October 7
My 12-year-old daughter asked me, "Mom, do you have a baby picture of yourself? I need it for a school project." I gave her one without thinking to ask what the project was. A few days later I was in her classroom for a parent-teacher meeting when I noticed my face pinned to a mural the students had created. The title of their project was "The oldest thing in my house.”
Some folks are so eager to find fault, you'd think there's a reward.
Man to wife: "Boy, you are getting old, look at all the wrinkles you are getting!"
Wife: "They aren't wrinkles, they're laugh lines!"
Man: "Nothing is that funny!!"
"I'm growing old by myself. My wife hasn't had a birthday in years." - Milton Berle
Chocolate Calories
A good piece of chocolate has about 200 calories. As I enjoy two servings per night, and a few more on weekends, I consume 3,500 calories of chocolate in a week, which equals one pound of weight per week. Therefore...
In the last 3 1/2 years, I have had a chocolate caloric intake of about 180 pounds. I weigh only 165 pounds, so without chocolate, I would have wasted away to nothing about three months ago! I owe my life to chocolate.
"By perseverance the snail reached the ark." --Charles Haddon Spurgeon
"Thank you, God, for this good life and forgive us if we do not love it enough."--Garrison Keillor
"What lies behind us and what lies ahead of us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us" --William Morrow
"Opportunity never knocks; it is within you." -- Denis Waitley
"There are three kinds of people: Those who make things happen; those who watch things happen; and those who wonder what happened!" -- An old American military saying
"I attribute my success to this: I never gave or took an excuse." -- Florence Nightingale
"Those who travel the high road of humility are not troubled by heavy traffic." -- Alan Simpson
"What can be more foolish than to think that all this rare fabric of heaven and earth could come by chance, when all the skill of science is not able to make an oyster?" - Jeremy Taylor
Most people assume WWJD is for "What would Jesus do?"
But the initials really stand for "What would Jesus drive?"
One theory is that Jesus would tool around in an old Plymouth because "the Bible says God drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden of Eden in a Fury."
But in Psalm 83, the Almighty clearly owns a Pontiac and a Geo. The passage urges the Lord to "pursue your enemies with your Tempest and terrify them with your Storm."
Perhaps God favors Dodge pickup trucks, because Moses' followers are warned not to go up a mountain "until the Ram's horn sounds a long blast."
Some scholars insist that Jesus drove a Honda but didn't like to talk about it. As proof, they cite a verse in St. John's gospel where Christ tells the crowd, "For I did not speak of my own Accord..." Meanwhile, Moses rode an old British motorcycle, as evidenced by a Bible passage declaring that "the roar of Moses' Triumph is heard in the hills."
Joshua drove a Triumph sports car with a hole in its muff!ler... "Joshua's Triumph was heard throughout the land." And, following the Master's lead, the Apostles car pooled in a Honda ........."The Apostles were in one Accord."!!
The trouble with nearly everybody who prays is that he says "Amen" and runs away before God has a chance to reply. Listening to God is far more important than giving Him your ideas. ... Frank Laubach (1884-1970), ““apostle to the illiterates””
Our Adversary majors in three things: noise, hurry and crowds. If he can keep us engaged in "muchness" and "manyness," he will rest satisfied.... Richard J. Foster
"The truth of the matter is that you always know the right thing to do. The hard part is doing it." -- General H. Norman Schwarzkopf
"There are some people who live in a dream world, and there are some who face reality; and then there are those who turn one into the other." -- Douglaus Everett
Ted Williams once told reporters: "All I want out of life is when I walk down the street, folks will say, ‘There goes the greatest hitter who ever lived.' "
As you walk down the street of life, may your greatest identity not be the greatest hitter who ever lived, or the greatest banker who ever lived, or the greatest computer programmer who ever lived, or the greatest lawyer who ever lived, but the greatest human who ever lived—an extraordinary specimen of the human spirit.
The apostles, in this gospel reading, are conscious of their role as leaders among the disciples. Apparently they feel they need more faith to be able to forgive the repentant and to combat strife and jealousy among them. So they say, “Increase our faith.” Jesus’ answer turns his disciples’ attention away from greater faith to its true nature. What is crucial is not the amount of faith, but its reality. A small faith can do impossible things, for with it they can tap into the miraculous power of God. After the outpouring of the Spirit at Pentecost, the disciples did humanly impossible things. Trusting in God’s power and enabled by the Spirit, they performed many mighty deeds. So, whether great or small, faith can accomplish great things for God.
