very hard decision to make. So try not to mess it up!!!
My Wish for You in 2010
May peace break into your house and may thieves come to steal your debts. May the pockets of your jeans become a magnet of $100 bills.
May love stick to your face like Vaseline and may laughter assault your lips!
May your clothes smell of success like smoking tires and may happiness slap you across the face and may your tears be that of joy.
May the problems you had forget your home address!
In simple words ....May 2010 be the best year of your life!!!
See if you recognize the songs:
"Oh, what fun it is to ride with one horse, soap and hay. . ."
"He's making a list, chicken and rice . . ."
"On the first day of Christmas, my tulip gave to me . . ."
"In the meadow we can build a snowman, and pretend that he is sparse and brown .
"Noel, Noel, Barney's the king of Israel . . ."
Did you hear about the family who owned an English pointer and an Irish setter? The dogs get together at Christmas time and have pointsetters.
At age 83, Granddad was admitted to the hospital for the first time. "What is this?" he asked as he held up the bell cord they had fastened to his pillow.
"That's the bell, Granddad," I replied.
He pulled it several times, then remarked, "I don't hear it ringing."
"Oh, it doesn't ring," I explained. "It turns on a light in the hall for the nurse."
"Well!" he replied indignantly, "if the nurse wants a light on in the hall, she can turn it on herself."
Jesus' earthly life is framed by two impossibilities apart from God: A virgin's womb and an empty tomb.
This is an ancient art fallen into disuse. A really good, honest compliment shows that you appreciate the person you admire. There is no shortage of critics. But there is a dearth of people who say nice things when they genuinely feel them.
Some of us make resolutions like one man, named George, I heard about recently. He said to a friend: "There's nothing like getting up at six in the morning, going for a run around the park, and taking a brisk shower before breakfast."
His friend Bob asked, "How long have you been doing this?"
George said: "I start tomorrow."
BEWARE! IT’S TIME FOR SAD (SEASONAL AFFECTIVE DISORDER)
Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) affects about 5% of us severely and perhaps 25% of us more mildly. Women and young adults are more likely to suffer from it. It’s a form of depression that, according to the National Mental Health Association (NMHA), is a real illness with sometimes severe symptoms. It’s worse in January and February, though starts as early as September. SAD is believed to be caused by melatonin, a sleep-related hormone secreted by the pineal gland in the brain. Melatonin production increases in the dark, so in the winter, when the days are shorter and darker, production increases, causing symptoms of depression. SAD is extremely rare for people living within 30 degrees of the Equator, where daylight hours are long and extremely bright.
The Symptoms? Sleep problems, lethargy, overeating, depression, social problems, anxiety, loss of libido, mood changes, and a weakened immune system. For complete description, go here: http://www.sada.org.uk/symptoms.htm.
The Cure? Light suppresses the secretion of melatonin, so for lighter cases, get outside more, exercise outside, and arrange for more light at work and at home. Phototherapy has been helpful in more severe cases. A light box can be used that emits very bright light through a filter. Please check with your personal physician if you think you have SAD. About the Author : Susan Dunn, MA Clinical Psychology, cEQc, The EQ CoachTM, can be reached online at http://www.susandunn.cc.
- Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.
- If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
- I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, Where's the self-help section? She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
- Could it be that all those trick-or-treaters wearing sheets aren't going as ghosts but as mattresses?
- Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?
- Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?
- How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?
Without the Way, there is no going; without the Truth, there is no knowing; without the Life, there is no living. — Thomas á Kempis.
The bus driver stopped to pick up the child for preschool. The driver noticed the child hugging an older woman as he left the house. The driver asked, "Is that your grandmother?"
"Yes," the little boy answered, "she's visiting us for Christmas."
"How nice! Where does she live?"
"She lives at the airport. Whenever we want her, we just go out there and get her."
It’s likely that if Jesus were still living among us today, He would be considered a criminal. Everyone would be mad at him ...
• The FDA for turning water into wine without a license;
• The EPA for killing fig trees;
• The American Medical Association for practicing medicine without a license;
• The Department of Health for asking people to open graves, for raising the dead and for feeding 5,000 people in un-sanitary conditions;
• The NEA for teaching without a certificate;
• OSHA for walking on water without a life jacket and other unsafe boating practices;
• SPCA for driving hogs into the sea;
• The National Board of Psychiatrists for giving advice on how to live a guilt-free life;
• The NOW for not choosing a female apostle;
• The Interfaith Movement for condemning all other religions.
“Mary's Dream . . ." (By Lloyd D. Lance)
"I had a dream Joseph. I do not understand it, not really, but I think it was about a birthday celebration for our Son. I think that was what it was all about.
"The people had been preparing for it for about six weeks. They had decorated the house and bought new gifts.
"It was peculiar, though, because the presents weren't for our Son. They wrapped them in beautiful paper and tied them with lovely bows and stacked them under a tree.
"Yes, a tree, Joseph, right in their house! They decorated the tree, also. The branches were full of glowing balls and sparkling ornaments. There was a figure on the top of the tree. It looked like an angel might look. Oh, it was beautiful.
