May 13

*The most important occupation on earth for a woman is to be a real mother to her children. It does not have much glory to it; there is a lot of grit and grime. It’s kind of like a grimy shepherd taking care of wandering sheep. But there is no greater place of ministry, position, or power than that of a mother. --Phil Whisenhunt

Home should be a retreat to which a son or daughter can return in triumph or defeat, in victory or disgrace, and know they will be loved. --Unknown

One of the most pleasant ways to a mother's heart is through the doors of a good restaurant.--Unknown

Protestant Church Attendees
Among Protestants, Pentecostals have the highest rate of church attendance with 66 percent saying they attend church weekly or almost weekly, reports USA Today Snapshot. In second place are the Southern Baptists with a 62 percent attendance rate. Other Baptists take third with 54 percent saying they attend church regularly. Methodists and Presbyterians come in fourth with a 44 percent rate of attendance and Episcopalians come in last with only 31 percent saying they go weekly to church.

• Babies and TV
It may surprise you to learn that about 90 percent of U.S. children under age two and as many as 40 percent of infants under three months are regular watchers of television, DVDs and videos, according to research by Frederick Zimmerman of the University of Washington. Zimmerman noted that they don't know from the study whether this is good or bad, but the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that children under age two should not watch any TV and older children should watch no more than two hours a day of quality programming.


WHY GOD MADE MOMS "Why God made moms" answers given by elementary school age children to the following questions.
Why did God make mothers?
1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
2. Mostly to clean the house.
How did God make mothers?
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
What ingredients are mothers made of?
1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly us string, I think.
What kind of little girl was your mom?
1. My mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.
2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
3. They say she used to be nice.
What did mom need to know about dad before she married him?
1. His last name.
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?
Why did your mom marry your dad?
1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my mom eats a lot.
2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
3. My grandma says that mom didn't have her thinking cap on.
Who's the boss at your house?
1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball.
2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.
What's the difference between moms and dads?
1. Moms work at work & work at home, & dads just go to work at work.
2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
3. Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.
What does your mom do in her spare time?
1. Mothers don't do spare time.
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.
What would it take to make your mom perfect?
1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue.
If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?
1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.
2. I'd make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.
3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on her back.

"One person with passion is better than forty who are merely interested." -- Thomas K. Connellan

"You can preach a better sermon with your life than with your lips." -- Oliver Goldsmith


Mothers
I believe in the love of all mothers, and its importance in the lives of the children they bear.
It is stronger than steel, softer than down, and more resilient than a green sapling on the hillside.
It closes wounds, melts disappointments, and enables the weakest child to stand tall and straight in the fields of adversity.
I believe that this love, even at its best, is only a shadow of the love of God . . .
And I believe that one of the most beautiful sights in the world is a mother who lets this greater love flow through her to her child,
Blessing the world with the tenderness of her touch and the tears of her joy. --John Killinger

The Meanest Mom
Was your Mom mean?? I know mine was.
We had the meanest mother in the whole world!
While other kids ate candy for breakfast, we had to have cereal, eggs and toast.
When others had a Pepsi and a Twinkie for lunch, we had to eat sandwiches.
And you can guess our mother fixed us a dinner that was different from what other kids had, too.
Mother insisted on knowing where we were at all times. You'd think we were convicts in a prison. She had to know who our friends were, and what we were doing with them.
She insisted that if we said we would be gone for an hour, we would be gone for an hour or less.
We were ashamed to admit it, but she had the nerve to break the Child Labor Laws by making us work. We had to wash the dishes, make the beds, learn to cook, vacuum the floor, do laundry, and all sorts of cruel jobs. I think she would lie awake at night thinking of more things for us to do.
She always insisted on us telling the truth the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. By the time we were teenagers, she could read our minds. Then, life was really tough!
Mother wouldn't let our friends just honk the horn when they drove up. They had to come up to the door so she could meet them. While everyone else could date when they were 12 or 13, we had to wait until we were 16.
Because of our mother we missed out on lots of things other kids experienced. None of us have ever been caught shoplifting, vandalizing other's property or ever arrested for any crime.
It was all her fault. We never got drunk, took up smoking, stayed out all night, or a million other things other kids did.
Sundays were reserved for church, and we never missed once. We knew better than to ask to spend the night with a friend on Saturdays. Now that we have left home, we are all God-fearing, educated, honest, adults.
We are doing our best to be mean parents just like Mom was. I think that is what's wrong with the world today. It just doesn't have enough mean Moms anymore.