"The starting point of all achievement is desire. Keep this constantly in mind. Weak desire brings weak results, just as a small amount of fire makes a small amount of heat." Napoleon Hill
Some folks are so eager to find fault, you'd think there's a reward.
Man to wife: "Boy, you are getting old, look at all the wrinkles you are getting!"
Wife: "They aren't wrinkles, they're laugh lines!"
Man: "Nothing is that funny!!"
"I'm growing old by myself. My wife hasn't had a birthday in years." - Milton Berle
Chocolate Calories
A good piece of chocolate has about 200 calories. As I enjoy two servings per night, and a few more on weekends, I consume 3,500 calories of chocolate in a week, which equals one pound of weight per week. Therefore...
In the last 3 1/2 years, I have had a chocolate caloric intake of about 180 pounds. I weigh only 165 pounds, so without chocolate, I would have wasted away to nothing about three months ago! I owe my life to chocolate.
"By perseverance the snail reached the ark." --Charles Haddon Spurgeon
"Thank you, God, for this good life and forgive us if we do not love it enough."--Garrison Keillor
"What lies behind us and what lies ahead of us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us" --William Morrow
"Opportunity never knocks; it is within you." -- Denis Waitley
"There are three kinds of people: Those who make things happen; those who watch things happen; and those who wonder what happened!" -- An old American military saying
"I attribute my success to this: I never gave or took an excuse." -- Florence Nightingale
"Those who travel the high road of humility are not troubled by heavy traffic." -- Alan Simpson
"What can be more foolish than to think that all this rare fabric of heaven and earth could come by chance, when all the skill of science is not able to make an oyster?" - Jeremy Taylor
Most people assume WWJD is for "What would Jesus do?"
But the initials really stand for "What would Jesus drive?"
One theory is that Jesus would tool around in an old Plymouth because "the Bible says God drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden of Eden in a Fury."
But in Psalm 83, the Almighty clearly owns a Pontiac and a Geo. The passage urges the Lord to "pursue your enemies with your Tempest and terrify them with your Storm."
Perhaps God favors Dodge pickup trucks, because Moses' followers are warned not to go up a mountain "until the Ram's horn sounds a long blast."
Some scholars insist that Jesus drove a Honda but didn't like to talk about it. As proof, they cite a verse in St. John's gospel where Christ tells the crowd, "For I did not speak of my own Accord..." Meanwhile, Moses rode an old British motorcycle, as evidenced by a Bible passage declaring that "the roar of Moses' Triumph is heard in the hills."
Joshua drove a Triumph sports car with a hole in its muff!ler... "Joshua's Triumph was heard throughout the land." And, following the Master's lead, the Apostles car pooled in a Honda ........."The Apostles were in one Accord."!!
The trouble with nearly everybody who prays is that he says "Amen" and runs away before God has a chance to reply. Listening to God is far more important than giving Him your ideas. ... Frank Laubach (1884-1970), ““apostle to the illiterates””
Our Adversary majors in three things: noise, hurry and crowds. If he can keep us engaged in "muchness" and "manyness," he will rest satisfied.... Richard J. Foster
"The truth of the matter is that you always know the right thing to do. The hard part is doing it." -- General H. Norman Schwarzkopf
"There are some people who live in a dream world, and there are some who face reality; and then there are those who turn one into the other." -- Douglaus Everett
Ted Williams once told reporters: "All I want out of life is when I walk down the street, folks will say, ‘There goes the greatest hitter who ever lived.' "
As you walk down the street of life, may your greatest identity not be the greatest hitter who ever lived, or the greatest banker who ever lived, or the greatest computer programmer who ever lived, or the greatest lawyer who ever lived, but the greatest human who ever lived—an extraordinary specimen of the human spirit.
The apostles, in this gospel reading, are conscious of their role as leaders among the disciples. Apparently they feel they need more faith to be able to forgive the repentant and to combat strife and jealousy among them. So they say, “Increase our faith.” Jesus’ answer turns his disciples’ attention away from greater faith to its true nature. What is crucial is not the amount of faith, but its reality. A small faith can do impossible things, for with it they can tap into the miraculous power of God. After the outpouring of the Spirit at Pentecost, the disciples did humanly impossible things. Trusting in God’s power and enabled by the Spirit, they performed many mighty deeds. So, whether great or small, faith can accomplish great things for God.
"The starting point of all achievement is desire. Keep this constantly in mind. Weak desire brings weak results, just as a small amount of fire makes a small amount of heat." Napoleon Hill
posted by joypastordon at 10:46 PM
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