"Everyone was laughing and happy. They were all excited about the gifts.
"They gave the gifts to each other, Joseph, not to our Son. I don't think they even knew Him. They never mentioned His name.
"Doesn't it seem odd for people to go to all that trouble to celebrate someone's birthday if they don't know Him?
"I had the strangest feeling that if our Son had gone to this celebration, He would have been intruding.
"Everything was so beautiful, Joseph, and everyone so full of cheer, but it made me want to cry.
"How sad for Jesus . . . not to be wanted at His own birthday celebration.
"I'm glad it was only a dream.
"How terrible, Joseph, if it had been real."
There was once a family that celebrated Christmas every year with a birthday party for Jesus. An extra chair of honor at the table became the family's reminder of Jesus' presence. A cake with candles, along with the singing of "Happy Birthday" expressed the family's joy in Jesus presence.
One year a Christmas afternoon visitor asked five-year-old Ruth, "Did you get everything you wanted for Christmas?" After a moment's hesitation, she answered, "No, but then it's not my birthday!"
A couple were going out for the evening. They'd gotten ready, all dolled up, cat put out, etc. The taxi arrives, and as the couple got out, the cat shoots back in. They don't want the cat shut in the house, so the wife goes out to the taxi while the husband goes upstairs to chase the cat out.
The wife, not wanting it known that the house will be empty explains to the taxi driver "He's just going upstairs to say goodbye to my mother."
A few minutes later, the husband gets into the cab - "Sorry I took so long," he says, "The stupid old thing was hiding under the bed and I had to poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out!"
How much television will the average American watch next year? According to the just-released Statistical Abstract of the United States, the answer is 1,555 hours (678 hours of broadcast TV and 877 hours of cable and satellite offerings). That works out to 4.3 hours daily. When other media are added in (radio, Internet, newspapers, magazines, books and video games), the daily media consumption figure rises to a whopping 9.65 hours. Only one activity topped media use: breathing.
Christmas. Have you prepared a wish list or a give list? Christmas is giving not wishing.
Different ages see the same thing in different ways. To a child Christmas is wondrous because it is new; to his grandfather Christmas is wondrous because it is old. Zig Ziglar
Today’s churches are in the business of manufacturing a gospel that is acceptable to the world. The Gospel does not need to be manufactured, tweaked, altered, tinkered with, or revamped, it has been in God’s heart from before the foundations of the world. Quit impeaching it and start preaching it.
A pessimist is one who feels bad when he feels good for fear he'll feel worse when he feels better.
Some people believe in miracles but do not expect to see them happen today.
He who mistrusts most should be trusted least.
Some people pray for a bushel, then carry a pint cup.
I worry, I putter, I push and shove, hunting little molehills to make mountains of.
2010 Contract
After serious and cautious consideration, your contract of friendship has been renewed for the New Year 2010! It was a very hard decision to make. So try not to mess it up!!!
My Wish for You in 2010
May peace break into your house and may thieves come to steal your debts. May the pockets of your jeans become a magnet of $100 bills.
May love stick to your face like Vaseline and may laughter assault your lips!
May your clothes smell of success like smoking tires and may happiness slap you across the face and may your tears be that of joy.
May the problems you had forget your home address!
In simple words ....May 2010 be the best year of your life!!!
See if you recognize the songs:
"Oh, what fun it is to ride with one horse, soap and hay. . ."
"He's making a list, chicken and rice . . ."
"On the first day of Christmas, my tulip gave to me . . ."
"In the meadow we can build a snowman, and pretend that he is sparse and brown .
"Noel, Noel, Barney's the king of Israel . . ."
Did you hear about the family who owned an English pointer and an Irish setter? The dogs get together at Christmas time and have pointsetters.
At age 83, Granddad was admitted to the hospital for the first time. "What is this?" he asked as he held up the bell cord they had fastened to his pillow.
"That's the bell, Granddad," I replied.
He pulled it several times, then remarked, "I don't hear it ringing."
"Oh, it doesn't ring," I explained. "It turns on a light in the hall for the nurse."
"Well!" he replied indignantly, "if the nurse wants a light on in the hall, she can turn it on herself."
Jesus' earthly life is framed by two impossibilities apart from God: A virgin's womb and an empty tomb.
This is an ancient art fallen into disuse. A really good, honest compliment shows that you appreciate the person you admire. There is no shortage of critics. But there is a dearth of people who say nice things when they genuinely feel them.
Some of us make resolutions like one man, named George, I heard about recently. He said to a friend: "There's nothing like getting up at six in the morning, going for a run around the park, and taking a brisk shower before breakfast."
His friend Bob asked, "How long have you been doing this?"
George said: "I start tomorrow."