Anna Jarvis, the leader of the early 20th century movement to make Mother's Day a national holiday, later fought against the holiday. She felt the day had become over-commercialized. In fact, she was so frustrated that most people sent greeting cards on the holiday that she once called the cards, "a poor excuse for the letter you are too lazy to write." Jarvis and her sister spent their family inheritance fighting against the holiday. They both died in poverty. - Source: Wikipedia.com

* An American student will have as many as 14 jobs by the time he or she turns age 38.
* More than 3,000 new books are published in the United States every DAY.
* The amount of new technical information doubles every two years, which means students attending a technical school will learn information that will be outdated by their third year.
* The number of words in the English language is 540,000 -- that is FIVE times the number of words present during Shakespeare's time.

"Death is more universal than life; everyone dies but not everyone lives." - A. Sachs


"Someday you will read in the papers that D.L. Moody of Northfield is dead. Don't you believe a word of it. At that moment I shall be more alive than I am now. I shall have gone higher, that is all - out of this old clay tenement into a house that is immortal, a body that sin cannot touch, that sin cannot taint, a body fashioned like his glorious body. I was born in the flesh in 1837; I was born of the Spirit in 1856. That which is born of the flesh may die; that which is born of the Spirit will live forever." - D.L. Moody

"I remind myself every morning: Nothing I say this day will teach me anything. So if I'm going to learn, I must do it by listening." - Larry King

Ed Stetzer and Mike Dodson's recent book, Comeback Churches, focuses on 324 churches that have showed significant recent growth after a period of plateau. According to the book the majority of these "Comeback Churches" raised their membership expectations as part of their turnaround. Only one of these 324 churches reported lowering membership standards. - Source: Ed Stetzer & Mike Dodson, Comeback Churches (B & H Publishing, 2007)

The heart rates and brain activity of couples in their 20s was monitored while they first melted chocolate in their mouths, and then kissed. The "buzz" caused by chocolate was more intense, and lasted four times longer, than that caused by kissing.
Chocolate also doubled volunteers' heart rates, from a resting rate of about 60 beats per minute to 140. Kissing did increase heart rate, but not to the same degree.

Kyle and Justin were about to eat with the baby-sitter when 6-year-old Kyle said to her, "You can't sit in Daddy's seat!"
"Daddy's not home," the baby-sitter replied. "Since I'm responsible for you while he's gone, I can sit here. Today I'm the boss."
Justin, the 4-year-old, quickly piped up, "If you're the boss, then you sit over there." He pointed to his mother's chair.

"Some want to live within the sound of church or chapel bell, I want to run a rescue shop within a yard of hell."-- C. T. Studd

"Too bad the only people who know how to run the country are busy driving cabs and cutting hair." - George Burns


RULES TO LIVE BY
Don't throw a brick straight up.
Don't take long naps while driving.
Don't microwave yourself too often.
When using an acetylene torch, don't feel the flame to see if it's sufficiently hot.
If you're on a ball field and someone shouts "Heads up!" don't actually raise your head up. Cover it with your arms and duck.
Don't tie yourself to an airplane propeller.
No matter how tempting it is to be one with nature, stay on the outside of all fences at the zoo.
When sticking thumb tacks into bulletin boards, press on the flat end.
When you find a prize in a box of " Crackerjacks " there is no need to report it on your income tax return.
"Time" magazine is not suitable to wear on your wrist. Get a watch.
One + one = two. Try to remember that.
Don't count the peas in a can. It is not an exact science.
For faster elevator service press the elevator button many times.

In an old Peanuts strip, Peppermint Patty and Violet are reflecting on being a grandmother. After Patty declares that she would like to be a grandmother, Violet agrees and says it would be nice because all they have to do is “sit and rock” (not quite the case, is it?) The girls then decide that the trouble with being a grandmother is that first you have to be a wife and then a mother…and Violet sighs, “I know it…it’s all those preliminaries that get me!”