August 6, 2006
A small boy told a Sunday school teacher: "When you die, God takes care of you like your parents did when you were alive — only God doesn't yell at you all the time."
Now That’s Hot The highest temperature recorded anywhere on Earth was in Aziziyah, Libya, in September of 1922 – 136 degrees Fahrenheit.
The highest temperature recorded in the United States was in Death Valley, Calif., in July of 1913 – 134 degrees Fahrenheit.
"I am convinced that modern-day miracles can take place when people enter our churches. The hour on Sunday can be a time of wonder, a time to quiet souls, spark deep emotion, and prompt turning points with eternal significance."
"Life affords no greater responsibility, no greater privilege, than the raising of the next generation." - C. Everett Koop
"There is nothing that is more dangerous to your own salvation, more unworthy of God and more harmful to your own happiness, than that you should be content to remain as you are." - Francois Fenelon, French Archbishop, 444 Surprising Quotes about Jesus
"My gym has two-pound weights. If you're using two-pound weights, how did you even open the door to the gym? What's your dream? To pump up and open your mail?" - Dave Attell
"The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well." -- Ralph Waldo Emerson
"When your dad is mad and asks you, 'Do I look stupid?' don't answer him." -- Michael, 14
"There are many ways of going forward, but only one way of standing still." -- Franklin D. Roosevelt
A Thought for the Day
There's an old fable about a miserable rich man who went to visit a rabbi. The rabbi took the rich man by the hand and led him to a window. "Look out there," he said. The rich man looked into the street. "What do you see?" asked the rabbi. "I see men, women, and children," answered the rich man. Again the rabbi took him by the hand and this time led him to a mirror. "Now what do you see?" "Now I see myself," the rich man replied.
Then the rabbi said, "Behold, in the window there is glass, and in the mirror there is glass. But the glass of the mirror is covered with a little silver, and no sooner is the silver added than you cease to see others, but you see only yourself....
Recently while preparing my grandson for kindergarten, I asked him to state his full name. He did this without a problem, but when I asked his address, he hesitated a few seconds. Then he proceeded with, "WWW dot...Oh, I can't remember the rest of it."
What a difference technology has made!!
A little boy was once asked by his Sunday school teacher if he knew the Ten commandments. "No ma'am," came the reply, "my dad said that I don't have to know them since they are doing away with them anyway."
"Use the past as a springboard, not as a sofa." – Unknown
"The will to conquer is the first condition of victory." -- Ferdinand Foch
"When I was young, I admired clever people. Now that I am old, I admire kind people." -- Rabbi Abraham Heschel
"Beginning today, treat everyone you meet as if they will not be here tomorrow. Extend to them all the care, kindness and understanding you can muster, and do it with no thought of any reward. Your life will never be the same again." -- Og Mandino
"The effects of kindness are not always seen immediately. Sometimes it takes years until your kindness will pay off. Sometimes you never see the fruits of your labors, but they are there, deep inside of the soul of the one you touched." -- Dan Kelly
A nervous young minister, new to the church, told the flock, "For my text today, I will take the words, 'And they fed five men with five thousand loaves of bread and two thousand fishes.'"
A member of the flock snicked at the preacher's snafu, raised his hand and said, "That's not much of a trick. I could do that."
The minister didn't respond. However, the next Sunday he decided to repeat the text. This time he did it properly, "And they fed five thousand men with five loaves of bread and two fishes." Smiling, the minister said to the noisy man, "Could
you do that, Mr. Perkins?"
The member of the flock said, "I sure could."
"How would you do it?"
"With all the food I had left over from last Sunday!"
A Messy Kitchen Real signs found in the real kitchens of real people.
"A messy kitchen is a happy kitchen and this kitchen is delirious."
"A clean house is a sign of a misspent life."
"If we are what we eat, then I'm easy, fast, and cheap."
"Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator."
"My next house will have no kitchen, just vending machines."
"A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand."
These sayings point to some of our society's attitudes about food: 'only junk food is enjoyable', 'food is meant to satisfy us', 'if I had to cook it, it doesn't taste good', and 'as long as it's not good for me, I should eat as much as I want'. We stuff ourselves, trying to fill the hole inside of us with food, as if we could eat something that would satisfy us. But we
could stuff ourselves at every meal and still be hungry for something deeper!
God-shaped Vacuum "There is a God-shaped vacuum in the heart of every person, and it can never be filled by any created thing. It can only be filled by God, made known through Jesus Christ." Blaise Pascal
A Chinese scholar was lecturing when all the lights in the auditorium went out. He asked members of the audience to raise their hands. As soon as they had all complied, the lights went on again. He then said, "Prove wisdom of Old Chinese saying: 'Many hands make light work."
Fred was telling his friend how his uncle tried to make a new car for himself..."so he took wheels from a Cadillac, a radiator from a Ford, some tires and fenders from a Plymouth..." "Holy Cow," interrupted his friend, "What did he end up with?" And Fred replied, "Two years."