BEWARE! IT’S TIME FOR SAD (SEASONAL AFFECTIVE DISORDER)
Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) affects about 5% of us severely and perhaps 25% of us more mildly. Women and young adults are more likely to suffer from it. It’s a form of depression that, according to the National Mental Health Association (NMHA), is a real illness with sometimes severe symptoms. It’s worse in January and February, though starts as early as September. SAD is believed to be caused by melatonin, a sleep-related hormone secreted by the pineal gland in the brain. Melatonin production increases in the dark, so in the winter, when the days are shorter and darker, production increases, causing symptoms of depression. SAD is extremely rare for people living within 30 degrees of the Equator, where daylight hours are long and extremely bright.
The Symptoms? Sleep problems, lethargy, overeating, depression, social problems, anxiety, loss of libido, mood changes, and a weakened immune system. For complete description, go here: http://www.sada.org.uk/symptoms.htm.
The Cure? Light suppresses the secretion of melatonin, so for lighter cases, get outside more, exercise outside, and arrange for more light at work and at home. Phototherapy has been helpful in more severe cases. A light box can be used that emits very bright light through a filter. Please check with your personal physician if you think you have SAD. About the Author : Susan Dunn, MA Clinical Psychology, cEQc, The EQ CoachTM, can be reached online at http://www.susandunn.cc.
- Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.
- If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
- I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, Where's the self-help section? She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
- Could it be that all those trick-or-treaters wearing sheets aren't going as ghosts but as mattresses?
- Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?
- Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?
- How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?
Without the Way, there is no going; without the Truth, there is no knowing; without the Life, there is no living. — Thomas á Kempis.
The bus driver stopped to pick up the child for preschool. The driver noticed the child hugging an older woman as he left the house. The driver asked, "Is that your grandmother?"
"Yes," the little boy answered, "she's visiting us for Christmas."
"How nice! Where does she live?"
"She lives at the airport. Whenever we want her, we just go out there and get her."
It’s likely that if Jesus were still living among us today, He would be considered a criminal. Everyone would be mad at him ...
• The FDA for turning water into wine without a license;
• The EPA for killing fig trees;
• The American Medical Association for practicing medicine without a license;
• The Department of Health for asking people to open graves, for raising the dead and for feeding 5,000 people in un-sanitary conditions;
• The NEA for teaching without a certificate;
• OSHA for walking on water without a life jacket and other unsafe boating practices;
• SPCA for driving hogs into the sea;
• The National Board of Psychiatrists for giving advice on how to live a guilt-free life;
• The NOW for not choosing a female apostle;
• The Interfaith Movement for condemning all other religions.
“Mary's Dream . . ." (By Lloyd D. Lance)
"I had a dream Joseph. I do not understand it, not really, but I think it was about a birthday celebration for our Son. I think that was what it was all about.
"The people had been preparing for it for about six weeks. They had decorated the house and bought new gifts.
"It was peculiar, though, because the presents weren't for our Son. They wrapped them in beautiful paper and tied them with lovely bows and stacked them under a tree.
"Yes, a tree, Joseph, right in their house! They decorated the tree, also. The branches were full of glowing balls and sparkling ornaments. There was a figure on the top of the tree. It looked like an angel might look. Oh, it was beautiful.
"Everyone was laughing and happy. They were all excited about the gifts.
"They gave the gifts to each other, Joseph, not to our Son. I don't think they even knew Him. They never mentioned His name.
"Doesn't it seem odd for people to go to all that trouble to celebrate someone's birthday if they don't know Him?
"I had the strangest feeling that if our Son had gone to this celebration, He would have been intruding.
"Everything was so beautiful, Joseph, and everyone so full of cheer, but it made me want to cry.
"How sad for Jesus . . . not to be wanted at His own birthday celebration.
"I'm glad it was only a dream.
"How terrible, Joseph, if it had been real."
There was once a family that celebrated Christmas every year with a birthday party for Jesus. An extra chair of honor at the table became the family's reminder of Jesus' presence. A cake with candles, along with the singing of "Happy Birthday" expressed the family's joy in Jesus presence.
One year a Christmas afternoon visitor asked five-year-old Ruth, "Did you get everything you wanted for Christmas?" After a moment's hesitation, she answered, "No, but then it's not my birthday!"
A couple were going out for the evening. They'd gotten ready, all dolled up, cat put out, etc. The taxi arrives, and as the couple got out, the cat shoots back in. They don't want the cat shut in the house, so the wife goes out to the taxi while the husband goes upstairs to chase the cat out.
The wife, not wanting it known that the house will be empty explains to the taxi driver "He's just going upstairs to say goodbye to my mother."
A few minutes later, the husband gets into the cab - "Sorry I took so long," he says, "The stupid old thing was hiding under the bed and I had to poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out!"
How much television will the average American watch next year? According to the just-released Statistical Abstract of the United States, the answer is 1,555 hours (678 hours of broadcast TV and 877 hours of cable and satellite offerings). That works out to 4.3 hours daily. When other media are added in (radio, Internet, newspapers, magazines, books and video games), the daily media consumption figure rises to a whopping 9.65 hours. Only one activity topped media use: breathing.
posted by joypastordon at 2:41 PM
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