February 1
Remember...
Once you get over the hill, you'll begin to pick up speed.
I love cooking with wine. Sometimes I even put some in the food.
If it weren't for STRESS I'd have no energy at all.
Whatever hits the fan... Will Not Be Evenly Distributed.
Everyone has a photographic memory. Some, like me, just don't have any film.
"God uses broken things. It takes broken soil to produce a crop, broken clouds to give rain, broken grain to give bread, broken bread to give strength. It is the broken alabaster box that gives forth perfume--it is Peter, weeping bitterly, who returns to greater power than ever." - Vance Havner
If you have three quarters, four dimes, and four pennies, you have $1.19 You also have the largest amount of money in coins without being able to make change for a dollar
By raising your legs slowly and lying on your back, you can't sink in quicksand
The first product Motorola started to develop was a record player for automobiles. At that time, the most known player on the market was the Victrola, so they called themselves Motorola.
I always know...
God won't give me more than I can handle
There are times I just wish He didn't trust me quite so much.
Dogs Have Owners ~ Cats Have Staff
If the shoe fits... buy a pair in every color.
Never be too open-minded, your brains may fall out.
Just going to church doesn't make you a Christian.
Not any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
Bills travel through the mail...at twice the speed of checks.
If you look like your passport picture... you probably need the trip.
Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.
A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.
Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.
Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.
Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.
A woman goes to the doctor for her yearly physical. The nurse starts with certain basics. "How much do you weigh?" she asks. "115," she says. The nurse puts her on the scale. It turns out her Weight is 140. The nurse asks, "Your height?" "5 foot 8," she
says. The nurse checks and sees that she only measures 5' 5". She then takes her blood pressure and tells the Woman it is very high. "Of course it's high!" she screams, "When I came in Here I was tall and slender! Now I'm short and fat!"
Sending off her ten-year-old son to pick up a pizza, my sister handed him money and a two-dollar coupon. Later he came home with the pizza, and the coupon. When asked to explain, he replied, "Mom, I had enough money. I didn't need the coupon."
On vacation in Hawaii, my stepmom, Sandy, called a café to make reservations for 7 p.m. Checking her book, the cheery young hostess said, "I'm sorry, all we have is 6:45. Would you like that?" "That's fine," Sandy said. "Okay," the woman confirmed. Then she added, "Just be advised you may have to wait 15 minutes for your table."
Security and peace of mind were part of the reason we moved to a gated community. Both flew out the window the night I called a local pizza shop for a delivery. "I'd like to order a large pepperoni, please," I said, then gave him the address of our condominium. "We'll be there in about half an hour," the kid at the other end replied. "Your gate code is still 1238, right?"
Chewing gum while peeling onions will keep you from crying!
"The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well." -- Ralph Waldo Emerson
"Sophistication and lifestyle is understanding the difference between trinkets and treasures." -- Jim Rohn
"And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years." -- Abraham Lincoln
Fewer things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.
--Mark Twain
"A man's greatest battles are the ones he fights within himself." -- Ben Okri
"Life is not a 'brief candle'. It is a splendid torch that I want to make burn as brightly as possible before handing on to future generations." -- George Bernard Shaw
"The Bible has a word to describe 'safe' sex: It's called marriage." -- Unknown
"Anyone who stops learning is old, whether at 20 or 80. Anyone who keeps learning stays young." -- Henry Ford
The best prayer he ever heard was: "Lord, please make me the kind of person my dog thinks I am."
During a children's message, the Pastor asked the children what "Amen" means. A little boy raised his hand and said: "It means -- 'Tha-tha-tha-that's all folks!'"
A student was asked to list the 10 Commandments in any order. His answer? "3, 6, 1, 8, 4, 5, 9, 2, 10, 7".
Get free phone information look ups by calling 1-800-free-411
From Billy Graham: Most of us follow our conscience as we follow a wheelbarrow. We push it in front of us in the direction WE want to go.
Some ‘Conscience’ Thoughts to Ponder
❖ Conscience is a three-pointed thing in my heart that turns around when I do something wrong, and the points hurt a lot. But if I keep doing bad, the points eventually wear off, and then it doesn't hurt any more.
❖ Conscience is God's presence in man.
❖ Conscience is a still small voice--when it calls, often the line is busy.
❖ Contrary to what this world thinks, conscience does not get its guidance from a Gallup poll.
❖ Conscience should always go to truth for instructions.
❖ Feeding your conscience with excuses is like giving sleeping pills to your watchdog.
❖ Conscience is like a sundial--when the truth of God shines upon it, it points the right way.
❖ Once we assuage our conscience by calling something a "necessary evil," it begins to look more and more necessary and less and less evil.
"Cash, check or charge?" I asked after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet I notice a remote control for a television set in her purse.
"Do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked.
"No," she replied. "But my husband refused to come shopping with me, so I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him."