Now That’s Hot The highest temperature recorded anywhere on Earth was in Aziziyah, Libya, in September of 1922 – 136 degrees Fahrenheit.
The highest temperature recorded in the United States was in Death Valley, Calif., in July of 1913 – 134 degrees Fahrenheit.
"I am convinced that modern-day miracles can take place when people enter our churches. The hour on Sunday can be a time of wonder, a time to quiet souls, spark deep emotion, and prompt turning points with eternal significance."
"Life affords no greater responsibility, no greater privilege, than the raising of the next generation." - C. Everett Koop
"There is nothing that is more dangerous to your own salvation, more unworthy of God and more harmful to your own happiness, than that you should be content to remain as you are." - Francois Fenelon, French Archbishop, 444 Surprising Quotes about Jesus
"My gym has two-pound weights. If you're using two-pound weights, how did you even open the door to the gym? What's your dream? To pump up and open your mail?" - Dave Attell
"The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well." -- Ralph Waldo Emerson
"When your dad is mad and asks you, 'Do I look stupid?' don't answer him." -- Michael, 14
"There are many ways of going forward, but only one way of standing still." -- Franklin D. Roosevelt
A Thought for the Day
There's an old fable about a miserable rich man who went to visit a rabbi. The rabbi took the rich man by the hand and led him to a window. "Look out there," he said. The rich man looked into the street. "What do you see?" asked the rabbi. "I see men, women, and children," answered the rich man. Again the rabbi took him by the hand and this time led him to a mirror. "Now what do you see?" "Now I see myself," the rich man replied.
Then the rabbi said, "Behold, in the window there is glass, and in the mirror there is glass. But the glass of the mirror is covered with a little silver, and no sooner is the silver added than you cease to see others, but you see only yourself....
Recently while preparing my grandson for kindergarten, I asked him to state his full name. He did this without a problem, but when I asked his address, he hesitated a few seconds. Then he proceeded with, "WWW dot...Oh, I can't remember the rest of it."
What a difference technology has made!!
A little boy was once asked by his Sunday school teacher if he knew the Ten commandments. "No ma'am," came the reply, "my dad said that I don't have to know them since they are doing away with them anyway."
"Use the past as a springboard, not as a sofa." – Unknown
"The will to conquer is the first condition of victory." -- Ferdinand Foch
"When I was young, I admired clever people. Now that I am old, I admire kind people." -- Rabbi Abraham Heschel
"Beginning today, treat everyone you meet as if they will not be here tomorrow. Extend to them all the care, kindness and understanding you can muster, and do it with no thought of any reward. Your life will never be the same again." -- Og Mandino
"The effects of kindness are not always seen immediately. Sometimes it takes years until your kindness will pay off. Sometimes you never see the fruits of your labors, but they are there, deep inside of the soul of the one you touched." -- Dan Kelly
A nervous young minister, new to the church, told the flock, "For my text today, I will take the words, 'And they fed five men with five thousand loaves of bread and two thousand fishes.'"
A member of the flock snicked at the preacher's snafu, raised his hand and said, "That's not much of a trick. I could do that."
The minister didn't respond. However, the next Sunday he decided to repeat the text. This time he did it properly, "And they fed five thousand men with five loaves of bread and two fishes." Smiling, the minister said to the noisy man, "Could
you do that, Mr. Perkins?"
The member of the flock said, "I sure could."
"How would you do it?"
"With all the food I had left over from last Sunday!"
A Messy Kitchen Real signs found in the real kitchens of real people.
"A messy kitchen is a happy kitchen and this kitchen is delirious."
"A clean house is a sign of a misspent life."
"If we are what we eat, then I'm easy, fast, and cheap."
"Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator."
"My next house will have no kitchen, just vending machines."
"A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand."
These sayings point to some of our society's attitudes about food: 'only junk food is enjoyable', 'food is meant to satisfy us', 'if I had to cook it, it doesn't taste good', and 'as long as it's not good for me, I should eat as much as I want'. We stuff ourselves, trying to fill the hole inside of us with food, as if we could eat something that would satisfy us. But we
could stuff ourselves at every meal and still be hungry for something deeper!
God-shaped Vacuum "There is a God-shaped vacuum in the heart of every person, and it can never be filled by any created thing. It can only be filled by God, made known through Jesus Christ." Blaise Pascal
A Chinese scholar was lecturing when all the lights in the auditorium went out. He asked members of the audience to raise their hands. As soon as they had all complied, the lights went on again. He then said, "Prove wisdom of Old Chinese saying: 'Many hands make light work."
Fred was telling his friend how his uncle tried to make a new car for himself..."so he took wheels from a Cadillac, a radiator from a Ford, some tires and fenders from a Plymouth..." "Holy Cow," interrupted his friend, "What did he end up with?" And Fred replied, "Two years."
posted by joypastordon at 11:38 AM
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