Once you get over the hill, you'll begin to pick up speed.
I love cooking with wine. Sometimes I even put some in the food.
If it weren't for STRESS I'd have no energy at all.
Whatever hits the fan... Will Not Be Evenly Distributed.
Everyone has a photographic memory. Some, like me, just don't have any film.
"God uses broken things. It takes broken soil to produce a crop, broken clouds to give rain, broken grain to give bread, broken bread to give strength. It is the broken alabaster box that gives forth perfume--it is Peter, weeping bitterly, who returns to greater power than ever." - Vance Havner
If you have three quarters, four dimes, and four pennies, you have $1.19 You also have the largest amount of money in coins without being able to make change for a dollar
By raising your legs slowly and lying on your back, you can't sink in quicksand
The first product Motorola started to develop was a record player for automobiles. At that time, the most known player on the market was the Victrola, so they called themselves Motorola.
I always know...
God won't give me more than I can handle
There are times I just wish He didn't trust me quite so much.
Dogs Have Owners ~ Cats Have Staff
If the shoe fits... buy a pair in every color.
Never be too open-minded, your brains may fall out.
Just going to church doesn't make you a Christian.
Not any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
Bills travel through the mail...at twice the speed of checks.
If you look like your passport picture... you probably need the trip.
Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.
A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.
Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.
Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.
Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.
A woman goes to the doctor for her yearly physical. The nurse starts with certain basics. "How much do you weigh?" she asks. "115," she says. The nurse puts her on the scale. It turns out her Weight is 140. The nurse asks, "Your height?" "5 foot 8," she
says. The nurse checks and sees that she only measures 5' 5". She then takes her blood pressure and tells the Woman it is very high. "Of course it's high!" she screams, "When I came in Here I was tall and slender! Now I'm short and fat!"
Sending off her ten-year-old son to pick up a pizza, my sister handed him money and a two-dollar coupon. Later he came home with the pizza, and the coupon. When asked to explain, he replied, "Mom, I had enough money. I didn't need the coupon."
On vacation in Hawaii, my stepmom, Sandy, called a café to make reservations for 7 p.m. Checking her book, the cheery young hostess said, "I'm sorry, all we have is 6:45. Would you like that?" "That's fine," Sandy said. "Okay," the woman confirmed. Then she added, "Just be advised you may have to wait 15 minutes for your table."
Security and peace of mind were part of the reason we moved to a gated community. Both flew out the window the night I called a local pizza shop for a delivery. "I'd like to order a large pepperoni, please," I said, then gave him the address of our condominium. "We'll be there in about half an hour," the kid at the other end replied. "Your gate code is still 1238, right?"
Chewing gum while peeling onions will keep you from crying!
"The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well." -- Ralph Waldo Emerson
"Sophistication and lifestyle is understanding the difference between trinkets and treasures." -- Jim Rohn
"And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years." -- Abraham Lincoln
Fewer things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.
--Mark Twain
"A man's greatest battles are the ones he fights within himself." -- Ben Okri
"Life is not a 'brief candle'. It is a splendid torch that I want to make burn as brightly as possible before handing on to future generations." -- George Bernard Shaw
"The Bible has a word to describe 'safe' sex: It's called marriage." -- Unknown
"Anyone who stops learning is old, whether at 20 or 80. Anyone who keeps learning stays young." -- Henry Ford
The best prayer he ever heard was: "Lord, please make me the kind of person my dog thinks I am."
During a children's message, the Pastor asked the children what "Amen" means. A little boy raised his hand and said: "It means -- 'Tha-tha-tha-that's all folks!'"
A student was asked to list the 10 Commandments in any order. His answer? "3, 6, 1, 8, 4, 5, 9, 2, 10, 7".
Get free phone information look ups by calling 1-800-free-411
From Billy Graham: Most of us follow our conscience as we follow a wheelbarrow. We push it in front of us in the direction WE want to go.
Some ‘Conscience’ Thoughts to Ponder
❖ Conscience is a three-pointed thing in my heart that turns around when I do something wrong, and the points hurt a lot. But if I keep doing bad, the points eventually wear off, and then it doesn't hurt any more.
❖ Conscience is God's presence in man.
❖ Conscience is a still small voice--when it calls, often the line is busy.
❖ Contrary to what this world thinks, conscience does not get its guidance from a Gallup poll.
❖ Conscience should always go to truth for instructions.
❖ Feeding your conscience with excuses is like giving sleeping pills to your watchdog.
❖ Conscience is like a sundial--when the truth of God shines upon it, it points the right way.
❖ Once we assuage our conscience by calling something a "necessary evil," it begins to look more and more necessary and less and less evil.
"Cash, check or charge?" I asked after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet I notice a remote control for a television set in her purse.
"Do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked.
"No," she replied. "But my husband refused to come shopping with me, so I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him."
posted by joypastordon at 4:00 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home